I'm probably posting this on wrong forum, but some of you know my RA history, as well as depression history. Double whammy. Today I saw a psychologist, and did nothing but cry for the whole session. Sort of brought it home that I'm getting more and more down as time goes on. He was nice, and seeing him might even help eventually, but I just feel overwhelmed. And stupid - how can I have not realised that I'm depressed? Not that he offered any answers, not yet anyway, so I was left feeling worse than when I went in. Sorry to be so pathetic, but it's late, I'm exhausted and also really scared. Really really scared. Talk about losing the will to live, that's how I feel. Please can anyone advise me? Am going off to bed now, so will hope for some replies in morning. Thanks for reading this.
Cracking up....: I'm probably posting this on wrong... - NRAS
Cracking up....
So sorry to hear about your experience with the psychologist but hopefully- as you say - this is the beginning of something better. I have no experience of depression related to my health (I have suffered depression from bereavement which I suspect is quite different). However, I do think that starting therapy must surely be a positive step forward and I hope you can see it in this way.
Depression coupled with RA must be absolutely exhausting, but if you can be encouraged by the fact that the health professionals are trying to help and that they will surely be able to offer some way through this awful period you are experiencing at the moment.
I wish you all the best on your road to improved health. The road you started down today.
From another Scots lass.
Ditto to every word Allije has said and a cyber hug to go with it. From yet another Scots lass
I think you've taken a huge first step in actually seeing a Psychologist Sheena. The longer you see him the more you'll realise that they do have their place, they're necessary & there's no shame in it.
I don't have personal experience but I know how my h's Cardio Psychologist has helped him this past year, in fact we were only saying this evening we dread to think what would have happened to him if he hadn't sought out the recommendation from the Cardio Unit Physios & nurses. She's making headway with him now but it's taken that long & now sees him weekly for reasons I won't go into as this is an unlocked post but save to say for someone who you'd think would be the last to admit he needed help he's so thankful he did.
I'm so sorry it's reached the stage it has with you coming to realise how depressed you'd become but I'm confident you'll find that overwhelming feeling will ease over the next few sessions. Crying is a natural response & you're certainly not pathetic my love.
You know we're here any time if it helps at all. x
Crying will help and the person taking care of your emotional needs knows that. Next visit you will find you will start to talk.Crying is a big help when becoming undepressed(thought that was a good way to say of you recovering) Your not pathetic and don't say you are darling,your chronically ill and depression of any sort is a by product of it. You have diseases that you will never get better from and yes you will be depressed some people will more depressed than others so don't get down about it.xxxxxx
Oh Scotslass333 you are not stupid, you are overwhelmed. Continue crying, let out a good scream because we all know RA sucks. I bet it felt good to let out all your emotions. Continue going to your psychologist. Getting intouch with your emotions will help you deal with your dang RA. Your psychologist will also help you with your will to live. Your life has value and I am glad you are here.
As you Brits say, "Chin up" tomorrow is a new day and we are always here to talk to you if you still feel really scared. You are not alone.
Take care
Sue
I have often felt worse after being to see a health professional and talking about how I feel. Usually I just ignore it and get through that way, but trying to explain it all makes me tearful and feel hopeless. But then I just get on with things again. But talking about it often makes me face up to what I need to do to cope, so it does work despite feeling awful at the time.
Thank you ALL for your replies, am just tagging this on to oldtimer's reply becos am still not that sure of where I should write (!), or if I should do a new post entitled Thank You ......not that it matters I suppose. Am really grateful to you all. But I didn't have a good night's sleep, and things don't look much brighter I'm afraid. It's always been a vicious circle with me and my mental health, as oldtimer says, sitting there and focusing on all the bad stuff just leaves you feeling worse....but at same time I need help from some sort of professional. I think. My negative thinking has always been a problem, but when you add in the RA, and living alone, I just seem to be in a cycle of getting worse, and sitting here ruminating does not help. His word, ruminating! I'm on maximum dose of antidepressants anyway, AND I can't see the psychologist again for 3 weeks. But will struggle on, one day at a time - as we all do, eh? Will try to do something physical today, like housework!! Bless you all for being there. xxx
can you see the tears as a good sign - in the sense that you have to face emotions and their causes before you can deal with them properly? I'm sure the psychologist will understand that. You're not pathetic at all -you've had the courage to start a new road which will help.
Here's hoping you feel better this morning.
I have also found a good technique is to write down a negative thought and then change it in a positive one - or sometimes just an aphorism like "You can't change the rain, so learn to dress for it!" I've got lots of aphorisms stuck up around the house - my grandson likes "If a thing is worth doing well, it's worth doing badly the first time." and "Every journey starts with the first step."
I like that - and you taught me a new word! Aphorism, eh? Mind you if I wrote down every negative thought I'd do nothing else. It really is a double edged sword,tho - if I don't talk to him about 'the bad stuff ' he can't help, but then I feel worse.....anyway, thanks oldtimer.
When I do the writing down stuff, I limit myself to half a page and only do it three days a week. "Everything in moderation" - but I do find that it helps. Sometimes it has even made me laugh how stupid I can get!
up date on father
Cracking neck
What's up Doc??
What next?
Enthesitis? I may finally be getting closer to the answer!
