Steroids have taken almost 7 days for me to feel the full benefit. However I am drained of energy by the wkend, as I take mtx on saturday. I feel so tired, until bout tuesd/wed. Last wednesday dropped a mug of tea on the cream 90% wool carpet in our bedroom. The carpet is now so bloody stained & i feel so guilty. could not support the cup with my weak wrists.
My hair has started to thin. It came out in droves in the hair dressers on satureday. I could not look as I felt as if I was just going to burst out in tears. My poor hairdress did her best to hide it! I had it cut by 3-4" as it looks now painfully fine and the roots are so delicate.My hair now lacks voume - I am not bald, just much thinner as I use to have thick hair. I hope that it does not thin anymore, but I am surprised how quickly this has happened as I have only taken 2 doses of mtx, so far. My GP has attributed this to mtx as she says its a very cytotoxic drug.
Been signed of from wk for a further two wks as I am now suffering from anxiety & depression." My god it does not pour it floods with RA". I have low self esteem at the moment partly due to whats going with my hair and anxiety due to work, they are slow to offer support, and yes more time of!
I've got a whole months of tests, every wk I am at the hosptial for either pulmonary test (what's that?), physio for my hands (at long last I have an appt. next week - hooray), every other wk bloods, gp appts & something else, but can't remember now. I think that a postive thing that I am now in the system, but alas I don't have the energy for all this and finds the prospect alittle daunting, especially as I have to do all the appts. on my own!
I feel as if I need time to regroup, the realisation that RA does not wait for any man or women for that matter has hit home hard. I absolutely hate it, as I can't control it and I feel as if I am being dragged along with it as an unwilling particpant - help I want to get off now!!!!
At my last blood work I hoped they got it wrong and were going to tell me that I don't have ra, but something else, heres some medication, you should be right as rain in a couple of wks, no need for any follow up appt. Go & GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE AGAIN; f***, if only that was true. Alas I am realist and a fighter, so when I feel up to it, I will probably plod on, but not today.
I did manage to have my flu jab today as i saw the gp, she offered to do it there and now, rather than have me recalled back. Well pleased I did it and it did not hurt as the needle is very fine (another injection i've done on my own whippeeee).
Thanks for listening and taking time out to read this blog.
Take care Sci (Joanne)