Following in my pa's footsteps: Today, I went... - No Smoking Day

No Smoking Day

5,213 members32,485 posts

Following in my pa's footsteps

Incy_Wincy profile image
9 Replies

Today, I went to my Dad's allotment, which I'm taking on now that he's gone. I wasn't sure about this, because I'm really busy, but...it seemed like the right thing to do, and my partner was keen to get involved...so, off we went.

I used to keep the plot next door to his, before life got in the way and I didn't have time for it any more. I used to love spending time down there with him, not talking much, listening to the radio, leaning on our hoes for a consultation on the best way to net peas or whatever...I probably saw more of him in those few years than the rest of my adult life.

It was lovely today, he'd kept the plot really well, we just had a bit of hoeing and edging before we started planting. I kept stopping, looking up at the plain and thinking of all the hours he spent up there, all the things I learned from him about gardening, how much he loved it there. It was a beautiful day, a bit sad, but also nice to be reminded of him. (And now I've got Food. Growing. How cool is that?)

I wanted to stop smoking for so many years, for so many really good reasons. But it was watching Dad in his last few weeks being battered by cancers that really made me realise this had to be done. I'm glad I took on his plot. I'm so glad he helped me learn how to grow things.

Maybe I can grow the ingredients for my sandwich bar... (thanks for that inspirational idea Dippy Egg, THAT's what I want to do when I grow up!)

PS I wanted to post this in 'General' but I don't seem to be able to create a post in there - is it just me?

Written by
Incy_Wincy profile image
Incy_Wincy
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
9 Replies

What lovely memories. :) x

How lovely, I so miss my allotment, when I moved I had to give it up. It's a community all of it's own , with a wealth of knowledge, infact i,m moving again, the criteria, had to be a south or west raceing garden, just so can have a veg plot,

I hope you enjoy, with all those lovely memories, from your dad

That's a lovely memory Incy, on so many levels. Taking on the gardening you'll create your very own memorial allotment. When I visit my mother I have to go into my father's workshop on occasion, something I really didn't like doing; it was so much of him. But now I'm feeling that I'd like to preserve it, not sell the machinery etc. We can't keep though, really not practical.

Enjoy the peace and the memories.

Incy_Wincy profile image
Incy_Wincy

Walkabout - I know exactly what you mean - I don't really like going into 'his' room at my mum's house, it seems wrong doesn't it, that they're not there in their usual space any more? I must admit, when I went into the allotment shed and saw his stuff on the bench - particularly the sun-cream and hand sanitizer for some reason - it choked me up a bit, but it's really rather soothing to be there, once I got over that. Onwards and upwards. xx

Yes, absolutely Incy. It does seem amiss, an intrusion, but also upsetting, although now, three months later, I'm beginning to accustom myself to going in there and feeling okay, proud even. The very personalised things, like the sun-cream you mention are difficult, but my mother sort of threw me in at the deep end with that. I was helping her in the garden and she insisted I wore my father's gardening shoes rather than dirty my trainers. All rather Freudian, but I did it. Hmmm.

Incy_Wincy profile image
Incy_Wincy in reply to nsd_user663_58050

Mums are great aren't they - mine has given me Dad's wellies (several sizes too big!).

I was back on the allotment today, it already seems less odd.

nsd_user663_58050 profile image
nsd_user663_58050 in reply to nsd_user663_58050

Yes, certainly practical. But I'm taking it as dealing with their own grief as well.

Lovely post

Incy_Wincy profile image
Incy_Wincy in reply to nsd_user663_63632

Thanks Brian

You may also like...

Starting my 12th month!

LOT, hopelessly addicted while watching my lovely dad lose his brief fight with cancer - terrible....

Another reason to hate what smoking does

down to the fact that my dad was a smoker until when he lost his leg. My dad is such a brave...

FFS my boyfriend is a ******* ****

because of this that and another, he's made me want to cave his face in, it's done my head in so...

My quiting history in one thread

I don't know how this will help but I'm sure it may help someone. I am listing all my posts on this...

My boyfriend is trying to give up smoking

seem him like that ever!) However I am so proud of what he is doing that I would put up with him...