Interesting email from my brother...

I sent my brother an email yesterday and among other things told him I'd quit smoking. I thought his response was really interesting, so I'm going to quote him here:

So you quit smoking! Good for you. Since I used to be a smoker I completely understand how difficult it is to quit. Probably the toughest thing I've ever done. September 8th this year at 2:55PM will be 9 years since I quit. And in that time I have had not one cigarette. Not even one puff.

Do I miss it - yes I still do.

Will I ever start again - I sure hope not - it was just too hard to quit.

Does it bother me if other people smoke - no, not really. Jackie (his wife) still does but she probably only smokes about 5 a night when we sit around and have some wine.

Do I feel better since I quit - not really!

What have I done with all the money I've saved - the first year I bought the chrome rims and large tires for my truck. Since then, the saved money has gone to pay other things.

Keep up the good work.

I found his comments about missing it and not feeling better a little hard to swallow. Your thoughts?

[nsd_user663_1655]

A bit scary to think 9 years down the road I will not be feeling better. I may think of smoking as a lost friend still, but I know some long time quitters, most say they still remember smoking, still randomly think of it, but life has changed completely. Passing thoughts aren't cravings, and of all the long time quitters I have met, none think it better to go back to it. I had quit for almost three years before the year and a half smoking before this quit, and my yearly bronchitis went away (came back this year though as I was smoking), I was running for about a year or so at least 8-9 km per day, I could taste better, and gained weight, tis why the running stopped.., smells were more vibrant, and I had way better endurance. My skin was cleaner, I smelt better, and had no issues, other than losing site of why I quit in the first place. I am sticking with the belief that it gets better, becomes a passing thought, and will eventually be the old me that I am happy to be rid of. Yer doing good! Remember that he never started up again during those 9 years, so somethings better now.

Vike

[nsd_user663_44684]

I think it also depends on how old your brother is... If he hadn't been smoking for over 15 years I doubt he would feel any different but when you've smoked for over 30 years you can tell the difference after a week!!

Good luck with stopping for good

Denise.

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I think it also depends on how old your brother is... If he hadn't been smoking for over 15 years I doubt he would feel any different but when you've smoked for over 30 years you can tell the difference after a week!!

Good luck with stopping for good

Denise.

My brother is 67 years old, and he smoked from the time he was about 17 until 9 years ago, at about age 58. (I'm 61, or, more accurately, forty twenty-one.)

I'm just a little shaken that he'd still miss it, and not feel any different, after being off cigarettes for nine years. I don't think he has strong cravings, but still - it makes me wonder.

I'll follow up with him and see what he really means by those two statements. They're not exactly inspiring! :confused:

[nsd_user663_4121]

Don't be discouraged DGee, considering he hasn't smoked for 9 years, he can't be missing it too much! I kinda miss this dog I once had... she was funny but sadly not so bright, she peed on my floor, chewed up my stuff, barked way too much.... I miss her but boy I don't miss having her around Trust me, with the right attitude and true understanding of nicotine addiction, give it a year and you'll stop thinking of them.... maybe a passing thought but that's about it. Just always remember and appreciate what you are gaining and you'll be just fine!

[nsd_user663_44684]

My brother is 67 years old, and he smoked from the time he was about 17 until 9 years ago, at about age 58. (I'm 61, or, more accurately, forty twenty-one.)

I'm just a little shaken that he'd still miss it, and not feel any different, after being off cigarettes for nine years. I don't think he has strong cravings, but still - it makes me wonder.

I'll follow up with him and see what he really means by those two statements. They're not exactly inspiring! :confused:

Very strange then, you're right the two statements aren't inspiring at all :confused:

Oh well you keep you going, haha at forty twenty-one that means i'm twenty twenty seven

Denise.

[nsd_user663_20558]

Not inspiring, I agree. A tad insensitive even.

I'm not nine years quit. But at a year plus it's fair to say that the thought of smoking still comes into my head, and with it a sense of lingering nostalgia. I don't really miss it, per se, because really and rationally, what's to miss? But I have associations with it connected to youthful happy times. Sat in a sunny pub garden with a beer those subconscious associations kick in and I admit part of me thinks 'it would be nice to smoke now'.

But - and this is the important thing - that thought causes me no actual pain or physical craving, and I highly doubt your brother suffers in any way when he has those moments of 'missing' it. That's difficult to imagine when you are in the early stages of a quit and missing smoking is a much more visceral experience. But really, it's not the same.

Also, rationally, I know perfectly well that it is a false memory. Nothing about it would be good - that one cig for old times sake comes with all the other thousands I wouldn't want at all. It's a no brainer.

(I imagine that nine years down the line, I might look back and associate smoking with being nine years younger, and that in itself would be something to miss, so perhaps that's it!)

If he really missed it that much, man, he'd have smoked again by now.

Keep going, and don't let the nay sayers grind you down.

H x

[nsd_user663_24115]

I know loads of people whove been quit for years and still say there are times when they could murder a cigarette. but resistance is easy. iv only been quit 5 months and still have moments where the thought of one seems like a good idea(i once shot someone for saying that). like Helen says its more visceral than athought , for me its like my default setting and i start to make the actions of aiming towards a cigarette, especially after just completing a task. once i become aware of it the thinking kicks in and thats when i can rationalize it and counter it. when i was a smoker id have just rolled one and smoked it without thinking. my automatic pilot was in full command and would have fought tooth andf nail to disobey the thought of saying no. Now its all reversing i do very little on auto pilot and am very mindful and conscious of eveything i do, and i have lots of time to do that now that im not smoking. I still say its like being a stranger in paradise. smoking seems like it would bring back a familiarity.. but somehow i think its a trojan horse.

Mashx

[nsd_user663_40748]

Sorry for butting in,i just wanted to get my 2 cents in. I stoped 70 day`s ago and i´ve come to realise that I notice a diferance between craving and the memory of smoking! I remember smoking for eg.when i do something where I used to smoke and now i still do it but just with out smoking , as at the begining when I whanted to smoke it felt like I could chew through a brick wall to have a smoke and now I remember "oh I used to smoke when i did this"and 1 minute later I don`t remember any more.:):) What do you guys think ou feel about it?

[nsd_user663_44157]

I had quit for 12 years before I got sucked in again and in that time I always believed anyone who says they dd'nt feel better were either liars or fools.

( Sorry to insult your brother, I may well be wrong)

Once over the initial period I never missed smoking and rarely thought about it.

I could not believe how much better I felt and do this time also.

All that being said I always knew it would only take one to get back to 20 a day and yes here I am, quitting again. I think its me thats the fool!

[nsd_user663_40564]

I think that we will always miss it in some respect but the health benefits certainly out weigh anything else. Plus we may not spend the money saved on actual items matching the cost but i bet most people lives have had a little financial boost

My grandad is very poor and cant breathe properly due to smoking all his days, he is 80 something and has an oxygen mask, this is through smoking - bet he doesnt crave a cig now....

[austinlegro 11 Years Smoke Free]

I found his comments about missing it and not feeling better a little hard to swallow. Your thoughts?

I was at a Christmas party talking to 2 ex-smokers. One was 20 years clean and knew why he’d smoked, the other was 15 years clean, had had a gut-wrenching quit, still fancied a fag and spent a lot of the time telling us how grateful he was that the smoking ban had reduced his temptations in the pub.

What was obvious was that this chap was basically still a smoker who hadn’t smoked for 15 years and that sadly was how he lived his life.

At the time of the party I was only quit a year but already knew I was a non-smoker but it was disconcerting to be chatting to someone 14 years ahead of me who was in effect struggling.

It hammers it home quite effectively that quitting has naff all to do with money, health, ashtrays and so on but everything to do with getting your head right!

[nsd_user663_45204]

I tend to agree with what the ex smokers had to say. Even when i quit for two years i still wanted a smoke It was more of a case of ....one for old times sake or i won't remember in the morning if i have a couple as i was drunk last night.

The urges are not strong at all and are easily resisted on most occasions.But there are times when your mind tries to convince you that a lot of time has elapsed since you last smoked a cig and you can get away with it here and there.

I don't think you truly ever get over it but it certainly doesn't have a hold over you like before.

[nsd_user663_33441]

I agree with Austin that its all about getting your head right. If I had kept my first quit going I would be celebrating 6 months today, but that quit was always doomed to fail even if it had lasted 10 years because that 'just one' idea was always at the back of my mind, and I hadn't let go of the smokes. That 'just one' led to 3 weeks of smoking before I could quit again. That time I lasted a month and the 'just one' led to spectacular disaster, and its taken me over 2 months to get the real motivation back again. If I cave again it would probably be worse and I might never get the motivation to quit back again, however much I hated smoking. Addiction to nicotine and the smoking habit is just as powerful as any addiction, one hit and ya hooked. I know that now but I had to learn the hard way. And its important when quitting to not feel deprived but to enjoy the freedom from that awful, dangerous trap. Its taken me a long time to get my head round that idea cos I really didn't understand when I first started quitting. So now, for me, quitting is all about learning, which I do by reading and learning from this forum. I made mistakes but I learn from them. And sheesh, I hope this quit sticks this time, but just for now I can sit here with a silly grin on my face, cos just for now I am not craving woooohoooo Feels good.

Erm, sorry to ramble on :o, but you know how it is.

Zoe xx