Another Fine Mess

[Martyn1974]

The last time i wrote i thought i had Oedema and was going for blood tests and scans to verify.

I was wrong!

I have a blood clot (DVT) and I am being started on Warfarin. Not what i wanted to be told at all =(

I have just got in from the hospital. The blood tests and scans show things are a little bad, bu they can be managed and cured. This was my greatest fear. Is this going to part of that old saying "It's got to get worse before it can get better.!?

It's not the end of the world. I know that, i do. But with the way this year has gone i feel utterly pathetic....useless!

I used to be a real 'Happy Go Lucky' cheerful guy, but i feel i am at the end of my tether. I lost my job. I nearly lost my girl. I have practically zero money "living" on benefits. I have no means of my own transportation. I have put on weight. I have no one visit me. I have nothing to look forward to this christmas!

Right....that's all a bit pathetic isn't it? I mean, i should really get a grip on myself and stop acting like a "poor me" character. Positives: I have a roof over my head. I have had a hip replaced which (will) get better, but it'll take time. I am not THAT overweight. There's too much emphasis on weight, and being a stone or so over is NOT that big a deal, is it? Once i am healed i can look for another job. It's what plenty of people do, and i will just be another. I have friends willing to help and listen (i just have to let them). I have a partner who (despite all this crap and how i take it out on her. Verbally NOT physically!!) she is behind me all the way and helping as best as she can. And money? When does ANYONE have enough money??

So...I am on Warfarin for 4 months and i just have to get on with it and heal. It's going to be tough, but then it's always been tough. This is just tougher!

I warble on too much but i feel like people on here will know where i'm coming from. And that is a great relief. At some point i hope to show my 'happy go lucky/cheeky chap' side again.

Thank you all for your kind words so far. I shall try and help others as best as i can too =)

Martyn (\M/)

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear you have a blood clot but must be a relief to actually know & begin to sort it out. I don't think you'll be able to keep the happy go lucky you down for long at this rate! Hope the warfarin sorts out the pain & swelling soon, keep focused on the good stuff!

[Hidden]

I actually think we can see the 'happy chappie' coming through, as after you said how you were feeling you completely turned it around to all the positives in life, and only a happy chappie can do that, whilst in your situation. Lets hope the Warfarin does it work and makes the blood clot go away in a short time, I don't know anything about these so would not know how long it takes. Take care and keep happy. xxx

[shirlthegirl]

I'm really sorry to hear of your news today, But as everyone has said we are here for you, It's great to know you have someone that really cares, And as you have said that is the most important thing, Hope the warfarin take affect soon happy chappie and take carexx

[sylvi]

Not news you wanted to hear,but thats one more thing for you to battle through.I believe that only the strong cope as well as we do with what we have. It is a hard road that your travelling on,but just remember that you will get to the end of that road and you will be all the better for it.

Sending hugs to you Sylvi.xx

[watson3]

Well done to you to keep pushing to get to the result you have. Not an easy task, when the bureaucracy of the NHS holds you back.

You are looking on the positive side,things will get better. Slow but sure progress. Get intouch with you local benefits office to make sure you are claiming for all you are entitled to.

Good luck to you and well done .

Carole

[Martyn1974 in reply to watson3]

I have severely struggled with benefits. It's frustrating because I feel I am more than qualified to get them but because I don't know the right way to go about things I am losing out on a lot. I feel it shouldn't be as hard for as it is but I have no-one to guide me.

It brings me down =(

[watson3 in reply to Martyn1974]

Hi there

I would contact your local job centre you can do this by phone and make an Appt with am advisor.

They should be able to direct you to what you are able to claim. Then contact CAB services to help you in completing your forms. Much better to get help as they know the buzz words to add to the forms.

Good luck. Hope you are feeling better today.

Carole

[Josie2]

Not good news but you do sound as if you are looking forward and being positive.

Take care and heres for a much speedy rdcovrry.

Take care

Jo

Xxxxxx

[Hidden]

Welcome get better soon or at least back to your normal self x

[helixhelix]

great that it's been detected tho', even tho not the best news to get. But don't heap even more misery on yourself by feeling bad about feeling bad! You've had a rubbish series of things in your life, so seems reasonable to be feeling low. Allow yourself that at least for a few days.... hopefully the warfarin will take down the swelling soon (presumably they've given you a card to carry to say you're on it?). Polly

[Martyn1974 in reply to helixhelix]

Yes they have given me a card Polly. I also spoke to the Patient Transport staff so I now have a way of getting there and back without having to rely on friends or finding other ways of getting to & from hospital.

I do get very hard on myself. I suppose growing up I just never imagined life like this My late father had Muscular Dystrophy and after years of seeing him struggle and cope like he did I just feel like he must have. Just not as strong.

[cris1728]

Sorry to hear that things are not good at the moment and hope that you feel better soon and get your Mojo back soon.

take care and gentle hugs crisxx

[trianon]

Sorry to hear that its a DVT - I reckon you're entitled to a moan, rant and rave right now! When that hips is healed it'll be worth it believe me - I had two done together and then had to have right one done again 4 years ago (in hospital 4 weeks that time as I had bone graft and was on total bed rest for 2 weeks) - oh boy did I rant when I got home.! Do let your friends help though and talk to them about it all. Are Social Services involved - they can help too.

[Martyn1974 in reply to trianon]

I had a bone graft too. Luckily they didn't keep me in longer than 3 days, but a part of me wishes they had now =/

I don't know how to contact Social Services. It is something i feel i need as i feel i have been let down by my local CAB time and time again.

And i really do hope that i feel the benefits after all this otherwise i'll feel a little hard done by haha

[trianon]

Are you non weight bearing on that leg too? I think I'm quite well known at my local hospital as I have many problems as a result of RA (which I've had for 54 years!). I'm unable to properly non-weight bear because of problems with my arms and using crutches which is probably why I was in hospital for so long (the op wasn't a problem - apart from the anaesthetic - probs with neck!). I felt better when I was weight bearing, you feel as if you're getting somewhere then.

Contact your local council and ask to be put through to Social Services and they'll put you through to the appropriate section. Or you could ask your district nurse to do it.

I'm really surprised that the hospital didn't arrange things for you as you live on your own. Did you not have a pre-op assessment, not just to assess your health but to assess your needs when you got home (e.g. right height chair, raised toilet seat, plus help with meals etc). They could also have referred you to a social worker while you were on the ward.

I am an old hand at this so know the ropes - but do accept any help that is offered, whether its by 'the professionals' or your friends because you need it right now.

All the best.

[Martyn1974 in reply to trianon]

My arms are okay so i can hold my weight. They're just not as "toned" as i'd like them to be lol. I don't have full movement in my arms or shoulders due to RA and when/if i get a flare in them, or my wrists, things can become difficult and painful.

The operation, by all accounts, was a success. I went in fearful with tears running down my face. They made me lie on my side and *whammo* next thing i'm giggling like a child in recovery totally unaware of anything being done. I'm known at my local hospital too but because that's where i last worked, so when i came around i thought i was Dorothy in The Wizard Of Oz pointing out all the people i knew like they were in my dream. We all had a good giggle, especially when i started humming "If i only had a heart..."

I shall contact either my district nurse or council regarding Social Services as soon as i can.

Although i live on my own i do have a partner and she's helping with the food and cleaning of my place and me. But she'll only stay and hour or two during the week and then stay the weekends. Due to a falling out in the middle of the year we've been taking things slow as she's a delicate little flower....who seems to enjoy the idea of stabbing me with Fragmin haha

I will accept help now. I never used to. You can call it pride but i felt like i had to do things alone as that's how i'd been for so many years. My family's a tad broken ever since my father passed away over 20 years ago.

And no-one's an old hand in my eyes. Just wise and wonderful =)

Thank you for all your kind words

Martyn =)