Do I have OCD? Am I Bipolar? What's Wrong With Me?

Um... I'm new to this site, and I only joined because I need answers to this one question.

Let me start with what makes me think I have OCD :

1) When I am walking down the street, I feel like I have to touch every third lamp post. If I don't I feel really agitated, or I feel like I've let myself down. (( The hallways in my school are like big bricks and I have to touch every third brick, but only the ones level to my hip. ))

2) Another one about walking down the street, or even in the supermarket or at school, I have to walk on the cracks. That probably sounded weird, let me explain. If I put my foot down on the ground without it being on a line or a crack, I feel really anxious for no reason, and sometimes I feel like something bad will happen as a result of not stepping on that crack.

3) When I am writing, my capital letters must take up exactly half of the height of the line. So if I was using paper with 1 cm lines, my capital letters half to be 5 mm's tall. My small letters have to be 2-3 mm's. I sometimes measure my handwriting with a ruler to make sure it's exact. (( I get a lot of people staring at me because of 1, 2, and 3. ))

4) You may have noticed my typing. Most sites only show it in the preview, and when you submit your post, it's been changed. But I have to have a certain amount of spaces between the margin, and the start of my sentience, depending what it's purpose is. When I said "Um... I'm new to this site, and I only joined because I need answers to this one question. " and " Let me start with what makes me think I have OCD.", I had exactly 5 spaces between the margin and the sentience. At the start of each of my points, I have to have 10. Also I can only use double brackets (( Like this. )) .

5) I have to spell all words correctly, and use proper grammar, punctuation, no short hand typing. If I see someone use short hand in a text I will not reply as I am to scared of saying something that they will take the wrong way, even though I just want to tell them to write properly.

6) My room has to be in order, everything in place. But it's very hard for me to keep it this way as I share a room with my two younger sisters. I feel very ashamed of it (( And I can assure you I don't do it anymore!! )) but if I came home to a messy room, I would make my sister clean it, and shout nasty things at her. Now, when I still come home to a messy room everyday, I make them both get out while I clean it myself.

7) The volume on my TV or phone must be at exactly 15, 30, or 60. On my laptop, it must be 2, 5, 20, 50, 75, or 100. (( The brightness on my Laptop must be 5 if I'm in the dark, or 100 if I'm in the light. On my phone I must have it at exactly 0 or 100. ))

8) I heard people with OCD are likely to have a liking for lists. ... I love lists.

I think I could be bipolar because :

1) I will go through about two weeks of feeling depressed, lonely, etc. Then for about a week, I will be extremely happy, optimistic, but the slightest thing will bring my mood crashing down.

2) A lot of the time, I have really nasty thoughts about the people around me and I hate myself for it. I even think of murder plans... but I'm obviously to scared to carry them out.

3) I get a lot of bad mood swings, were I literally lock myself in my room and only come out for food or school. Then while I'm at school, I don't talk to anyone.

I'm not sure about : `

1) I try my hardest not to get involved in anything social, I've quit all my school clubs, I quit my Teak Won Do lessons, I don't go out with my friends anymore, and if someone talks to me, I ill answer in a super quiet voice, no matter who much I try to speak louder. Also, all my teachers think if they make me speak in front of the whole class it will help my confidence. It doesn't. I almost cry every time.

2) I'm always really scarred of leaving my house. I always either hide a sharpened pencil on the inside of my jacket, or make sure I'm wearing my steel caps boots. I have this believe that everyone around me are actually actors, or that they aren't who they say they are, or I'm the only one who isn't in on the plan.

3) I can sometimes feel a hand on my shoulder, and not always a gentle one. Most of the time it just rests there, other times it pushes me down, as if it's trying to push me to the ground.

4) I always feel like I'm being followed and watched. No matter where I am, if I'm alone in my bedroom, or locked in a bathroom stall at school, or in a changing room at the pool.

5) I believe that other people can read my mind. Even though I still believe that they are just clones, I kinda feel like I could be a test subject or something, and there monitoring my thoughts or something.

6) I think all people online are just robots or computers.

7) I don't believe in celebrities. I think they are just something the government uses to distracts us from something bigger.

So, can you tell me what you think??

13 Replies

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  • Hi, can I ask how old you are? : )

  • Oh, I forgot to mention. I'm 13.

  • Hey :-) I am 13 and I think I have OCD and a bipolar disorder too. I have a lot of similar problems as you do but I haven't been diagnosed with any of these disorders yet. I have recently spoken to my mum about my OCD and she made an appointment with my GP which I'm going to soon. I have a lot of mood swings and I get angry a lot. I think about murdering people a lot. I'm really paranoid. I think I'm being watched a lot. I have so many OCD things like ordering books in alphabetic order, checking my toilet lock is locked several times, using correct grammar and punctuation at all times etc. If something/someone prevents me from doing certain things I get extremely angry or sad. If I see someone's shoe laces untied, I get really agitated and have to tie it for them. I have an earlier post explaining some of the things I do so you can check if you want. I suggest you talk to an adult you can trust or talk to your GP. I can really relate to your post and I think you have OCD. But I'm only 13 so I don't know much about this. Bye :-)

  • Thanks for the reply! I don't think I can really talk about it to my mum, she is more like a fool-about friend to me, to be honest, we never take each other seriously. I kinda brought it up to my friend but she laughed and said I was being dramatic.

  • I'm sorry to hear that. Some of my friends have noticed how I act and have commented on it. I just sort of brush it off though because I sort of feel uncomfortable talking about it to them. My mum keeps on saying that I'm being fussy which just frustrates me further because I can't help thinking the way I do. I'm quite young so I can't really get any help. I hope you find a good solution :-)

  • Ugh, I'm staying at my dad's house for the holidays and he say I''m just putting it on. DX

  • Usually I've seen ocd starts in teens and I personally feel like it's got something to do with hormone levels changing during puberty or lack of something specific nutrition wise. Please speak to a parent or school nurse or teacher who can help you and book drs appointment. Please don't delay. You don't want it affecting your life as massively as it is doing right now. You don't need any of this. Being a teenager is hard enough. Talk it out with Dr. Please don't leave it for it to become worse

  • Thank's, I'm really nervous to talk about it, but my mum and dad both say I'm just putting it on DX

  • Hey there - there's definitely potential that you have OCD, but I personally don't think it sounds like you're bipolar.

    Bipolar disorder cycles from depression to mania, usually with depressive states lasting from between a few weeks to a few months, sometimes even years. Manic states usually last for much less time, from a few days to a few weeks, but can go on longer. You said you have a few weeks of feeling depressed, and then a week very elated? This sounds too rapid cycling to be bipolar - but it could be bipolar mixed states, or very rapid cycling.

    However, many of the other symptoms you list, including the ones you list for bipolar disorder, are symptoms which fall under OCD!

    Paranoia, and delusional thoughts, are common in OCD. OCD is, ultimately, an anxiety disorder, and this anxiety can come in many different forms. For a lot of people, it comes in the form of paranoia - as you say, thoughts such as feeling you're being watched, that people can read your mind, etc. These are the 'obsessions' in OCD, which lead to the 'compulsions' - things like stepping on cracks, touching every third lamp-post, etc.

    The thoughts of wanting to hurt people even though you wouldn't even actually hurt people are also a potential symptom of OCD. They are another obsession which many OCD sufferers experience.

    If you do have OCD, it's perfectly possible that a lot of your other symptoms are from anxiety (like I said, OCD is an anxiety disorder - it often comes alongside general anxiety, too), and depression. Most people with one mental illness or disorder, such as OCD, also have something like depression or anxiety alongside it, annoyingly.

    It certainly sounds like you could be suffering from OCD. The best thing I would suggest doing is telling someone who can help, like a parent if you trust them, or just taking it straight to a doctor if you can. Therapies can help you get your anxiety under control, and learn to control your compulsions. Also, if you do have depression (or bipolar disorder) therapy and potentially mood stabilisers (though if you're 13 they'll be reluctant to give them to you just yet) can help a lot.

    I hope this has been helpful? As someone with OCD and bipolar disorder, I sort of see it as my duty to help other people who might have them, heh. It's not the most fun, but you will be okay.

    I hope you work it out!

  • Thanks so much for this reply! I tried to talk to my parents but hey told my I'm just putting it on. Also, last night my brother broke something that was very close to me, and I had to lock myself in my room because I pushed him hard against the wall and I was so scared I'd do something bad D:

    Thank's for your help though! :)

  • Hi, I have exactly the same simtums as you do with bipola. Sorry my spelling isn't very good. But I also feel like I am being watched, and have to run up the stairs when it's dark because I feel like there is a lion or tiger at the bottom waiting to get me!

  • If you're a female, the cycles of depression/confidence you're feeling is because of your period. Look up PMDD its a real thing. I have issues with OCD and I have the exact same cycle as you, but ever since I realized it, I remember to give myself a break and when I feel all down and depressed, I do my best to break out of it. Of course, if you're a female, hormones are always gonna fluctuate, and so we're always going to be more sensitive when it comes to having a mental illness/mood disorder, such as anxiety or OCD and so on. Hopefully this helps ease some of the anxiety.

    You're not alone!

  • hm, this all started before I started my period, but I guess you could be right.

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