Because of a long term back problem and RA my mobility and exercise levels has been almost zero for the last 5 yrs. This has resulted in me becoming morbidly obese -that's dead fat to all us non-medicals- and with more wobble than a bath of chivers jelly.
I was forced into retirement through ill health 8 months ago and it's been a long road, coming to terms with the feeling of being chucked on the rubbish heap, and thinking well that's it then just got to sit and wait for God now.
I have tried really hard to fight this so emotions have been on a real roller coaster. Couldn't sleep last night and was watching Gok Wan trying to sort out a lady who had lost all confidence following back surgery very similar to mine. When he asked onlookers what they thought of the scar on her back One lady said it's behind her why is she worrying, you cannot change the past so always move forward.
Well wham bam thank you mam... it all fell into place. I spend all my time grieving for what I cannot do instead of celebrating what I can do. I feel sorry for myself..............so it's all gotta stop.
I have started my sensible eating plan today which will replace my 24hr grazing to satisfy emotional hunger. I have trawled the internet and found sandals to replace the ones I have been wearing since 2005 so ordered two pairs for the hell of it. Will have to keep the old ones though as they took me on some wonderful journeys around India Bhutan and Kenya....sorry I digress.... Have also ordered the PT rebounder so can get gently fit. Have booked to have my hair cut, coloured and highlighted on wednesday. Have written an explanatory and apologetic letter to a friend I drfited away from during this time.... now gonna have 40 winks and dream of the bright new dawn !!!
Well done Sue and the very best of luck! I joined weight watchers in Jan and have lost some weight and feel so much better, as for new shoes, they will help. A new hair do can give you such a boost! I am going to try and get that PT rebounder (bounce bounce!) let us know how you like it?
congratulations on the weight loss, good luck with getting a rebounder and thanks for your support
Sue x
well done... i have been a bit of an emotional eater too.. it is easy to do.. had salads today and yesterday,, to kick start my weight loss. bit tricky when on steroids.. but i am on a gradual reduction with these 10mg at moment
Wow...what an incredible day with all those changes/actions. Hope your bright new dawn is truly fantastic, and am v impressed by courage of tackling all these things at once. Managing one thing at a time is tough enough with RA, so good luck. Polly
I really feel for you - so many similar things have happened to me.
I was diagnosed with diabetes a year and a bit ago, and I found that the pills they put me on gave me the runs, and also nausea. That had the effect of supporting the new regime I'd prescribed for myself which was eating less. I'm trying to eat slowly and smaller. Its not steady, I can still sit down and eat a big tub of icecream when I'm feeling sorry for myself but the weight loss has happened. Slow and small portions seems to have worked. But if you have a family, they need to help you by eating slowly too!
Good luck, these things are not easy.
Hi Sue, I too saw the Gok Wan programme and my thoughts on the womens scar on her back was the same "it's behind her" Perhaps though not for altogether the same reasons, I too have many scars on my body through RA operations, two very long ones on each foot, one below each knee about three inches long, one on each wrist about the same size, and three on my elbow which is the worst due to a total elbow replacement. I used to hate them and always wanted to try and hide them if possible, but now I don't care its part of me and who I am. If there were no scars there would have been no ops and my life would have been totally different.
My point in all this Sue is that yes it is behind you in more ways than one, and I feel very proud of you for wanting to change, move on and accept what as happened to you.
It is very difficult as we sometimes get into a "rut" so to speak, and find it hard to move on as we feel banished from society, but good on you for being determined with what you want, I wish you all the best.
Take care
mand xx
Oh Sue, good on you!! It's really good isn't when something you hear or see or read can suddenly put things into perspective and get you motivated. It all sounds good. I am going through a bit of a downer at the moment, but I know that if I keep at it, in small doses, not overdo things, pace myself, I will get back to where I was. I have lost weight and it has made such a difference, and having "lost" it a bit in the last couple of days and eaten too much naughty stuff I can tell just how much difference it makes. So I have got up this morning, read your blog, which has encouraged me no end, and am determined to get back to being happy ill again. Thank you Sue and all the very best, if the going gets tough you know where to come for support.
Having reached retirement a year ago I sympathise with you about feeling like you have been thrown on the rubbish heap.
I was made redundant 18 months before my official retirement date, went for various interviews then decided I was wasting my time looking for work.This decision made it 'my decision' not anyone else's. Then I started enjoying not working. I too have problems with my back/spine (shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, hips, knees and ankles you name it and I probably now have it) and sometimes I get so low I can't see a way forward, it is an 'un-sung' symptom of RA. I cannot get about much, weekly shop with my Husband and hospital appointments as and when. In other words - not much exercise. (I shall have to do something about this, even if it's only going up and down stairs a dozen times more a day).
Your decision to loose weight, exercise more, get your hair cut and etc., order new sandals have all been 'your decisions', this sounds to me like you are definitely not on the rubbish heap, more on the road to positive thinking and good for you. An inspiration to all of us!
Well done Sue you are so right celebrate what you have and who you are now. In the year 2000 i reached my goal at Weight Watchers having lost 4 and a half stone. It was the most wonderful feeling and gave me the courage to ditch my husband of nearly 20 years get a better job and cut my hair. 11 years later a lot of the weight has returned due to poor mobility comfort eating after losing my job and becoming full time carer to Mum. However I am happy with lovelly friends and a wonderful family. Sooner or later I will get some weight off as you will too Sue. Sorry for laughing but I loved the Chivers jelly comment. Keep on keeping on. Sharon
Hi Sue
just read this blogg- could relate to all of it. Made me smile and feel how much we all struggle with the same issues. This may be your time to do it !!! Sometimes things just click and we have a mental shift. whatever happens be kind to yourself and dont give up! Tommorrow is another day- two steps forward one step back- you WILL get there in the end. Then you can encourage me ( when my flares a bit more stable and I can go for it too !!! )
love
fiona xxx
some great comments ladies xx
Well done you!! I wish you all the very best for the way ahead. Positivity is always a good thing and really can help us to move mountains. Focusing on loss is never a good thing as it brings us down very easily, there are so many things out there that we can and should do.
Take care and let us know how it goes. Fancy a rebounder myself!! Hmm ... thinks seriously about this!
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Met a lovely lady in Blackpool.
late diagnosis-too old?
Ok im going insane inside of my little head....not literally cos I've been there before and I don't have time to be mental at moment!
Dispersible voltarol
