Why do we fail?

[Hercu]

I failed to catch Lobster but I have put lobster on the table....!!

OK on a more serious thought.....When we fail it will most likely hurt. Sometimes a bit. Sometimes a lot. All our hopes are crushed one way or another and we were left wondering why?...... Yes, sure, many people say failure is good for you because you learn from it – but what if we never learn from our mistakes?

After failure...? First of all don’t make it personal....Simply be yourself, follow a plan and keep moving. Remember not to do things to please people.... Respect yourself and people will respect you...If you don’t know ask and listen.. You cannot change the past, but you can shape your future.

Then last but maybe the most important which I as a farmer has learned is to never expect a harvest if you have not planted....In short, do not strive for success without hard work...

To all our dear friends who have had their dreams crushed for a while.. I am the first to admit that to quit smoking is not easy but possible and the reward is so huge and so worth it !!!!

Stay strong and we will always be there for you !!!!

[mushen Valued Contributor]

Excellent post for boosting my motivation levels. Especially the part about the harvest. Thank you.

[Hercu Valued Contributor in reply to mushen]

Mushen..Thank you and yes I hoped something made sense because we all experience a "crushed hope" different... Stay strong and I am telling you that I thank our Creator every morning for helping me through this "hell" and for helping and allowing me to get rid of this terrible addiction !!

[Hidden]

Good post Hercu - never expect a harvest if you have not planted - very true.

I would just like to add, that the only reason anyone relapses is because they still believe the cigarette has something to offer.

I'm gonna use a generic "we" here. We believe the cigarette helps us to concentrate, relieves stress, helps us relax, helps us be more social etc. These are all lies - whether you want to believe that or not. The biggest lie is that we enjoyed smoking and without it our lives are some how less enjoyable. We "romance the cigarette" remembering that "good cigarette" whilst sat on a balcony on holiday forgetting that it was the occasion that was enjoyable, not the cigarette.

If you read up on nicotine and cigarette addiction and really see how they take over our brain's systems - including the pleasure response system dopamine - you will see smoking for what it really is. A big con that we have been brainwashed into believing. This whyquit.com/ffn.pdf is a free ebook called Freedom from nicotine. It's a really good read and explains it all beautifully.

When you understand and believe that smoking has nothing to offer, there is no reason to go back to smoking, no reason to relapse. If you continue to believe the lies about cigarettes, your quit will always be in trouble because you will always be mourning its loss. You could be a couple of years quit, and still relapse because you still believe in the cigarette.

One last thing - the only REAL thing smoking did for me was to mask symptoms of an illness I've had for around 20 years. For years I've known something was wrong but have only just now had a diagnosis, now that all my symptoms have emerged. It's not a life threatening illness but it is life changing. It can't be cured but it can be 'managed'. I'm now on medication which is starting to do its thing.

I'm so thankful that I finally saw the truth about cigarettes and was able to quit and more importantly be HAPPY in my quit. Without the truth I would still be struggling to quit or would have given up completely.

[Hercu Valued Contributor in reply to Hidden]

Miscy...Excellent Post..... how many times did I mention that it is very hard to forgive myself because I have put my body and brain through so much unnecessary battering and suffering for that false euphoria...The stupidity to make myself weak.. ( I have represented South Africa in Basketball and captained the Protea/ Springbok team for 8 years..Played Belguim/ France/Holland and Germany I have played the sport for 25 years on provincial level) and then to be diagnosed with COPD self inflicted... Horrible. !!

But I am back on track and so thankfull that I could quit and kind of forget that I ever smoked. Seriously enjoying my new found freedom tremendously !!!

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free in reply to Hidden]

Great post Hidden especially

"We believe the cigarette helps us to concentrate, relieves stress, helps us relax, helps us be more social etc. These are all lies - whether you want to believe that or not. The biggest lie is that we enjoyed smoking and without it our lives are some how less enjoyable. We "romance the cigarette" remembering that "good cigarette" whilst sat on a balcony on holiday forgetting that it was the occasion that was enjoyable, not the cigarette".

I was brainwashed by Mr Nico for 20 odd years believing this. Thanks for sharing....

[Eire_Cailin75 6 Months Smoke Free in reply to RoisinO1]

Oh my Hidden , great post, me too brainwashed into believing this for so long. Not anymore

[mushen Valued Contributor]

Do you know I have only just realised your lobster is made out of carrots!! Hahaha - love it!

[Hercu Valued Contributor in reply to mushen]

Just to show... If you want something you will have it...!!! (Hell or High water)

[Nozmo Valued Contributor]

Great advice there hercu. I like this post and especially like the veggie lobster! Did you make it yourself?

[Hercu Valued Contributor in reply to Nozmo]

Nozmo..Thank you..Nope...My gifted wife made it to make me feel better whilst suffering a serious attack of cabin fever.. ! ( I need Vitamin SEA !!!) Due to half year reports and planning the next 5 years taking the drought in consideration I was stuck at home...!! (With a mountain of stress)

[Nozmo Valued Contributor in reply to Hercu]

She is gifted - I'm very impressed!

[Tracey3 1 Year Smoke Free]

What a great post, I live your lobster, brought a big smile to my face.