I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts for months now and have been diagnosed with OCD. I have never been a hateful, angry, or violent person before. But I’m having a new kind of thought this past week. One that has emotion behind it towards my mom. It was like a “I have to” “she deserves it” kind of thought and I’m absolutely horrified and ashamed and no matter how much I cry about it it feels like I considered/ am considering hurting her. I’ve been riddled with guilt and fear the last few days and the thoughts/feelings will go away for a bit and then when I remember them and get upset about them they start again and I start to believe that I believe them. I even looked up tips for learning how to forgive yourself because I feel so guilty and disgusting and as I read them, I felt as though I was reading how to forgive myself after I hurt her! Not for having the thoughts! I’m terrified. I feel like I’m going insane. I don’t feel like I deserve her love or kindness or to even be alive anymore. Why do I keep thinking these mean and violent thoughts of someone so dear to me. When I think about actually losing her, when I make it real, it kills me inside. This is absolute torture.
New thoughts, major guilt. : I’ve been... - OCD Support
OCD Support
New thoughts, major guilt.
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I feel insane too and completely understand, i feel like an unreal monster everyday, it gets scarier everyday. Just know you are not alone. I will pray for you. Feel better
Ocd will attach itself to our core values we hold in high esteem , such as religion, parents, family, children, morals and a multitude of other things. They are false thoughts, intrusive and bring havoc to ones mind because we suffer and try to get rid of them , even.
The strategy is to let them be, consider they are borne in your mind and will die in your mind - they not real. Thats why you should try to concentrate on reality when you have these thoughts. Let them be and try to focus on something else that is reality.
Its not easy but is doable - OCD is treatable and gradually you will retain control of what should go thru your mind.
Be well
Max
Thank you guys so much. 💜 I am doing my best. I wish well for you, also.
Hi cs0717 I have been the same with my thoughts towards a loved one it’s horrible it scares the life out of me I know how you feel but what you have to try and remember it’s just a thought no one in history has ever acted on there intrusive thoughts or ocd hope you ok and Remember it’s just a “thought”
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