So low

Hi dont know why Im writing today or just wanting to express how Im feeling. I had a terrible night last night and today. Feel like ending it all every day same old go to bed in pain get up in pain. Had enough of life every day the same feel like a prisoner in my own home no money no future no reason to live just want to disapear of this earth. Worked all my life to I took not well and dont get much support when your ill get token benefit money and struggling to pay bills and buy food who would have thought I would be dealt such a rotten hand. Sorry folks just feeling so down .

23 Replies

  • You poor thing, I'm so sorry to read how you're feeling Billypam. I'm tempted to say We've all been there but it sounds as though you have stuff to worry you in every direction. It's enough to have RA without having financial worries. I hope you'll phone the NRAS helpline, I know people have found a lot of understanding and support there. Just being able to vent how you're feeling is a start and regularly telling us here might also help you feel better. I do hope so.

  • Sending big hugs your way. Could you try phoning the NRAS helpline to speak to someone who understands? Don't go through this on your own. I have felt like that in the past, and still get weepy and overwhelmed by it all now. Hopefully this is just one of those days, and things will start to feel a bit brighter for you soon. Take care. x

  • Big gentle hugs darling. I have had spells in the past when i have wished i was dead,but there are people out there who care for you we all do on here. It is good that you have got it out and told us. Now you need to see your gp and get some help from him for this depression darling. xxxxx

  • Yes it's very sad the way your feeling we all feel for you, give the Nras helpline a ring they will help you through this stage and try to keep chin up although I know it's very hard at this time xxx

  • Thanks much appreciated

  • Sending you my love and a gentle hug. Please know that your life has value. The world is a better place with you in it. All of us on this site have moments of despair. If your moment is lasting longer, and you live in the UK, please reach out to the NRAS helpline. If you live in North America please phone the helpline as it is open 24/7 to answer your call.

    You made your first step to being emotionally happy by posting here. Please keep reaching out for help.

  • billlypam, you've streched your hand out & you've made a start in asking for help. As others have mentioned, please call NRAS helpline. Or even try & see your GP. Asking for help, is nothing to be ashamed of.

    Financially, maybe, you could be entitled to more. Could be worth finding out, as not all benefits make it clear, if you're entitled.

    If your in the UK, try CAB, they're always helpful I find.

    Take care.

    Ruth 😊

  • Thanks will look into that

  • Your message tugged at my heart and I want you to know you are not alone. I showed your message to my daughter and said what can I say, she said mum just say what you would say to me. I would say, yes there are going to be challenging days but have faith the good days do shine through. It's the tough moments that define our strength, you got this. There have been times where I couldn't walk, but I can't look down. As mentioned, your Drs, people on this forum are there for you. I sincerely hope you can find the inner strength and the courage to pull through, rooting for you. x

  • Thank you so kind

  • I know how you feel. Nothing but pain and worry morning noon and night. Things will get better and I hope you can start feeling more positive soon .Love and best wishes to you. Kate.

  • Thanks

  • Dear Poor biilypam,

    I felt the same when I was at the peak of my suffering. Do know that this will slowly go off after sometimes you take the DMARDs accordingly. Sending you my greatest hug!

  • Thanks Amy_Lee for your kind words feeling a bit better today

  • Oh I'm so sorry I really understand you. It's a very tough life when we are well. It's 10000x worse when we have pain from disease PLEASE DINT LET THIS DISEASE TAKE OVER. I don't know you but I do know you are a kind, considerate, loving human burnt. If you were not you would not be thinking as you are. Please don't do anything I am here to help and support you through this. Just talk to me or any of the group. I am praying that you start to feel better and your pain lessens. You are a strong person. Never give up.


  • Thanks Rokia much appreciated feel a bit better today thanks again for your kind words

  • Do you know if anyone has hands like mine?

  • I don't even know how to upload a pic does anyone know

  • Sorry just learning how to use phn myself

  • At least it's not me on my own I felt so silly anyway I don't come on so often as I am a carer for my disabled daughter who has multiple conditions including inflammatory arthritis. Then I have a 25yr old autistic son , also my other son has type 1 diabetes and schizophrenia so I'm pretty busy sometimes I don't have time to look after myself . I have rheumatoid arthritis and one kidney I also suffer from frequent UTI's and have a problem with my bladder which I have to have surgery for every 6-9 months so I really would love feedback from everyone but don't have the time I wear leg braces so I can get a few more years out of my knees anyway enough about me how about you?

  • I agree its only when you here other peoples life stories that you then can look at your own and see how fortunate or unfortunate you are and that there is always someone worse of than yourself

  • Hi billypam I am truly glad to hear that you are feeling a little better today. I have just read you first post then went on and saw that you were feeling a little better I am truly happy for you. We all get to that place at times in our life's. Last year I was the illness I had ever been in my life and I thought that I was coming to an end but I thought to myself that I am going to get thought this and I have to a point. So it is really true that there are people worse of than others. Please if you ever feel like that again don't hesitate please let us know and we all will be there for you my friend. Also like all of the others are saying please contact the NRAS and just have a chat to them. You are a wonderful person and always remember that. Take good care of yourself precious. Jan101 🤗😘🤗😘xxx

  • Thank you kind words

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