5+ Weeks and I Chose to Smoke

After 5+ weeks, a miracle for me, I bought a 10-pack today and I'm half way through it. The stench is vile, I have a raging headache and a dry mouth. This lapse was all to do with the psychology of smoking and nothing to do with cravings. Felt I was being held back from promotion at work by sexism (a constant frustration in my workplace) and this was my way of sticking two fingers up at the world. There's got to be something totally stupid and screwed about punishing myself and wanting to be the f**k you rebel again. Think I'll go and mull over that one. Anyone relate?

5 Replies

  • I can certainly relate. Previous attempts - in particular my last big attempt involving Champix - ended up with me smoking just to prove that I could beat Champix!!! How messed up is that?!?

    Anyhow, I hope you can get back on the wagon soon - well done for admitting it


  • Thanks everyone!

    John J, as a follow up, smoked 7, started feeling hot/cold and sick so binned the rest. Hopefully back on track now.

  • Hey Aquarius,

    My previous quit to this one I started again after a couple of months - I don't remember any particular trigger, just more a " cos I can" type attitude = No you can't is what I learnt, not ever NOPE!!!!

    As annoyed at yourself as you are at the moment, you have learnt that they are not the "reward" we see them as and they are actually pretty gross. Well done for binning them, I suspect this lapse will make you more determined. Good luck with it :-)


  • Hi Aquarius

    Im gonna hit 6 weeks this weekend and I had to have a major chat with myself this morning whilst frantically cleaning the bathroom. I was having the old 'one cigarette wouldnt hurt me and I could carry straight back on with my quit' conversations. Im glad I came back on here and read your post. I know I really dont want a smoke but cant seem to let cigarettes go from my mind but youve helped to reinforce that it'll taste and smell s**t!

    Thanks and strap yourself back in for the rest of your quit! ;)

  • Aquarius,

    It's hard to distinguish between the psychology of smoking and cravings, really. Any excuse is good to start up again. The key is resolve, and although it may seem difficult to achieve, if you stick it out long enough and you are really convinced of the benefits of stopping, you will get to a point where you just don't care to smoke any more.

    Still, I get what you mean. Cravings typically occur in the beginning and then it's all up to the psychology.

    Hang in there!


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