a bit down or depressed?

Hi everyone!

I know this is supposed to the season of good cheer - but to be honest I feel so miserable, I have been telling myself that I am not depressed, just frustrated and fed up with the pain - but I just cry at the stupidest things, for no reason and wonder if this is depression?

Work is no better, I have been on antibiotics this week for having ulcerated tonsils and tongue, and my glands are up.

Has anyone felt like this?

Does it get better?

and should I consider counselling (I did ask my rheumy nurse, but she said they don't have this service). My GP does know how I am feeling, but I know I have played it down - I realise that now I should have been more honest.

Sorry to be so negative - any tips to help would be wonderful, thanks

Pen

14 Replies

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  • I think having a chronic disease can lead to anxiety and depression. Fear of the future, coping with constant pain, dealing with different drugs and side effects. It all takes it's toll.

    My advice is to be honest with your GP about how you are feeling and take their advice. After an exremely difficult year I kept saying I was ok and eventually admitted I wasn't. I had counselling and am taking a low dose of antidepressant and after 2 years of anxiety, I am feeling so much better. I wish I had spoken up sooner.

    I wish you well and hope you have a peaceful Christmas.

    :-)

  • Thank you!

    I am taking amitriptiyline, but I wonder if its not enough or not working - but thanks, I will go and see my GP

    :)

  • Can I suggest you go and have an honest chat with your GP. We have all been there where we play down how we are really feeling, but believe me you need to be honest with yourself and the doctor. Sorry to not be much more use than this; but not great myself at the moment :(

  • You're not alone Pen! I think the constant pain just wears you down and the lack of a decent nights sleep plus if you have a bug as well, no wonder you feel low. I can only send my sympathy! My daughter and family came for a meal last night which took me all day to prepare. I was left with the cleaning up after a really nice evening and all I could do was howl for the sheer frustration and lonliness of it all. I lost my husband to cancer 3 years ago now and had cancer myself 18 months ago. I have an ultrasound due next Tuesday for - I hope- arthritic nodules. I wont get the results till after to Christmas so I have that hanging over my head too! On top of this I am trying to show a "happy smiley Christmas" face when deep down I would happily crawl into a hole for the next 10 days! I've never had counselling for anything so don't know if it could help you but loosing ones health is a type of bereavement so I would guess it could. Trouble is life has put us on a path in a wood where we don't want to be and don't know which path to take to try and get out of it!

    I am spending Christmas with my 2 youngest grandchildren and that is what is keeping me going right now, they blow me kisses down the phone and still believe in Santa so thats lovely.

    This is the worst time of year what with the dark evenings, the stress of Christmas and you sound as though you are still working so thats another situation you are trying to cope with. I hope knowing you are not alone with the tears and fears, might help just a little. This is a rotten condition. Do whatever you feel might help, there is no harm in trying anything that might help. A good friend with a big shoulder, a large hug and a glass of wine might be good too! Once the antibiotics have got through and your glands have gone down then hopefully you will improve a bit too so keep warm and look afteryourself!

    Charliexx

  • Charlie - bless you!

    Thank you for sharing this all with me, my heart goes out to you.

    My daughter has gone to Florida with her father for the next two weeks (he left me 5 years ago) I know this has had an effect on me too, and 'friends' have told me to just rest and be happy that she is somewhere warm and lovely - it's not that easy!

    Still I will use the next couple of weeks to sort myself out, and am greatful for the comments from friends on this site.

    Thanks, take care x Pen x

  • I am so sorry to hear this.. things can and do get better, you are not alone, please tell your gp how you are feeling.

    I think once your infection had gone your joints should be a little less painful, infections aggravate joints more xx

  • Oh Pen,

    you must be missing your daughter so much! No wonder you feel as you do! Friends can mean so well but it's so hard to be without someone you love especially at Christmas. Do you have skypee? I use it to keep in contact with some my grandchildren who live away. It's so easy to download and use. Might help till you have a real hug again???

    Charlie xx

  • My son is working in the carribean this winter and he won't be back until 17th march,and my daughter is working xmas day 10-2 in the spar,so this is going to be the strangest xmas yet.

    I skype my son,it got better after i had seen for myself that he was ok.. i miss him very much and my daughter when she is at work.Pen i'm sure your daughter will miss you as much as you miss her.

    Charlie what can i say to you except i will send you my love.You can always come on here and talk to us ra girls and we will do our best to bring a smile to your face.

    I'm on amytryptaline every night and i see a clinical pychologist at the hospital. I think we all have depression of one form or another, with this disease we can't live in hope of a cure and that will get us down and depressed..

    Take care every one of you,you have helped me.

    XXXXXXXXX

  • Thank you Sylvi, you sound a lovely lady of much wisdom and experience. I do live in hope of a cure for both this and cancer and hope many of these younger people don't have to go through so much physical and emotional pain.

    "we have today....."

    Charlie xx

  • Hi Pen and everyone,

    I have not been feeling so good lately either, i went to see my GP 3 weeks ago about my wrist and i just sobbed my heart out, i don't know where it came from, it's not like me at all i have never done that before. The Doc gave me a week off work, i rested and felt a lot better, i saw her again a week later and she said that i was mildly depressed! i have refused to take any tablets for it. I think my problem is to do with hormones, i have noticed recently that i am feeling down before my periods and with the Carpal Tunnel problem also it seems to fit. ( i had Carpal Tunnel during my first pregnancy) so i am having a test to check the hormone levels.

    Penny no wonder you are feeling low, you're not well and you're not with your daughter for Christmas, plus it's winter - dark all the time and cold!! For the last two weeks of work my boss has allowed me to finish work an hour early so that i could go home and walk my dog in the daylight, it's made such a difference to me and of course the dog has loved it! It certainly got me through the last two weeks of work.

    The ladies have all offered you good advice and counselling may be a good idea for you.

    My son is coming home from uni today, i can't wait to see him, i'm going to hug that boy so much!! :-)

    Take care Pen and i hope you improve and can try to enjoy some of Christmas and remember that you are not alone in your feelings, we're all there with you.

    xx

  • I do sometimes find that there is such a pressure to be cheerful and sunny on big festivals like christmas that it makes me feel the reverse. And especially if your daughters are elsewhere it's not surprising it's hard to find your "happy smiley xmas face" (I love that phrase Charlie). But don't feel bad about feeling bad - we all get it from time to time, comes with the RA territory I think. I'd ask about counselling as it might help you to talk through how you're feeling. Doesn't mean you can't also try anti-depressants as well. Anyway, try to give yourself a few treats as well. Take care. Polly

  • You are coping with too much especially with your daughter away. Hopefully you will feel a bit better once your cold goes away. I pm you as well with a longer reply.

  • Thank you everyone!

    I did see my GP today and he wasn't surprised to see me! I did say that I had to ask for help and he is so glad I did!

    I am starting a course of anti-depressants tomorrow and he wants me to go back and see him whenever I need to , he also gave me the number of a counsellor, I have so much going on right now that I need to be nice to myself!

    My daughter has arrived in Florida, and I will be texting and messaging her through Facebook - she will have a wonderful time, and I can relax knowing she is ok!

    Take care everyone, and thank you all again - I re-read my messages and get so much from them, so thank you!

    Lots of love to you all xxxx

  • Hi Pen

    Sorry i'm late in replying but i'm really pleased that your doctor was so kind and you are now getting the help you deserve.I'm not on anti depressants but i know that a lot of people on here find them really helpful.NRAS helpline is also good if you need a chat

    Let us know how you get on

    Love Julie

    xxx

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