3 weeks back in and reflecting

[Linda545]

Well it's 3 weeks since I resumed my quit and apart from a few short lived but scary massive urges to smoke I have to say that I think I'm doing okay, especially after today when I had quite an unpleasant experience .

I was walking my little westie puppy along the beach when we got caught in one of those torrential downpours that appear from nowhere so we dashed onto the promenade and in to one of the shelters there as fast as possible to escape.

There was a family at the other end of the shelter. Looked like a grandma, her son and two grandchildren aged about 5 and 7. Before I had time to put my little dog back on her lead she waddled up to them wagging her tail and not looking at all intimidating. The grandma shrieked at her to "Get away" and the son/father actually kicked her away - not a massive kick but enough to make her run straight back to me.

I know people have to be careful with strange dogs but this was a bit unnecessary by anyone's standards and I was shocked.

I put her back on her lead, sat for a few minutes til the rain stopped and counted to 10.

I decided to say nothing but as I walked past them the father made a comment "F**king dogs, I hate them" to which I replied politely that I was sorry she'd made a nuisance of herself, that I should have had her on the lead but that there was no need whatsoever to kick her as she wasn't being in any way aggressive. He just told me to "F**k off" so I did, but with a parting shot of "Well that's the second example of bad behaviour you've shown your children this afternoon". He didn't reply to that.

I was shaking inside as I walked away because I really hate any kind of confrontation. I know I shouldn't have allowed the dog to approach them but it was just one of those things that happen and I can honestly say that she was the complete opposite of a dangerous dog. I only have myself to blame I know.

What did surprise me was their reaction especially as they looked so respectable. Just goes to show that you never can tell.

I'm waffling on but what I really want to say is that at that moment (apart from wishing the ground would just swallow me up) I could have died for a cigarette more than anything. By the time I'd walked the 5 minutes it takes to get home the craving had passed even though I was still feeling upset.

So, today I've learned 2 things:

1 To keep my dog away from strangers - which is going to be really hard because she's so friendly and most people want to make a fuss of her

and most importantly

2 That I really don't need to smoke whatever happens or how I'm feeling.

You live and learn.............. and believe me I'm learning fast.

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Hey Linda, great update and well done. I am very surprised the reaction your little fury friend got, people are strange, honestly, you done anything wrong, bet yer man knows did though!

You are winning and done very well today, every day is a school day and one day at a time, keep it up!

[Linda545 in reply to RoisinO1]

Thanks Roisin.

I hold my hands up though - people do have to be wary of strange dogs and owners like me need to be more responsible. But honestly, this little puppy is the softest and friendliest of dogs and anyone could see from her demeanour that she posed no threat at all. I'm not one of those obsessed dog owners by the way who think dogs come before children or people but that man was so horrible and there was no excuse at all for him to kick her or his foul language to me.

As I was walking away a couple approached me and said that they'd seen what had happened and the way the man had spoken to me. They said they were ready to intervene if necessary but that I had shown considerable restraint and handled a difficult situation well.

I think that just made me feel worse but I thanked them for their kindness and beat a hasty retreat back to the safety of my house. I like to think I'm not scared of anything and that I can handle myself in any situation (apart from quitting of course lol) but I was upset this afternoon. It came out of the blue and it gave me a shock.

Glad to say I didn't go to the nearest shop for a cigarette and that I've realised I don't need them. Just read Bigrin's post about 'tools' for nasty moments and he's right.

I know I'll be keeping my guard up for as long as it takes, probably forever in my case. I just know I don't want to smoke anymore.

I managed 10 months and who would have thought I'd fail after that long -but I managed it and you know what - it did me no good at all, just the opposite in fact!

If that hasn't taught me anything then nothing will.

My goal for now is to get to Christmas (sorry for mentioning it) smokefree. I'll set my next goal after that.

Thanks for listening to all the delirous rubbish I put down on here and most of all thanks for being here.

I hope you have a wonderful time on holiday by the way. x

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

Linda.. glad you are doing well and three weeks smoke free is excellent...We will always be confronted and I thought at that time it is the wrath of the nicodemon upon me...He knew he was losing me ...Because you are winning the attacks on your freedom will become stronger... Surely you are going to have a smoke free Christmas... Strongs !!

[Iainm342 1000 Days Smoke Free]

Nice one Linda! Life goes on, as they say......I am a Hotel Manager and trust me when I say if I can get to nearly 3 months - anyone can!

[mushen Valued Contributor]

Good grief - that is just horrible. I do think that some people are just plain spiteful and their behaviour was completely uncalled for; it says a great deal about the type of people they were.

Well done for holding your nerve and also for not smoking. I can imagine how upsetting this must have been.

You did good! Go girl!

[Nozmo Valued Contributor]

There are some real brave charmers out there aren't there?! I wonder if he would have behaved in the same way if it was a bloke with a German Shepherd? Where was this, Tynemouth?

I had a similar encounter a few months ago with an idiot in Sunderland so I know exactly how you feel Linda. It's not pleasant at all but you've resisted smoking so some good has come of it.

[Eire_Cailin75 6 Months Smoke Free]

Well done Linda!

[grandad Post of the Week]

I bet the Dad smoked.

Well done you.

[mmaya 3 Years Smoke Free]

Linda my old friend, I only saw your post now, I haven't been here much and I hardly read the posts anymore so I actually missed your post.

I'm happy to see you've returned your quit, remember what you've told me in the past, in a year's time it won't matter if you've smoked for a month, what matters is that you will no longer be a smoker 😀

I missed you around here 💗

Stay strong xxx

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Hey Linda545 , how are you keeping?