I've been missing for a little while I know. I suppose the reason for this is I feel a little unworthy since not knowing yet what the hell is going on with me. I see you all suffering flares and discussing your treatments and sort of think "Who am I to pass comment?" Also I've been sort of "digging in" and trying to cope without any medical support which has not been easy. I finally get to see the rheumatologist next Wednesday so hopefully will get some answers. My anti ccp and esr results should be with him so fingers crossed..if anyone can cross their fingers! I've got steadily worse over the past couple of months. My feet are really quite painful now most of the time as well as my hands. I've taken a couple of photos of my sausage fingers this morning to show the rheumy next week. I've also been keeping a pain diary for the past couple of months.
My ESA got stopped yesterday as I didn't score a single point on the medical so I had to go to the jobcentre today. I felt really emotional as the pain and worry are getting me down right now and just coping with daily living is enough without looking for a job too. Anyway the advisor I saw was just lovely and he told me to stay on ESA and appeal. He wrote my appeal letter for me as I cant hold a pen and I managed to scribble a signature. He said it could take around 8 months for the appeal and I'll continue to be paid ESA. Hopefully I'll have a diagnosis and treatment before that time comes.
I'm still following my healthy eating plan and have now lost 43lbs since January which I'm really pleased about. I finally plucked up the courage to go swimming 3 times a week and my swimsuit which was too tight is fitting just fine...if a little baggy in the bum! I'm trying extra hard to be good though because it's my silver wedding anniversary in August and we've booked to go to London for a night and see Blood Brothers. I'm really looking forward to it but can't believe I've been married nearly 25yrs..now I do feel old!
Following on from my very self indulgent few paragraphs I hope you are all keeping well and look forward to catching up. I'll have to do a little reading on the blogs to bring myself up to date. Hope you like my new picture? Decided it was time to come out of the closet lol.
Paula x x