So fed up

[sylvi]

I am so having a bad day. Haven't slept very well again. My joints ache as does my knee. I am getting very worried about my knee as it is getting worse not better,i know until i get it repaired it will be bad. It's just getting me down. No mtx so my joints are suffering. I try ever so much to be optomistic but sorry friends i can't be today. My back is hurting every time i start to do anything. I know thats because i'm carrying too much weight,but how can i lose weight when i can barely walk. My mind tells me i can do thing my body says no.

Had a blood test last week and the results are back,but i can't see the doctor who is treating me until monday afternoon,where's the sense in that. I know there are people out there who are a lot worse than i am,but it is not helping me.

I pinning so much on thie knee being repaired that i wonder if i'm depending too much on the outcome. Will i disapointed if i don't get the result i want and need yiu bet i will. I am sure it will come out ok,but the big bad demons keep trying to get in and unsettle me.

At least i am alive unlike pc rathbone,he has had a lot of troubles since he got shot 2yrs ago,so i should be grateful i know.

Just having a down day,will try to be cheerful another time. xx

[helixhelix]

I'm not surprised you're having a down day - you've got a heap of stuff to deal with. I think that your feeling of worry about pining a lot on the knee op is something to think more about, and maybe talk to physio or OT about how to get a bit of exercise even if you're not walking? I've only lost a few pounds in last 6 months, but I do feel better for it and it's helped my knee too. It's tough as I have zero will power, but I know I mustn't give up. Hope sun's shining where you are, as it's great here and that's cheering me up. P

[LavendarLady]

Hi Sylvi, I think if you are in pain, you always feel down. You are obviously worrying about the knee op and hoping it will solve all the problems! It is difficult to lose weight when you can't walk or exercise. I have a friend with the same problems - both her knees need sorting and she is in tremendous pain all the time but they won't do anything until she has lost 2 stone! She is trying by cutting down on food and has looked at Slimming World on line for inspiration about what she can and can't eat. Might be worth a look.

Try to keep the leg up as much as you can and use a cold pack to reduce swelling and inflammation. Try to get a sleep this afternoon to help as well.

Can you put a pillow or something under your knee at night to support it? Might be worth a try. When I was having so much trouble with my shoulder, one of the bloggers on here suggested it. I did try it but kept sliding off it! But it might work better resting your leg on it. Don't forget your pain killers either.

I'm afraid only the doctors at a surgery can give out information about blood test results - staff are not allowed to. We also have the same system at our surgery although sometimes the nurses will tell me.

My back gives me hell once I have started doing something - even trying to hoover the sitting room gives me so much pain I have to sit down and put some heat on my back. Wear and tear I think.

Hope you get a better night's sleep tonight and feel better tomorrow. The sun is shining here and it is a beautiful day. Hope it is nice where you are.

Lavendar Lady x

[sylvi]

Ladies the weather is very sunny, Hubby has come home and he and grace have gone to do the shopping. Then they are going to pick up a table i ordered for going over my chair so will have to look forward to.

Losing weight is the bane of my life,when i am well i can do it with relative ease,but while i'm like this i can't. I am looking forward to the op,but i am impatient and want it done now!! not in three or four weeks. At least it is happening that much i am grateful for. I ahve to have a nuclear x-ray first and then hopefully will get my date.

I commend anyone who can lose weight well done to you for making it. I haven't been idle,i have done washing and put it on the line and i have also done the ironing,though where it keeps coming from i have no idea!! It will get worse soon as son is due home on the 17th of this month. Looking forward to seeing him.

I am sitting here with my legs up and resting. thanks for caring. sylvi.xx

[Hidden]

Poor you Sylvi. Did you watch Horizon the other night about exercise? The gist was that we do a lot for ourselves just by moving about from one side of room to another and walking gently round your lovely garden etc. It doesn't have to be all or nothing or vigorous exercise - just hanging the washing out is good.

I have been incredibly lucky lately to be virtually pain free but today I woke up really stiff and sore all over the place - one of my toes was sore and it kept me awake in the night as well as shoulders. It's only soreness not real pain and luckily I'm really so much fitter than I was so can take it - but it would have brought me down if I'd been off my medication and awaiting an opp in lots of pain as you have so just accept that it's okay to get low sometimes and don't try too hard to fight it.

I'm in the middle of a spring clean before my eldest comes home with his girlfriend for a long weekend tomorrow for his 20th birthday on Saturday. He doesn't have a proper room here anymore here so uses our little spare room office but youngest has kindly agreed to let him and the girlfriend have his small double room - what an enlightened mum I am eh?! So a mix of dread as he and the girlfriend are a bit late night sleep all day types for me and this house is a bit small for 6 people to be honest but it's only until Tuesday so I mustn't be negative. It's going to be great to have him back here for his 20th really.

Hope changing sheets on 3 beds and cleaning 2 bathrooms plus hoovering and hanging washing out doesn't bring on anything unwanted though as fingers are swelling a bit and wrists aching. Oh well I can always try out the Tramadol for the first time if push comes to shove!

Pottering about is great - go with it. TTxx

[sylvi]

Tiloda whatever you do rest after you have finished,or you will be bad and unable to enjoy your sons homecoming or party.

I saw a bit of it on the news and i thought gym membership is a waste of money. I find if i am going to do anything it has to be in the morning as by lunch time i'm out of it as far as works concerned.

I bet you find it hard to think of your son in a relationship,because after all they are still your babies. My comes home this month and i will be glad to see him.

I do potter about the house a bit and get in everyones way. If i start to do anything i get told we will do that.

Now tilda my friend rest now you have done those rooms, ok?

Love sylvi.xx

[Hidden in reply to sylvi]

Thanks Sylvi I went out like a light after dinner and before I went singing! Yes it's weird having son's girlfriend staying. She's terribly thin, very tall and very quiet - the exact opposite of me in fact! Don't let them do everything for you Sylvi it's your house and you must move around a little just to keep the joints from seizing up. Natural that they feel protective over you but you do need to keep moving a bit for your health too. TTx

[Hidden]

I don't think anyone could blame you for being down at the moment Sylvi as you're coping with a lot of pain and worry. I was thinking about PC Rathbone earlier too when I was in my garden thinking how nice it was to feel the sun on my face and see the daffodils blooming. We all have our dark times but we never know what pleasures await us in the coming months or years. I hope your operation brings all you hope for and you get some well deserved relief. As you know I've been trying to drop weight I'll send you a message with a link to the free website I use to watch my calories. If you don't like it at least it's cost you nothing! My husband was suffering terrible back pain before we both lost weight and now he tells me the pain has completely gone. Of course he hasn't got ra to contend with. I'll message you later as just off to the fracture clinic with my son. He fell off his motorbike and has a fractured wrist..today he finds out if they are going to plaster the other one too! It could have been much worse I suppose. x

[sylvi]

At least he is alive and i hope it is not too bad when you get there.xx

[Hidden]

Thanks Sylvi I had a lovely snooze this evening after washing up tea and before going to my choir practice. I don't think the spring clean has done me any harm thank goodness as son arrives on the lunchtime boat - they are being driven home by a friend which makes me nervous as road up at top of Scotland are notoriously hairpin scary.

Feeling extra aware as there's just been a terrible crash up here about 3 days ago killing two women in their early sixties from my home town. They were driving home on Sunday night from the main town playing bingo at the legion when they collided with a car being driven by a young man - probably hairing at break neck speed although it's not really fair to speculate. I know the son of one of the women quite well and it's really devastated the whole small town where I live. Drove home on my own tonight past the site of the crash - lots of flowers - so sad. Sorry to introduce another sad note here when you are talking about PC Rathbone but these things hit small communities like mine so hard. My grandparents died in a car crash when I was 11 (driving down from Scotland on my 11th birthday!) and I get all agitated re loved ones and car journeys even now. At least he won't be able to ride his motorbike again for a while Paula?

Good luck for tomorrow Paula - will be thinking of you tomorrow evening - hope it all goes really well. TTx