I am on day 12!
However today is not a good day! Nor was yesterday! I am an absolute grouch! Very irritable! Am I craving a cigarette? No, the urge to smoke is not there when I dig deep to try and find what could possibly be bothering me I don't want to smoke. I'm not even craving. It's for sure up there in my mind. but for some strange reason I want one anyway. It's as if it's making itself the only option to make me feel better! Really battling here! I am winning though! Literally crawling to get to the finish line first but winning!
These are known as hell days in my house! Its there every quit and I always end up back on the same day over and over because I caved in my moment of weakness. Like a vicious cycle. It's always the day where I go back! It's the day where I think I need to smoke. I can't do this forever. It's the day where I think there's no hope for me. I'm doomed to be a smoker forever. It's a day where I ask my partner to get me a packet because I'm so ashamed I've failed again. I reason that I will be a nicer person, a better person again and not miserable or moody or snappy if I just have one. I then reason that it will only be one! I'll only buy ten as it's obviously not as bad as 20 and obviously I'm only going to have one and I'd be better off spending 4 pounds instead of 8! .... I sound ridiculous!
It's also a day where I just need to get a grip and put on my big girl pants! Tomorrow is a new day So here I am. got up got into the shower, put on fresh jammas and went back to bed to continue being a moody cow lol! I'm slightly embarrassed I feel this way. I'm slightly embarrassed I'm here ranting about this. At risk of of everyone thinking wow... This kid needs detained lol!
Please tell me everyone has these days where you have to hide before you lose your mind?