Anyone see "cant pay we will take it away" last night?

[Leonwp]

Would be interested in anyones comnents that saw this programme last night where the lady with Fibro had a visit from the bailiilffs. There were a few things i observed that quite surprised me. Anyone else see it?

[Hidden]

She has a dog that needs lots of walks !

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Well i have to give the benefit of someone has to give the dog lots of walks, but also came up and down that hallway at a fast rate and manage to turn round twice changing direction rapidly and threw arms, shoulders, wrists, hands and upper torso about continuosly and rpidly with apparent painless ease. Now ok it could have been a "very good day" but it certainly made me wonder quite a bit and i wont even repeat some of the messages i received from people who know me and what i went through and who know how hard i fought to get DLA, ESA when i was declined twice and eventually won at tribunal. Lets just say none of them were very doubtful in their opinion including a retired physio with many years experience.

[Hidden in reply to Leonwp]

I sadly had to rehome my dog as it just was not fair to district its life but it's very happy and wth other dogs now

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Bless you it is so hard to part with a beloved pet, but like a true animal lover you put your animals welfare before your own feelings.

[medway-lady]

No but I used to send them in ! for debt of course.What did they do or not do as CC bailiffs and LA ones have a lot of rights people don't realise.

[MrsBones123]

I have my suspisions about these sort of programmes, with people 'on benefits' etc. Maybe I'm just cynical but they seem to portral people in a bad light, or that leave you with doubts about their truthfulness. Sometimes it's subtle, but casts people in a bad light. I don't know why they allow themselves to be filmed. How it's edited 'slants' the story and probably a lot is left out.

Anyway, that's just my view I wouldn't go on a TV programme to be judged by a nation who didn't hear the full story.

[Leonwp in reply to MrsBones123]

Hi there, I agree with you 100% on that, they were interviewed at the end of their "slot", but it wasnt what was said that concerned me it was the way the woman threw herself arou d in a manner which qujte surprised me.

[medway-lady]

I tend to agree MrsBones123 however some did think that we and the bailiffs were idiots. I've seen people pea picking outside my mums house who had claimed bad back, so bad they needed a wheelchair. It does happen but thank goodness it was rare.People who could not pay as they had to pay for a funeral, trouble was for them we'd kept records her dad had died 3 times in 8 years.

But those few give an impression that damages a whole section of people who really do need help and quite rightly should get it without being made to feel like scroungers. If its true that all claimants are rejected first time around for DLA (or whatever its called now as I'm out of date) then its a criminal to not be able to distinguish between those who should get it at whatever level and those that should not.

I've always wondered why people allow themselves to be filmed but some might see it as an exciting opportunity to be famous for 15 minutes.

[Hidden]

I have a dog. I certainly hope that people don't judge my disability based on that! I was able to do everything for him when I first got him but since I got ill, I've relied on my mum to do a lot of things and a pay an extortionate amount for a dog walker. I made a commitment when I got my dog and I wouldn't give him away. Sometimes he's the only thing that keeps me going.

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Bless you, they are wonderful companions and deserve every bit of our care for the love and dedication they offer us. That wasnt the thing i picked up on and im sure no one would judge you that way, i doubt anyone would judge someone with sught problems for having a labrador.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It's great you have help so you can keep your dog well looked after sadly I could not get the help as I also had to leave my home and pets were not allowed and I live alone

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Im in exactly that position unfortunately, i live in a care facility, miss having a dog sooo much, i try and go to friends once every 10 days or so in my power chair and take their dog out, just seeing him run to his hearts content makes my day special and he always makes me feel he is sonpleased to see me, maybe if we had tails and moveable ears to communicate people could understand each other more and get along better, dogs understand each other perfectly.

[Hidden in reply to Leonwp]

I'm a social worker for adults and visit a lot of care homes. A few of them have a care home dog or cat. I love it.

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately i live in a care facility where they wont allow pets other than small birds or fish, yet we have a sister facility 40 miles away where you can have a small dog, i am quite sevetly disabled and would qualify for a helping dog but im not allowed one here.

[Hidden in reply to Leonwp]

I'm sorry and sad for those who have not been able to keep their pets. I know I am lucky that my mum loves the dog as much as me, otherwise I wouldn't have managed. I feel guilty that I can't walk him but I get all the snuggles, so that makes up for it.

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Awww, u cant beat doggy snuggles!

[Hidden in reply to Leonwp]

It's a shame you can't have a dog. Here in the States, we have groups that bring in "visitor" dogs to keep people company and give them fuzz therapy for a while. Maybe your facility can find a group like that for the residents?

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Very kind of you to consider me, unfortunately the housing group that run the care home wont even allow access to my friend with a registered seeing dog. Im lucky that i have 2 friends with dogs who both love spending time with their "human on wheels" as they seem to think of me, unfortunately im not always feeling well enough to get out. I had a parrot who was like my best friend, he went every where with me even in the shower and during the day if i slept he crawled up my T shirt and sleep flat on my chest, it was a beautiful friendship. Unfortunately i could no longer look after his cage or shop for or cut up his food and had to spend more and more time in bed, so i asked the man who bred him for me to take him back and he now lives in a large aviary with a flock of friends including 2 of his siblings. I was heart broken to part with him as i have never parted with an animal that ive shared my life with. Still miss him every single day but i know i did the best thing for him.

[Hidden in reply to Leonwp]

I feel your pain. My animals have always been my friends and family, no matter what kind. Your little parrot sounds wonderful. Sorry that it is not easier for you to get critter therapy, but I am glad that you have a friend who will share her dogs :-).

[Leonwp in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind thoughts across the miles

[donnabrain]

I saw it and maybe you also noticed that she said that he was making her ill as stress causes her a flare and she would probably be unable to walk for three days

I myself, if suddenly faced with a bailif or unexpected stressfull situation may,with a surge of adrenalin, pace up and down the hall shreiking etc,but would end up in bed shortly after,with it taking mae around a fortnight to fully recover

This illmess can affect us all differently

Also she had a live ibn carer,who maybe walks the dog?

My first impression was how well groomed she was ( I Cant manage that) and house tidy,but then I thought actually,as the other lady is her full time carer she undoubtedly gets all the help she needs

[Leonwp]

All fair points and i was the first to say that about the dog, i accept all of what you say as could be in every case but all the could be s add up to a lot. The friend that is a retired physio said that there was no apparent conflict in movement like someone who through adrenalin or whatever may experience if they suddenly boke through pain barrier and did what they normally do. I also noticed when i played it back that although the "carer" tried to placate the situation she seemed in no wah surprised at her physical actions. The less i have been able to do the more observational i have become and as a habitual people watcher anyway i suggest something is not quite as it seems. I will be the first to admit i could be wrong (i often am) and that is why i asked for anyone elses opinion. I should say i had an adrenalin crisis when i saw someone kicking a small dog, i was infuriated but couldnt get up a kerb in my chair to get to the man, so i tried to stand, i fell straight over!, but the nice part was before anyone could get to help me up 2 other people had a go at the man and to cap it all the little dog came and licked my face!!. They day you are supposed to get older and wiser, well i have it half right ....i get older!

[Silvergilt]

Inhale...exhale. I wasn't going to say anything...but I will.

These shows are designed to make people look like 'scroungers', end of. THere's a wide slew of 'Saints and Scroungers', 'fakers and mick-takers', people who say they can't move much but GASP, they're filmed walking around outside! It's pure poison. Fibro affects people differently - I have it, and I have RA, and now am potentially being diagnosed with something else. I garden a lot, which I can often do without my aids, which I do have, and I 'talk with my hands' as well. I'm also just very used to being in pain and can ignore it.

But thanks to delightful programs like this, I have a neighbour who is convinced I am a fake; here I am, getting all my deliveries, my new 'free car', I don't even need my wheelchair all the time! How very dare I! Sometimes, I'm even glimpsed doing a bit of gardening out front, even though most of my garden is weeds - which is clearly because I'm lazy. Judge, judge, judge, because they see me having a good day, walking to the car and laughing with my boyfriend, so clearly I must be a fake.

No. Stop analysing my life, or anyone else's life, because of something you see a few minutes of. I refuse to perform my disability for anyone so they stop thinking I'm a liar.

I get deliveries because I order everything online as I'm in too much pain to waste time shopping. My 'free car' is for my disabled son and for my wheelchair, on Motability, which I have to bloody pay for.

People are told with fibro to be more active, as they're told it will help the condition. In my case, it didn't help much at all, but I certainly tried. I had a dog too for a while, thinking the exercise would do me good. Of course, the fact I was trying to exercise meant to some people I was a fake. Eventually, the pain was too much, and I had to give the dog back to the breeders. So, the only thing I earned was heartbreak AND a label of being a fake.

The gardening, also, is something I try to do as exercise, but GASP, look, I'm bending down to pick some peas, that must mean I'm perfectly fine (seriously?!). Actually, my garden is filled with ground elder and I can't bend down to get rid of it, I refuse to spray for it, and the weeds are taking over as I've been flared to the moon and back this year. There isn't a gardener anywhere who wants anything to do with ground elder - I've had several; eventually they stop coming round! The neighbours are busybodies who have worked everyone's gardens and the commons to their own standards (even to the point of taking over a portion of my garden years ago and calling it their own). If they want it perfect so much, I've told them they're welcome to work on it!

The wheelchair which I only need for long trips (I can maybe walk for about 50 meters, but that's only through bloodyminded determination and knowing I'll pay for it for ages afterwards), but man, the looks I get when I stand up from the chair...! Sometimes it's so exhausting, I don't bother and force myself to hobble on in my crutches, which is stupid, but once again, judgy looks vs agony. Apparently agony is more acceptable. At least then the pain is etched so clearly on my face people can feel more comfortable about my status. I smile and laugh when I'm in my wheelchair...can you imagine?! If' I'm so happy, then I don't need it! Or something.

Do the best thing you can possibly do when it comes to these programs: switch them off. I and many other people are suffering the consequences of these programs on a daily basis, every time I go out in the public eye, and I've found myself not wanting to go out anymore for fear of who may be watching, who may decide I don't 'look ill enough', who might just want to make a nasty comment or, worst of all, make a call to the DWP and cut off my lifeline just because they think I'm living the life of Riley.

And...inhale. Exhale again. Sorry, but this really strikes a cord with me. We need to stop policing other people's illnesses. Life is difficult enough.

[donnabrain in reply to Silvergilt]

I couldn,t agree more

I have fibro,APS,sjorgrens,RA , OA ,thoracic outlet syndrome and hypersomnolence

I can,and do, go to rock concerts (occasionally) take my grandchilden out for the day etc,but will have to rest the following day,and must prepare for such events by resting the day before.

When flaring I could be on the settee fro days at a time, unwashed,shuffling to kitchen and loo, living on takeaway,and at the end of a flare it takes me weeks to catch up on myself

Even when not flaring,by the end of a day out with grandchildren or a shopping trip, I cant even speak properly,coming out with gobbledegook

I don,t and won,t stop doing things I love, but do limit them to what I can manage

When planning a week, I alternate, so maybe hosp Mon, in Tue, hairdresser Wed, in Thur, in Fri, out with friends or grandchildren Sat, settee all day Sunday,,,,,that would be a "busy week"

I aim for two appts,but can manage three at a puch

the ones I have no contol over,ie hospital,might come on consecutive days,or might be morning appts ( I dont usually manage to leave house till around 3pm)

when this happens it has a knock on effect

I f someone were to upset me in the way the lady in the programme was upset, I would react the same way,but as I was ranting,would feel the exhaustion wash over me , and would know that a couple of settee days were on ther way

[naturagirl]

I totally agree with you Mrs. Bones

. I have the same suspicion when I see that kind of programs. The people who participate in it are either too naive knowing that they cut down the branch they are sitting on, by participating ; or that they are not aware of the end results of the edited program and what exactly it will be used for.

In all areas of life it is not the first time that victims are put in front of the ban-wagon.

Cheers Tess

[MrsBones123]

It's the assumptions viewers are invited to make that are so insidious and poisonous. Also the subtle shift in society over time (I am getting on a bit :-)) from 'don't judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes' or as I would say rather more plainly, what the flip has it got to do with you what your neighbour is doing? Get a life! - to the current attitude which seems to be, spy on your neighbour, judge them on a whim, and tittle-tattle to everyone about your Sherlock Holmes-like 'discoveries'.

Grrr. We must live our lives, however limited they may be. And find what pleasure we can. And laugh in public, and get up out of a wheelchairs and walk around for a bit if we can/want to. Yes we dare!

Thank goodness for off switches.