Lockdown

Well, just had the most bizarre reaction walking home today from work.. my partner had to take the car so I said I'd walk home, this isn't anything new and I've been doing this walk to/from work for the last 13yrs or so but today I hated every single minute of it!! I've become really obsessed a lately about traffic, pavements and crossing roads. All totally irrational! But today as I was walking through the park I was getting more and more anxious about getting to the exit gate which leads onto a busy main road. The closer I got the more I began to panic and just as I was about to walk through the gate my feet rooted into the ground and my brain just said NOPE!

I moved backwards into the park, having a mini panic attack trying to tell myself to sort myself out and saying it's ridiculous but I just couldn't get myself to walk through that gate into the traffic! In the end I phoned my dad who just happens to work near me and I knew he'd be passing the park and he had to come and get me to take me 400yrds to my house!!

I could cry... what the hell is wrong with me :(

I'm getting worse and worse as the days go on

1 Reply

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  • That is an awful experience. I have had similar, so I understand just how difficult it can be. I have had to be rescued like that. It's like having your mind shut down on you and refuse to let you do something. But remember that having something like OCD can make you nervous in crowds and traffic. It just swirls around you, disorientating and confusing you, and crossing a road can make you feel vulnerable and exposed. Perhaps give it another try with someone with you, not under pressure of having to get to or from somewhere. But don't push too hard. There have been places I stopped myself from going to, roads I wouldn't go down, but gradually I managed to do them again.

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