Right now I sit here and there is a lot of different feelings running inside of me. Happiness, eagerness, excitement, all the way down to accomplished.
I know that week one might not sound like a long time to some of you who have stopped smoking for several weeks, to months and all the way to years. But I know you all understand the relevance of this week, the first week without a single puff of a cigarette.
I know a lot of you are most likely expecting me to say that it was hard, that I had to push myself up this hill and over it. But the truth? I have been over smoking for a long time. Cancer is a sickness that runs in my family blood lines and I knew it was only a matter of time when the hand of time turned on me and I would be the one who was being mourned after. I did not want that. Not only for myself but for my entire family.
I have a 6 year old nephew that looks up to me, I have my mother that has been in my corner all the way through this cheering me on even though she lives all the way in Arkansas and myself in California. I am the youngest of the family and I am the only child who smokes and she has always told me that it bugged her. So I am doing this for her. I am doing this for a lot of people, but mostly I am doing this for myself and my health.
So the journey of stopping smoking has been an easy path for me. While yes there have been cravings from the addiction, I have been able to swat them away relatively easily and have not even thought about looking back at a cigarette.
Actually no, that is a lie. I did look back. I looked back last night because I was saving ONE half of a cigarette in the garage on the work bench. I saved it from the day before I started to stop smoking to use as a "fall back" .. I knew I had that one half of a cigarette if the cravings got too bad, I just decided each and every time that it was not the right choice. Cigarette's do not wipe away your daily problems, they don't solve ANYTHING besides letting myself and others down around me.
So yes, I looked back and I walked into the garage last night and I took up that half of the cigarette and I looked at it and thought about all the years I have smoked and all the ill effects that it has caused to my family and to my personal health. So there I was, a day before my week annivsary of not smoking and I was looking my enemy in the "eye" .... I then crushed the half the cigarette in the palm of my hand, i ground up every last bit of it until it was nothing but flakes and shredded paper of its former self. No longer will nicotine be held over my head like a solid weight, no longer will it control me, no longer will the tobacco industry get my money simply to kill me.
I will stop rambling now and simply say...Thank you...For everyone on this board who has stood by my side... I will continue forth on this journey, I have no plans on looking back and I will take each and every one of you on this journey with me.
Everybody who is walking along side me as a ex smoker on this journey, I am here for you. Lets walk this path together and beat this ugly habit one day, one week, one month, to one year at a time.