Well it's 3 weeks since I resumed my quit and apart from a few short lived but scary massive urges to smoke I have to say that I think I'm doing okay, especially after today when I had quite an unpleasant experience .
I was walking my little westie puppy along the beach when we got caught in one of those torrential downpours that appear from nowhere so we dashed onto the promenade and in to one of the shelters there as fast as possible to escape.
There was a family at the other end of the shelter. Looked like a grandma, her son and two grandchildren aged about 5 and 7. Before I had time to put my little dog back on her lead she waddled up to them wagging her tail and not looking at all intimidating. The grandma shrieked at her to "Get away" and the son/father actually kicked her away - not a massive kick but enough to make her run straight back to me.
I know people have to be careful with strange dogs but this was a bit unnecessary by anyone's standards and I was shocked.
I put her back on her lead, sat for a few minutes til the rain stopped and counted to 10.
I decided to say nothing but as I walked past them the father made a comment "F**king dogs, I hate them" to which I replied politely that I was sorry she'd made a nuisance of herself, that I should have had her on the lead but that there was no need whatsoever to kick her as she wasn't being in any way aggressive. He just told me to "F**k off" so I did, but with a parting shot of "Well that's the second example of bad behaviour you've shown your children this afternoon". He didn't reply to that.
I was shaking inside as I walked away because I really hate any kind of confrontation. I know I shouldn't have allowed the dog to approach them but it was just one of those things that happen and I can honestly say that she was the complete opposite of a dangerous dog. I only have myself to blame I know.
What did surprise me was their reaction especially as they looked so respectable. Just goes to show that you never can tell.
I'm waffling on but what I really want to say is that at that moment (apart from wishing the ground would just swallow me up) I could have died for a cigarette more than anything. By the time I'd walked the 5 minutes it takes to get home the craving had passed even though I was still feeling upset.
So, today I've learned 2 things:
1 To keep my dog away from strangers - which is going to be really hard because she's so friendly and most people want to make a fuss of her
and most importantly
2 That I really don't need to smoke whatever happens or how I'm feeling.
You live and learn.............. and believe me I'm learning fast.