Off topic: My 1st grandchild, Bella May was stillborn... - NRAS

28,997 members34,466 posts

Off topic


My 1st grandchild, Bella May was stillborn today at 36 weeks! Am absolutely devastated! My son and his partner are going through hell. I just need to have a rant, I am constantly crying and saying sorry does not seem enough. I feel sick.

Sorry to leave such a depressing message on here! X

70 Replies

My thought and prayers are with you and your family. Lizzie

Oh Carolsos, I am so sorry to hear that, what a terrible shame. I have never had children but believe me, I can quite understand how you're feeling. My thoughts are with you all at this really sad time. Thinking of you. xx

My dear, what a terrible thing to happen. I'm so sorry. Of course you're in bits, who wouldn't be ? As you say, words can't express the desperate pain you and your family are suffering......I'm so glad that you felt able to share it here.

I can do nothing, but promise you that you and your family are in my thoughts. Take care, love,Mavis xxxx

Dear Carol - Giving you a huge gentle hug .

I am so sorry and utterly saddened to hear of the loss of Bella May and have felt able to reach out and tell us. My heart goes out to you,your son and partner and family. I cannot imagine the immense emotions and distress you must be feeling and dearly hope you have someone who is with you at this utterly heartbreaking time. Please know that I am thinking of you and send you my love and sincere wishes. Don't feel alone and if you need us we will be here. Take care and bless you for sharing this xxx

So sorry to hear your devastating news. My thoughts and prayers are with you. X

So sorry to hear this about your sons baby.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I’m so sorry. We do feel helpless in these situations I’ve been there with more than once when 2 of my friends were in this same situation there is nothing we can do to help them or you .

You are all in my prayers x

So sorry to hear this - such sad news. My heart goes out to you x


I'm so sorry Carolsos. 🙏🏽🌹

How awful - so sorry for you all.

Oh no , that is so so awful for you all.😪 It's so cruel that beautiful baby Bella has been taken from you all so quickly.

Just know we are all here for you and thinking of you . I wish that somehow I could take some of your pain and burden for you.

Sending so much love xxx

I'm so very sorry to hear that your beautiful Bella has been sadly taken from you all, so much hope and anticipation lost so tragically. There are no words to help, no explanation that will take away the pain and distress. There are many here to listen if it helps, rant or weep as you need to, put your questions and despair into words if it helps, we have no answers sadly, but we care.

Sending love and sympathy. Xxxx

So sorry to read this.

So sorry Carolsos. My heart goes out to you and your family. It will be such a shock for you all. All you can do is support each other through the heartache. Xx

Im so sorry to read this very sad news. Understandable you feel as you do. My thoughts are with you. Sending a hug. ❤

I’m so sorry. Thinking of you and your family. X

So sad. Much sympathy for you and your family. We forget these days that childbirth does have dangers so it comes as even more of a shock. Hope your son and partner managed to have a little time with her to say good ye.

I am so sorry for your family trauma and loss. I hope you are not alone.

...and it's not off topic. This is a support forum and you need support.

My sincere condolences x

I'm sorry for your family loss. Its so difficult to know what to say except sorry. x

I’m so sad for you.

You have to cope with your own grief at the loss of Bella May and have to help support your son and his partner.

Take care of yourself as well as your family.please try to eat some thing tonight,even if it’s only some toast.

Thinking of you at this awful time.

What a shock for all of you! Sending hugs... there are no words xx

So sorry to hear this and so very sad for all of you. Sending you all sincere condolences and thinking of you.

Thank you for your lovely kind replies ❤️

happytulip in reply to Carolsos

Carolsos, I am sure that your son and daughter-in-law are getting support from the breavement midwives. But I thought I would mention SANDS. They are a UK based charity that supports people who have lost a child to stillbirth.

I just thought I'd mention them to you if you ever want to look them up.

I hope you don't mind x

Carolsos in reply to happytulip

No I don't mind, thank you X

That is so awful for you all and my heart goes out to you. It's so unfair.

I don't know if this helps at all but if you contact the Facebook group Preemie and Angel Babies UK they may be able to provide suitable gowns, blankets, keepsakes etc.

So, so sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts are with you and your family at this devastating of tines x

Carol, I just had to reply to say how sorry I was to hear about little Bella. I can't imagine what you are all going through right now. Life is simply cruel sometimes.

I wish I could say something that would help but I know nothing can make up for your loss. All I can do is offer my friendship and support, as others have done above, and say if you want to come back and talk anytime, please do.

Big hug 🤗


I am so sorry darling. Nothing i can say will ease your pain. Hugs from me to you and your family and my condolences as well.xxxx

Dear Carolsos

Holding you and your family in my prayers. Sweet Bella May is cradled in God's most loving arms. In the fullness of time, may he take away your pain and devastation.

Blessings. Denmum

So very, very sorry to read such tragic news. It's impossible to imagine what you must be going through, and I sometimes think the helplessness we feel when those we love are hurting, is almost harder to bear than the pain itself. I hope you know that just being there for your son and his partner is all they need right now, and that you in turn have someone to support you too.

My deepest condolences and healing thoughts to you all x

So sorry for your loss you rant away what a hard world we live in at times so harsh so sad 😞 my thoughts go out to you all . Take comfort in each other hugs 🤗 x

My thoughts are with you. So sorry it's so sad 😞 Lina

I am so sorry to hear your sad news my prayers are with the parents and you

How desperately sad, my heart goes out to you all. I'm so sorry. My work is in perinatal health, and birth, and yes this is devastating. It really is hard sometimes to know what to do and say. If I may, can I signpost you as a grandparent to Zoe Clarke-Coates work. This is the charity she runs which is amazing . Her books are the Baby Loss Guide and Saying Goodbye. A close friend said giving her Saying Goodbye was the best thing anybody could have done. The other one is particularly good for close family members to help them feel confident in offering the support parents may need. Wishing you all strength at this very difficult time. x

I’m so so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your son and his partner.

So sorry, I'm sure you will be a good support to your son at this terribly sad time. Very best wishes

So very sorry, thinking of you and your family 🙏

I am so so sorry for you and your family.

Please accept my condolences


So sorry for all off you xx

My heart goes out to you, at this devastating time. Thinking of you

I’ve been in tears reading this. I have been there and know how devastating it is . Your heart is broken twice - for your grandchild and your daughter.

2 of my daughters suffered this -they now have healthy children, but the loss never stops hurting. Be strong - the parents will need all your love

My heart goes out to you💔😓xx

I am so sorry Carol, of course, you must all be devastated. At a time you were expecting to be joyful to have such sorrow, it is just so sad. Beautiful Bella May. Keep as close as you are able, you need one another to help you through this. You keep well too, talk here if it helps, from the replies you know you will be well supported & we will listen if that's all you need but do talk. x

Sending you a big hug 🤗, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


So sorry, you all are in my thoughts, the loss at birth after much expectations is always painful.

I am so sorry. Thinking of you all just now.

I am so sorry for your loss and that of your family. Hopefully you will see a photo of the beautiful baby and can keep that in your memory. xx

I am so very sorry! Life is not fair sometimes. Big hugs to your family.

So sorry to hear this Thinking of you all 😥

So, so sad at such devastating news for all of you. The grieving is so hard to bear when dreams are shattered so close to full-term: your pain is unimaginable. God bless.

There are no words that can express the depth of love and support we all wish to send to you at this awful time. I hope you can feel supported in some way by sharing with us your loss. Sending you hugs and prayers for little Bella May who I’m sure will live on in your hearts forever.💕

I can't begin to express my feelings for you. I lost a baby many years back and it is beyond sad. All I can say is to be there for them and let them know how much you care. When I lost my baby, I felt that no one really understood just how I felt. I was told by several people to forget about it and not talk about it anymore. My mother-in-law said "Oh well, you are lucky because you have lots of things, you have got a dish washer." I wanted to answer that I couldn't cuddle and love a dish washer but I just couldn't speak. I am telling you this, not because I want sympathy but because I know that you won't be like that.

You will never forget this beautiful baby, but maybe in time you will cope with it better and in the meantime, just cry as much as you need to. My baby would have been 33 now, but I have a wonderful son of nearly 32 who wouldn't be here had my first baby lived (because the time span would not be possible). My son is such a blessing and in time your son and daughter in law may well be blessed in the way I was.

God bless you and hold you in his care. xxx

Such beautiful replies! Thank you all ❤️

My heart goes out to you. I am truly sorry. I can't begin to imagine what you are all going through. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. xx

My thoughts are with you all at this heartbreaking time. There are no words. Please, none of you must be afraid of the grief, the tears, the anger. Believe me bottling up your feelings is very unhealthy. Let the tears come, rant as much as you like. I hope each of you have someone who will support you through this. Someone who will not stop the grief but enable you to express it. Much love xxx

I am so very sorry to read this, our 2nd precious Granddaughter Lola Megan was stillborn 13 years ago. It is the most heartbreaking time for you all. No words can express how this feels, my heart goes out to you all. We as a family found help through Sands, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Support. I joined the grandparents forum, where lots of other grandparents help support each other. It helped to be able to talk to people in the same position, where you can talk freely. If you would like to pm me I would be happy to chat to you privately. I don’t know if that is possible on here. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you massive hugs for you all

Oh I’m so sorry x

😢that is devastating for all. So sorry this happened. 💐

Oh gosh, I am so sorry to read this, is so sad. My heart goes out to you and your family. Cry, grieve and rant and let it out. Thinking of you. Xx

I’m so very sorry to hear that Carolsos and I hope you and your family are OK. If you want someone to talk to, send me a PM and we’ll find somewhere you’re comfortable with. I was devastated with a miscarriage at 12 weeks, but that doesn’t compare with your tragedy.

Thoughts and prayers with you and family at this sad time xxx

I’m so sorry, what devastating news. I will pray for our Lord to comfort you.

So sorry to hear your sad news. I lost a baby before birth over 30 years ago and it is something you never forget, even though the intense pain gradually fades. My parents too lost a baby at birth 18 months before I was born and he has always been part of our family. I am thinking of you all.

I am so sorry to hear about Bella May. Words just fail me. Sending much love and thinking of you all. x

So sorry to hear this huney 😢 just to say nothing anyone says can help but please take support in the knowledge that everyone cares, support your family and you will get through this together..... as they say time is a great healer, it will take time to get over this tragic loss, big hugs and sincere thoughts to you and your family 😘

I lost my first born daughter at 8 days old, she is never far from my thoughts and I often wonder what she would’ve been like today... I did go on to have more children a Daughter and Son and now have grandchildren.... you just need to grieve and be there for each other.

Take care



I know words are often inadequate but I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Bella May. She will forever be remembered. Wishing you and your family much love as you navigate through your grief. 💞

So sad you are all in my prayers

My heart breaks for you and your loved ones! To suffer such loss in these already terrible times. Prayers for peace and comfort.

You may also like...