Hello all. New to this but thought expressing my thoughts to someone for the first time in years would help. I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety and constant paranoia for the past 3 years or so but my anxieties surrounding germs and dirt have become particularly consuming the past few months. I am near to approaching the end of year 9 yet I am becoming more and more consumed with washing. My parents are becoming more concerned of my habits, most recently because they can smell the bleach on my hands which I have recently found helps me when I do not long to wash my hands for hours like straight after school before other activities. My dad seems to watch me in disgust when I am washing my hands and my own cutlery for ages and there is always an overwhelming sense of how pathetic and ridiculous I seem. This also happens whilst in school. Although I can't eat or drink in school I am always aware of people noticing my application of hand sanitizer and recently, for preventing extra hours of hand washing, clear latex gloves in I.T (for touching the keyboard) and music (when touching the piano). Many of my friends mock me and its not rare I'm labelled a 'germaphobe', whilst I know this is true there is so many other things I do which I know they will never be able to understand and it would never seem sensical to me to do anything but ignore their comments. I've always believed it was OCD in recognition of my problems aligning with the symptoms of the disorder, but since I've had no professional diagnose me I would refrain from telling my closest friends about my problems. My main frustration is how my fear of contamination and uncleanliness is the only problem my parents and some friends think I have because of its visibility, but for years now I have been consumed by steps, numbers, lines in the floor and pavement, timing and countless other things. I've become very depressed recently in the knowledge how difficult a regular life would be for me to obtain and that no one around me can understand my anxieties. It may sound like the obvious option is to talk to someone but every time my parents confront me of my cleaning habits I become extremely anxious and sort of break down. This is really the first time I've opened up about what I believe is a disorder but I this seemed like a good time since next Tuesday I am going to the doctors to discuss my problems in light of my parents concern. Any thoughts on whether or not I may have OCD would be appreciated and also any advise on how I can talk to the doctor would be great as would advise for overcoming what I feel are compulsions. Also, I am not taking any medication but if the doctor makes the decision on Tuesday hopefully then I will have a way of suppressing my anxieties.