Destroying what destroys you

Good evening, everyone!

I write on this dreary January evening with a heavy heart, and an occasional pang of apprehension. After many serious (and many half-hearted) attempts at giving up smoking, I feel that I am finally ready to emancipate myself from the terrible mental torture that is addiction.

I have spent many evenings sitting at my kitchen table, sweating like a penguin in the Sahara desert, desperately trying to resist cravings. I have endured the mental anguish; the battle of staring lustfully at a triple chocolate cookie during my quit attempts, weighing up whether it's better to resign myself to a life of possessing a stomach that produces its own gravitational pull, or to give in to the decadence of my addiction.

A turning point for me, funnily enough, came a few days ago. As I sat stroking my cat, it suddenly developed an incessant twitch after biting my finger (having just had a cigarette). I then realised, bemusedly, that when a cat who quite happily licks its derrière following defecation spends a good 60 seconds clawing its tongue after biting your fag-stained finger... Something's surely gotta change.

Regardless of my bizarre rationale, I really do want to quit smoking, for many reasons. I suppose my main reason for posting here is for reassurance; after so many failed attempts, is it not natural to desire that? I pose another burning question before I lay my head upon my pillow and await my nicotine-free fate: how do people cope with the excess 'time' that seems to come with quitting smoking? With the busy lives that everyone leads, time is surely scarce.

So, when smoking is no longer possible, how do people choose to fill that lonely five minutes?

Thanks in advance to anyone who has read my nervy ramblings, and best of luck to anyone else joining me on this escapade! (And good luck to anyone else who is spectacularly struggling to write the date)

Rachael

2 Replies

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  • Hi Rachael.

    I like your nervy ramblings :D

    Quitting comes down to changing your mindset and learning from experiences. Regarding extra time - it's very useful to have.

    Best advice - read the vast information available through this site and research reasons to not give in to the cravings. :)

  • Hi Rachel and Happy New Year :)

    I know exactly what you mean about the 'lonely 5 minutes'. It was something I really struggled with at first and am still struggling with to a certain extent but it has become easier as the weeks have passed.

    I realised that previously I hurried through tasks with a view to having a 'reward' fag when I was done. I've therefore tried to change my behaviour with a view to taking my time (rather than always trying to get ahead of myself) and having a mental list of tasks (or treats- a face pack or a manicure are particularly good ones :)) I can turn to if I find myself at a loose end. It also really helps to change your routine. It doesn't have to be by much, but it breaks the trigger and after a few days the cravings no longer kick in at those times.

    Anyway, I'm sure you'll pick up heaps of other tips and advice from the wonderful people on this forum. I shall look forward to reading how your journey progresses.

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