Feeling guilty not groovy

Feeling guilty not groovy

Been feeling a bit better last couple of weeks but okay I am whacked, exhausted and really don't want to move.

Ok it's probably fatigue as I have been forcing myself to try and get more active such as doing physio in the pool and I'd some yesterday. But I feel so guilty at sitting here watching daytime TV. I should be out working or cleaning the house, but I just can't.

Does anyone else get this guilty feeling, sick of being sick type feeling? How do you motivate yourself to get going when well I just don't want too?

23 Replies

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  • I so get what you are saying. Overtime i have realised my body really dictates my life. It is easy to say that you need a rest & one morning you will get up raring to go, its so horrid to endure. So lots of love & a gentle hug coming to you. Love Alison

  • Definitively!

  • Hi A, After that chest infection I had in Jan it left me so weak and very one paced did not matter what I was doing everything was an effort, And when I became painfree ( touch wood or in Scotland Ma Heid ) it gave me the motive to try and get more agile which I have done just a little bit more than the day before, Go For It A. Matt

  • Hi Alannah

    I had it just now! I've just finished watching Line of Duty on iplayer and thought ''I really must get up and do something about all this washing but I'll just check HU first''

    I don't know about you but I find it hard to motivate myself when the weather is so lousy. I did manage to get out with the dog today though and his needs are a good motivator but as for doing stuff around the house after the walk - forget it.

    Am I being lazy? Should I really push myself more or it is better to rest when you need to rest. Sometimes I find it hard to tell.

    How are you finding the pool exercise? I really must get back into it again. I love the feeling of weightlessness but it is surprisingly tiring.

    Take care

    Judy x

  • Don't feel guilty Allanah - you deserve every pain free moment. This disease gets to us psychologically as well as physically - so the fear of the pain returning with a vengeance is with us all the time even when we are relatively well - maybe more so - like being in a bad thriller (is it lurking there just behind the curtains maybe?) the suspense of if or when it will suddenly come back is always present I find. After all it's just human to try and prepare and adjust ourselves for it's return rather than enjoying the moment as we know we should.

    Just try and see this relatively pain free time like a very well-deserved holiday. I don't know about you but I know when I'm on holiday that cleaning is kept to a minimum - and lounging around doing exactly what I feel like doing is my no.1 priority. Unfortunately I don't get holidays very often, but fortunately I'm mostly very well these days so I have to snap myself out of holiday mode and face the drudgery of housework and self-employment again. X

  • Thank you all so much . Rested as was just exhausted but got going and cleaned one small bathroom cabinet but tired me so I realised it's a rest day, hubby sorted tea xxxx

  • I made an effort to clean the bathroom yesterday. The sink and toilet got done, but the bath hasn't yet. I am constantly tired despite sleeping.xx

  • Hi A :-) never feel guilty...feet up rest when you need to...try not to over do it when you have a little energy...I sometimes get fed up with the feeling fatigue days..I feel sorry for myself somedays. As we all know never two days are the same...and oh my moods..I'm either high as a kite...or down in the dumps...I can never find a balance...but I never feel guilty...as having this ongoing disease , we have a lot to deal with and when the pain /flare strikes we don't have a choice.....sending you big hugs xxxx

  • I've slowly realised that when my body says enough, then I have to listen, and rest. Doesn't stop me feeling guilty though!!! But that's just something else this rotten disease does to you! You need to give in gracefully!!! M x

  • Allanah, i so know what your saying my darling. I am sitting here all day everyday at the moment not having the energy to move and boy do i feel guilty. My hubby is 70yrs and he is looking after me,to my mind that is not right. I always thought that i would be the one looking after me not the other way round. There is a 12yr age difference between us,hence why i thought i would be looking after him. As to how to motivate yourself when you find out let me know lease.xxxx

  • Now listen here missus, banish "must", "should" and "ought"from your vocabulary straight away. You've just had a op for goodness sake! It's human nature to notice everything that needs doing that you can't manage when you're feeling poorly rather than focusing on what you've accomplished. It'll all be there tomorrow and you'll manage much more if you're rested. Now repeat after me - life's too short for housework. xxx

  • Life's too short for housework!

    Thanks everyone, am abscess has developed on my tummy so feeling yucky and tired. Just seen my diabetic doc who said everything is fine but this is my fourth since I came off Humira.

    Now I am just gonna take it easy, thanks for the comments x

  • Hello Allanah, I so recognise everything you are saying. Like you I have been feeling so tired and absolute rubbish really. I too watch a lot of daytime TV, but then my husband is very static spending much of the days in his rise/recliner so it's easy just to sit with him. I feel sure the weather and time of the year has got a lot to do with it.

    But, when I do feel good I feel I could conquer the world and sometimes use up every scrap of energy. That just starts the tiredness and lethargy in motion once again, so I'm trying hard to pace myself. I'm nearly 67, so that's got something to do with it and I do care for my dear sick husband, the rest of my tiredness is the RA no doubt. But oh how irritating it all is. Come on summer and sunshine, we all need you so badly :-(

  • Oh yes. Very familiar! I had been managing to go to the gym twice a week, (moderate exercise) but haven't been able to for over 2 months. Tried last Monday but not for the whole routine. Am going to try again next week. I live on my own and work full time and often the housework goes first. I look at my house and feel ashamed but I can't do anything and the grotty weather doesn't help! I know that guilty feeling only too well!

  • Well I think you are amazing doing all that especially working full time, it's gone on a few days just now though so I hope this fatigue settles quickly. Hugs to you and thanks everyone x

  • Aww poor you , it's awful feeling so tired all the time , I've come to realise you just have to do a little bit at a time , takes all day but do 5 - 10 mins then have a rest . My husband took me away for valentines 2 day hotel break and I didn't have the heart to tell him I really haven't got the energy for this the 5 hr car journey was agony . All I wanted to do was go to our room and lay on the bed . It's so sad what's happened to my life I use to have . You've been through so much recently with your op etc . You really shouldn't beat yourself up my love , just do what you feel you need to do . Hopefully the spring / summer will arrive soon and cheer us a little . At least sit out in the sunshine x x take care

  • Decided I need a holiday!! From doing nothing but doing it in the in. Looking through brochures now, my word how the prices have risen this year!

  • I am new but the fatigue is hard. I stayed up 13 hrs sat and yesterday managed 3 awake hours and today am just entering my fifth hourawake but typing from bed...I am lucky that my hubby and boys dont care what house is like thank god and I am learning to stop beating myself up.. hoping it will get better in tiime hope yours does too xx

  • You have a great attitude , I think I have just found out what was wrong, knees and wrists now swollen, diabetes spiking very high so am getting treatment now and having to stop carbs . Hoping this will help the tiredness xxxxx

  • Hi Allanah.. sorry to hear you are still unwell. I know how hard it is to climb back up post op and with diabetes, the high sugars seem to make us susceptible to every bug out there.

    Good luck with lowering the carbs, I am on 30-50g a day but some days I fail miserably :( I hope your health improves with that holiday :)

  • Real hard I have found, thanks for the support xx

  • How are you feeling now?i saw you went out last night :) love your attitude, I wallow in self pity when I,m not well! Xxx.

  • I find it a great distraction from pain. But some days I just wallow in a heap in bed! And feel sorry for little ole me! However the steroid injection I got on Thursday is kicking in well and it was a charity thing where everyone was sat around tables and Thad band were on, they were ok, needed a good backing singer really, that would have been my dream job! Actually think I will start a blog on that !!! Thanks for asking bout me xxxx

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