OCD-UK
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Ocd is taking over my life!

Although I haven’t officially been diagnosed with ocd, I am pretty certain that this is the illness I’ve got, it’s taken over everything, my driving I constantly worry I’ve ran somebody over, I can’t throw rubbish away due to thinking I’ve wrote something awful on it and somebody will find it, I have to video my taps before I go out of the house, at work I obsess that I’ve wrote something nasty somewhere, every time I walk somewhere i fear I’ve dropped something that could get me into trouble and I get intrusive thoughts that I’m a bad person, along with false memories, no matter how hard I try I cannot rationalise with myself, my head feals like mush, I just want some support as it’s really affecting my daily life now, I don’t know how to deal with it, thanks in advance x

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That is classic OCD! A lot of OCD sufferers think they have written something awful down and feel the need to check it to make sure they haven't. I've had this myself, even to the extent of opening envelopes that I'd got all ready for the post, so I could check what I'd put down.

Checking taps is also a typical OCD behaviour. I've even heard of people taking electrical appliances to work, because it's the only way they can be sure they're unplugged. So is the driving behaviour, thinking you may have run over someone.

A helpful place to start would be to get a copy of Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It actually has a case study similar to yours, where a motorist obsessed over having possibly hit a cyclist. The book points out that people with OCD are often extremely responsible, and the very ones who are least likely to cause harm, because they take so much care not to! My guess is that you are a very safe driver!

Far from being a bad person, you sound like a very good person, concerned for others. But OCD is messing with your head. It likes to make you doubt what you do and what you might have done. It puts doubts in your head where there is no need to doubt.

The other thing to do is to get an appointment with your GP and get referred for CBT. This really can help, though it takes quite a bit of effort. If left untreated, OCD can take over your life and stop you functioning properly. It squeezes itself into every area of your life. The CBT helps you take back control. Medication also helps many people, the standard ones being the SSRI class of antidepressants, which includes sertraline, which I take.

I'm not sure that at present OCD can be cured, but you can take a stand against it and reclaim your life.

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thank you for your reply, I feel like this illness has already taken over my life, everything I do, I obsess and worry about, it’s absolutely draining! I tried setraline but I didn’t respond well to it, I was just so tired all of the time, I felt spaced out some days! I’ve just done 7 weeks of counselling and although talking has been good, my obsessions still remain the same! I am going to try cbt as I’ve heard many good things about it, but I just feel like there’s no getting my life back and that terrifies me! Have you heard of POCD? I don’t know if I suffer with that also, It’s all just one big mess and I’m not sure I’ll ever get out of it.

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It may feel like you can't get out of it, but it is possible! I've had OCD for many years, and although it has affected me greatly, I do manage to function. So can you!

Talking and counselling may make you feel better and clearer about yourself, but it doesn't really tackle OCD. Do give the CBT a try, though it isn't always easy to do. It makes demands on you and forces you to confront the OCD in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Having said that, it is effective.

I'm sorry that sertraline hasn't suited you. Perhaps one of the other SSRIs could help, or clomipramine, which is an older medication but very effective. I took clomipramine for many years before being put on sertraline. I found it good, though it did make me feel dopey.

It is absolutely draining and doing the rituals and redoing things really makes you exhausted! I have heard of POCD. But people who have it are completely safe to be around children. They are too concerned about harming a child ever to actually do it.

Do have a read of the book I suggested. It also deals with POCD, checking and other types of OCD. It is called Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it is in the excellent Overcoming series. Some extracts are available online and I can post you some links.

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How long have you been having these symptoms for? Has something changed in your life recently?

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Well I noticed I started obsessing over things 4-5 years ago, symptoms have gradually got worse over time but I feel like this year it all got too much, last year was a rollacoaster ride, we lost our lovely grandma, my nan had a bad year with her health, I got married and moved into a brand new house in the space of 2 weeks, so maybe it was a come down of last year, I don’t know really😔

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thank you for your reply sallyskins, I will definitely have a look into the links you’ve provided. I am waiting for my cbt to start, just hoping it works even a little as I can’t go on like this, it makes my life miserable😔I will definitely look into the book you advised too, it will help to have more understanding x

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