Broken

[Rachel43]

I’m having a really bad time. Lost my relationship, massive RA flare, found a lump on my jawline (waiting for urgent appt) lost my mobility car. Loosing all hope.

I go to work, come home, go to bed. What is the point. I’m so sick of struggling.

[Hidden]

Things will get better. Day at a time x

Stress always makes me really poorly, and brings on flares. You’ll get through this.

[Madmusiclover]

Oh sweetheart. If you can get your flare seen to (steroid jab?) that will help a little. It’s good you’ve got an urgent appointment.

All I can say is nothing is forever and things will get better. In the meantime be as kind to yourself as you can. Nice food? Go to the cinema? Ring a friend? Buy a new top? Smell the roses in your garden? Buy a bunch of flowers for yourself? Have a nice coffee in a coffee shop? Just treat yourself with kindness.

It’s OK to feel down; it will pass in time. Keep us updated on how you are getting on.

X

[Fruitandnutcase]

Sometimes life just sucks and that’s how it is for you just now but good times will come again. Your flare will calm down, hopefully your urgent appointment will come through quickly and are you able to appeal the decision on your car?

As Madmusiclover says - be kind to yourself. Have a little treat of some sort every day - it needn’t cost much.

Get yourself a notebook and every night before you go to sleep write down three good things that have happened during the day. Doesn’t need to be big things - like yesterday I turned into my street and could smell the wonderful perfume of the lime trees, not earth shattering but it was unexpected and lovely.

Or you can always come here and share your worries - or call / email the NRAS support line x

[Madmusiclover in reply to Fruitandnutcase]

ooh yes. Forgotten the write 3 things down list. I used to do it every day for years. Might restart.

[Gnarli]

I wish I could reach out and give you a huge hug. This is a totally horrible time for you but, please be assured, things will get better. As mentioned before, NRAS have a wonderful helpline and you could also self-refer to a free mental health site if you feel the need. It's been an awful year for me and mine too so I have a fair idea of how dreadful you must feel.

[SarahW-NRAS Partner NRAS]

Hi Rachel43, so sorry to hear you're having a bad time at the moment. Do please consider calling the Helpline on 0800 298 7650. We will be hear to listen, and support you where we can.

[oldtimer]

Really pleased that you feel you can at least offload onto us! Most of us recognise that awful feeling of everything piling on top of us and just going to bed and weeping. You will come out the other side of all of this.

Gentle hugs!

[Otto11]

So sorry you’re going through such a rough time right now. Everything coming at once & it’s overwhelming you. Life can be very challenging at times for a lot of us. Would it help to see your GP for professional input?Hopefully things will start to improve for you. Sending hugs 🤗

[Gottarelax]

Sometimes life is hard enough without RA making it bigger struggle. We get through because we have no choice but I find talking it through or even just writing it all out helps. If you feel up to using the helpline, I am sure that you will get some support. Could you get a sick note from your doctor to get a little respite from work? Also as someone else suggested, a course of steroids may give you a boost through the worst. xx

[Deeb1764]

I have said these words many a time call NRAS have a rant because talking does help and also remember we are all here in a silent propping you up too, as we get those days and weeks etc.

Finding some joy when life is like this is hard but if you can think of something that makes you feel good that you can do and try to do it. Even a simple coffee at a cafe or park!

Big hugs

[Bootoo]

Never forget your darkest hour is only 60 minutes, that thought got me through a lot of bad times. Sending a gentle hug 🤗 x

[cuppa69]

I'm so sorry to hear that, and can utterly sympathise. I was in a similar situation when I got diagnosed last year. My partner wasn't very sympathetic and was only adding to my distress, so I ended it with her. My son was having behavioural problems at school, which caused my symptoms to flare. I felt very alone and also had to deal with the life changing new diagnosis. Every day felt like a battle, but you just have to hang in there, take it one day at a time, and things will gradually improve. Best of luck x

[Durrell]

Hi Rachel, what a difficult time you are facing at the moment, the treadmill of work, pain, sleeping plus other health concerns. Like many have already said this time will pass & things will look up but it’s really hard for you right now. I hope you get the appointment ASAP, be honest about how your feeling, once you get the treatment you need then you Will hopefully start to pick up, sending you a gentle hug, we’ve many of us been through similar so hang on in there, there’s brighter times to come 🌸🙏🏻

[LesBev]

such a hard place to be, and knowing time heals some things doesn’t help right now. I echo the others advice, get medical help asap with the flare and stress really is a trigger. I too make a to do list on bad days. It gives a sense of achievement at the end of the day. Even write down what you’ve already done that day, made breakfast, whatever, as a long list ticked off looks good.

We’re all here for you and the helpline is there too. Lxx

[WomanOfFaith]

My prayers for you Rachel, everything is going to be ok.

[Sheila_G]

Oh bless you. Please don't despair. There isn't one of us on this site that hasn't been in the depths of despair and there isn't one of us that won't tell you that it doesn't last. I know you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel now but there is one, I promise you. You have too much to deal with at once. Try to deal with one thing at a time. Madmusiclover makes some good points and you should try at least one. You will start to feel better. We are all here to help you so you can post on here whenever you like and we will listen and give you support and encouragement. I hope your appointment comes soon. Lots of love. God bless. xx

[Jackie1947]

Sending virtual hugs as you go through a rough time. Be kind to yourself and you will ride the storm. There are people at the end of a phone to talk too

[Mmrr]

Sometimes life can be hard, but the hard times do pass 💐💐💐

[greynot]

We're all here for you, Rachel.One foot after the other, do what you absolutely must do, remember to eat and sleep.

And, as time goes by, joy will tiptoe back onto your life.

Rant at us...we all have our rough times and at the very least can empathise.

NRAS is a great support.

Sending love and a gentle hug.

[strongmouse]

Rachel that is so tough. The end of a close relationship is massively hard and stresses like that effect us physically. Be gentle with yourself, be kind as you would to a friend talking to you about all this. Know that your self-worth doesn't rely on another person. You are unique, and beautiful. Draw on the inner strength that has bought you this far through adversity. Take one step at a time, and light will again appear.

Sending love and hoping that you feel better soon, and as others have suggested talk to your doctor about the flare.

[Garnacha]

Aaw life sucks at times, I'm so sorry you're going through all this, could you make an appointment with your GP? I had a routine appointment 2 weeks ago and ended up bursting into tears, felt like every step forward it's 2 steps back, he referred me to the mental health nurse who I saw 2 days later, she's prescribed me with anti depressants to help which also treat anxiety, I'll also be seeing her again.

Truthfully I feel embarrassed to have had to see a mental health nurse and only my hubby and 2 close friends know (apart from everyone on here now 😂) Sometimes life gets overwhelming, please try and seek some help, you won't be the first and certainly won't be the last. Big hugs 😘 x