Hello everyone, ive had bouts of anxiety and depression over the years, probably undiagnosed post natal depression too. At the moment I'm in the full swing of a year long battle with anxiety. I couldn't fully explain my symptoms to begin with and I was very confused but knew I would or could unpick what was happening to me, which I think is finally happening. I have contamination OCD about blood borne viruses, specifically HIV and Hep C. There's some other bits and bobs in there too regarding drug addicts, homeless people, bad, seedy people and their goings on. Basically, if someone other than a close family member (who I know or assume hasn't got a blood borne virus) cuts themselves, I go into an uncontrollable trance like frenzy of cleaning everything, even things in separate rooms from where the bleeding person was in. I also repeatedly ask my children if they touched anything in the room where the bleeding person was and check myself and children for cuts or abrasions on our hands that could lead to us catching a blood borne virus. Then after I've frantically cleaned everything with bleach, I finally calm down. Not long after this I feel extremely ridiculous for thinking these things and apologise to my children and feel a huge amount of guilt. I'm about to start my 3rd attempt at CBT. The 2 other tries where specifically aimed at GAD so hopefully things are going to get better in the future now that I've been diagnosed with OCD. Just getting this diagnosis alone has really lifted my spirits and boosted my confidence because all these things I've regarded as quirks in the past make sense now. Sorry about the large essay everyone. Love and best wishes to everyone.
New here & just discovered that I have OCD - OCD Support
OCD Support
New here & just discovered that I have OCD
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It's a pity that you haven't had CBT for OCD, only for GAD. Because CBT is very effective for OCD, but it does have to be target at the OCD itself. It can be difficult to do, but it does work. It's so obvious that what you've got is OCD that I'm surprised it wasn't picked up.
It is actually quite difficult to contract HIV from anything except sex or actually being injected with blood, and of course most people aren't infected anyway. But I expect you know that anyway! The point is that the OCD makes you fear it.
There's no need to feel guilty for what you do. It's the OCD! Do read up about OCD. I attach a couple of PDFs which I have found helpful, and it's worth getting a self help book.
I hope it goes well with the CBT. Do let us know how it is.
readingagency.org.uk/adults...
selfhelpguides.ntw.nhs.uk/p...
Thankyou so much for your response and pdfs. It feels so good to know people understand. Since posting, I've been doing a lot of reading up about OCD and I feel that this has been going on in various forms since my childhood. I really can't believe I didn't know I had OCD before. The future looks so much more positive now😁
I have OCD and I used to have these particular fears myself, especially regarding blood borne viruses. Fortunately it was in my adolescence and hasnt had a massive impact on my adult life but OCD can develop as you do and attach itself to whatever it is you fear. I would say it is a good step forward that you can go for specific treatment for OCD as if it isnt picked up it is easy for a person to skip around the root of the problem but not target the source 
I hope it goes well for you. OCD can be a tough road but it can be solved with the right support, also try support groups as it is amazing to know you are not alone.
Thankyou for your response kezasaff. I'm feeling so positive about starting OCD targeted CBT. When I was doing GAD CBT it just didn't seem right for what was happening to me. I think joining a support group would be great for me👍 thankyou for your advice.
You’re more than welcome! 😁😁
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