I recieved a letter from the hospital the other day and I was so happy when I read it that I actually cried. The main words that stood out to me were: 'Emma is clinically in remission'. I couldnt believe it! Ive waited 16 long years and finally had the news that Ive been waiting for.
I stood there in disbelief for a good 15mins because I found it hard to believe. Im still really struggling with my knee and my ankle so how could I be in remission? My Dad explained it to me though. He said that the pains Im experiencing at the moment in my knee and my ankle are mechanical pains and that there isnt actually any swelling which means that there isnt any active arthritis there. Its all 'wear and tear' pains and at the moment my arthritis isnt active which is why they can say that Im in remission.
Its a bit annoying that the pains I have at the moment cant be easily sorted with painkillers or joint injections etc but Im managing. I feel the happiest I have been in a while at the moment and Im hoping this feeling lasts for a long time.
I know that I will never ever fully get rid of my arthritis and that I will have it for the rest of my life whether Im in remission or not and I do know that may be in a few months time or even a couple of weeks or even maybe a year or so, that it will flare up again but Im stronger mentally now and I think Id be able to cope with the situation a bit better if it ever did occur.
I need to say a big thank you to my family and friends for all of the help, support, love and guidance they have given me through living with arthritis. Without them and their positivity I honestly do not know what state I would be in now. I think I would be a big emoitional heap on the floor!
I feel as if Im writing as if I have fully defeated my arthritis and it is completely out of my body but I know its not. Ive still got a long way to go e.g. sorting out my knee and my ankle and really making sure that I am on the right medicines. I know Im never gonna be 100% free of arthritis but Im happy to accept that. For the time being, Im just going to carry on and hope for the best and wait and see what surprises life throws at me next and deal with them as and when they happen. Im gonna get my knee and ankle sorted, hope for the best and enjoy living life as a student
I hope everyone is feeling okay!x