Quick someone tell me I'm normal!?

Hello everyone!

I am on day 12! :D

However today is not a good day! Nor was yesterday! I am an absolute grouch! Very irritable! Am I craving a cigarette? No, the urge to smoke is not there when I dig deep to try and find what could possibly be bothering me I don't want to smoke. I'm not even craving. It's for sure up there in my mind. but for some strange reason I want one anyway. It's as if it's making itself the only option to make me feel better! Really battling here! I am winning though! Literally crawling to get to the finish line first but winning!

These are known as hell days in my house! Its there every quit and I always end up back on the same day over and over because I caved in my moment of weakness. Like a vicious cycle. It's always the day where I go back! It's the day where I think I need to smoke. I can't do this forever. It's the day where I think there's no hope for me. I'm doomed to be a smoker forever. It's a day where I ask my partner to get me a packet because I'm so ashamed I've failed again. I reason that I will be a nicer person, a better person again and not miserable or moody or snappy if I just have one. I then reason that it will only be one! I'll only buy ten as it's obviously not as bad as 20 and obviously I'm only going to have one and I'd be better off spending 4 pounds instead of 8! .... I sound ridiculous!

It's also a day where I just need to get a grip and put on my big girl pants! Tomorrow is a new day So here I am. got up got into the shower, put on fresh jammas and went back to bed to continue being a moody cow lol! I'm slightly embarrassed I feel this way. I'm slightly embarrassed I'm here ranting about this. At risk of of everyone thinking wow... This kid needs detained lol!

Please tell me everyone has these days where you have to hide before you lose your mind?

4 Replies

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  • Oh Laura, indeed these days are just so horrid but please please be a little selfish, and do what ever it takes to get through today, doesn't matter, in bed, in the bath, chocolate, wine, whatever just don't smoke.

    You can do this you are doing this, this is the quit it will get easier.

    The longer the quit, the weaker the crave.

    Ps, rant all you like just don't smoke

  • Totally normal and yeah really awful. It's just a stage of the quit you have to get through. I went to bed with large bags of dorrittos and dvds.:D

    I was terrified of quitting and that fear often made me lose many a quit. My brain would tell me that I was going to fail at some point so get it over with and smoke now.

    Your brain is screaming to smoke but the scream gets less, honest. You have to promise yourself that this is the last time you'll torture yourself like this. The only reason your brain is screaming is because it's been trained to need nicotine. You just need to give it time to adjust. The only thing you need to do is NOT smoke NOT ONE PUFF EVER and soon your brain will come round.

    Life is so much better without smoking, it truly is like escaping from prison, keep reminding yourself of how disgusting the last few days of smoking truly were. Desperate to stop, hating yourself for having to do it. The smell on your clothes, the cost to your bank account and your health.

    Go to bed, kick walls, throw things, scream, sing, dance, do whatever it takes just don't smoke. It doesn't matter how bad your day is, how little you do, how much you eat, if you get through the day without smoking that is a HUGE tick and everything else is irrelevent.:D

  • Oh poor you :)

    Those first weeks can give such pooh day :)

    And yes it is normal :)

    Not easy but you HAVE to have them :eek:

    They do go away :)

    I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment :)

    You just have to have faith that what we are saying is true:)

    Moping around is what I did. Feeling sorry for myself, bored and fed up. Worrying that I would never feel happy being a non smoker

    I couldn't be happier :)

    You have to put in the time

    You are doing really well :)

    Keep going :)

    Jenny is oh so right, you can do this, you can!

  • Totally normal and yeah really awful. It's just a stage of the quit you have to get through. I went to bed with large bags of dorrittos and dvds.:D

    I was terrified of quitting and that fear often made me lose many a quit. My brain would tell me that I was going to fail at some point so get it over with and smoke now.

    Your brain is screaming to smoke but the scream gets less, honest. You have to promise yourself that this is the last time you'll torture yourself like this. The only reason your brain is screaming is because it's been trained to need nicotine. You just need to give it time to adjust. The only thing you need to do is NOT smoke NOT ONE PUFF EVER and soon your brain will come round.

    Life is so much better without smoking, it truly is like escaping from prison, keep reminding yourself of how disgusting the last few days of smoking truly were. Desperate to stop, hating yourself for having to do it. The smell on your clothes, the cost to your bank account and your health.

    Go to bed, kick walls, throw things, scream, sing, dance, do whatever it takes just don't smoke. It doesn't matter how bad your day is, how little you do, how much you eat, if you get through the day without smoking that is a HUGE tick and everything else is irrelevent.:D

    ^^^^ what Sue said:) hope ur feeling better now Laura, I can truly empathise with you particularly the notion of buying just 10 instead of twenty and "I'll have a couple and throw the rest away" absolute madness when you write it down isn't it? So far in this quit I have been fine but like you I have tried many times before and failed due to the silly notion of it making me a nicer person if I have a fag, what a crock of excrement that is! :D maybe this one is clicking and when you get through this hump I'm sure it will click for you too,chin up babber xxx

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