A bit frustrated

Don't want to hijack Magicbunny's thread so am going to say this here instead.

Since I quit (15 weeks ago tonight :D ) I've not smoked once - that's fab and am delighted about that, even better is that I don't want to either. This is now the second longest time I've gone without a fag since I stupidly got myself hooked!!

Since I quit I've used:

Patches

Patches with the odd bit of gum

Tried lozenges but they gave me a sore throat

Now e-cig.

But it has started really getting on my wick that despite all that I'm *still* hooked on bloody nicotine :mad:

Much less than before - am using an e-cig that despite being labelled "strong" doesn't have the same effect on me as a fag, and I was smoking lights at the end - and am not using the equivalent of 20-odd a day either!!

Even so, it's irritating me to go through withdrawal, grumpiness and so on every flipping day because of being hooked.

So, I've ordered Allen Carr's book - should be here in a few days - and hopefully that's going to help me get off it!!

It *is* a bit scary for me, I don't have a lot of will-power (hence the e-cig) and really don't want to end up failing - have gone too far for that and am *not* going back to day 1.

Although I don't smoke, and am happy to go the rest of my life without seeing, smelling or touching another fag the thought of not having anything is frightening - and yes I know how pathetic that sounds :rolleyes:

23 Replies

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  • It is frightening

    Hi Gemma lou - yes - it is frightening when you think of never having a cigarette again. I used to tell myself that I'll try going without for 1 year & see how I go. I tricked my addicted brain into believing it was a temporary thing. It did seem to work since by the time I got to 1 year, my sub conscious had caught up & I didn't want a cigarette.

    As far as coming off the nicotine is concerned - lots of water and fruit helped me.

    All the best - you've come such a long way - I know the next stage will work out for you. :)

  • Don't want to hijack Magicbunny's thread so am going to say this here instead.

    Since I quit (15 weeks ago tonight) I've not smoked once - that's fab and am delighted about that, even better is that I don't want to either. This is now the second longest time I've gone without a fag since I stupidly got myself hooked!!

    Since I quit I've used:

    Patches

    Patches with the odd bit of gum

    Tried lozenges but they gave me a sore throat

    Now e-cig.

    But it has started really getting on my wick that despite all that I'm *still* hooked on bloody nicotine :mad:

    Much less than before - am using an e-cig that despite being labelled "strong" doesn't have the same effect on me as a fag, and I was smoking lights at the end - and am not using the equivalent of 20-odd a day either!!

    Even so, it's irritating me to go through withdrawal, grumpiness and so on every flipping day because of being hooked.

    So, I've ordered Allen Carr's book - should be here in a few days - and hopefully that's going to help me get off it!!

    It *is* a bit scary for me, I don't have a lot of will-power (hence the e-cig) and really don't want to end up failing - have gone too far for that and am *not* going back to day 1.

    Although I don't smoke, and am happy to go the rest of my life without seeing, smelling or touching another fag the thought of not having anything is frightening - and yes I know how pathetic that sounds

    Personally, I think it's great that it's getting on your wick (though, I don't want you to suffer :(). Maybe this means that you are ready to try a method that doesn't involve nicotine? And don't be ashamed of being scared. I reckon that, on at least one occasion, all quitters must feel scared of losing the thing that "keeps us going".

    Like you've said to me so many times before, each quit is different and everyone deals with the quit in their own way. The main thing is NOT TO HAVE A CIGARETTE. And you haven't so well done!! :D

    *Please can I hear a YIPPEE?*

    I reckon that you should use the e-cig as much as you need to until the book arrives, read it, then see how you feel afterwards. The book is actually deisgned for those who are still smoking and he encourages the smoker to continue as normal throughout. You have nothing to lose by trying something a little different, but you have everything to gain.

    If the book doesn't have the desired effect, get yourself back on here and maybe we can all throw around some ideas about what the next step should be! :)

    xxx

  • Hiya Gemma-Lou,

    You sound a lot like me when I first quit, I was using patches and each time I tried to cut down or stop using them I found it incredibly difficult and either smoked or put a higher dose nicotine patch on. I just felt miserable using NRT and just felt I would never be rid of nicotine. It was a wonderful member of this forum (Mrs T) which said to me that maybe if it's not working for you then you have to move on and try something different. Sooooo I thought I should try CT. My friend had lent me Allen Carr's book and luckily for me it clicked staright away and I haven't smoked since.

    I think your idea of going CT is a really good one as NRT is doing your nut in. It worked for me and really the idea of CT is much, much worse than the reality. Yeah you get cravings, restlessness, etc but to be honest I had that with NRT anyway so why not just get it out your system and be done with it. I'm not saying CT is the only way to achieve a successful quit but if something ain't working then it's time to look at something else like you're doing. Good luck, post on the forum (I had many rants and hissy fits LOL!), let it all out but you WILL feel great when you've done it and quit for good.

    All the best

    Lisa x

  • Personally, I think it's great that it's getting on your wick (though, I don't want you to suffer :(). Maybe this means that you are ready to try a method that doesn't involve nicotine? And don't be ashamed of being scared. I reckon that, on at least one occasion, all quitters must feel scared of losing the thing that "keeps us going".

    I know what you mean there - and hopefully it does mean I'm ready to move onto the next step, whatever that is!!

    It's so many years of brainwashing myself that smoking makes things better (I know it doesn't) and it's flipping hard to undo!!

    Like you've said to me so many times before, each quit is different and everyone deals with the quit in their own way. The main thing is NOT TO HAVE A CIGARETTE. And you haven't so well done!! :D

    *Please can I hear a YIPPEE?*

    Have always been rubbish at taking my own advice :p

    And thanks, it's great to have stopped smoking and am certain that I'll never have another one so that's definitely a *YIPPEE* moment!!

    I reckon that you should use the e-cig as much as you need to until the book arrives, read it, then see how you feel afterwards. The book is actually deisgned for those who are still smoking and he encourages the smoker to continue as normal throughout. You have nothing to lose by trying something a little different, but you have everything to gain.

    If the book doesn't have the desired effect, get yourself back on here and maybe we can all throw around some ideas about what the next step should be! :)

    xxx

    I read some of it on Amazon's preview thing, ooh 2 years ago now - was seriously beating myself up about my smoking and half-looking to stop - and saw that it's meant to be read by smokers (which I'm not YAY) and that you carry on as normal so for me it'll be the e-cig until it's worked its magic on me. xxx

  • You're bound to be scared sweets, when I had to come off the Champix without titrating down or anything I was TERRIFIED! You just keep doing what you're doing, wait for that book and don't do what so many people do and be scared to read it because you think on page X he'll tell you to stop (which in your case you will take as put down that e-cig) because IT DOESN'T HAPPEN!

    You can do this hon, I know you can, so don't panic and just keep on going, Mr Carr is on his way and I really do think you'll find it helps reprogram your smoker mentality - I'm about to read it all over again and also pick up another couple of books that people have mentioned on here, got to keep adding to the arsenal!

    Thanks Kat, am hoping it's going to sort me out - it's just that smoking for so long, I started again 3 years ago this month, so it's sort of scary to suddenly have nothing, even though the sane bit of me (yes there is one) knows that nicotine is nothing good!!

    Gemma

    I can't tell you how pleased I am to read what you have written there :D

    I have always loved watching your quit,it's been a blaze across the sky,but it was always tainted a bit by the nicotine thing wasnt it.

    You recognise this and it bothers you and that is half the battle-I know you realise that you need to slay that second dragon too.While some people think E cigs n stuff are ok-I do not,sorry that is just me.For me quitting means quitting the whole rotten pile of shite that makes up smoking.Nothing less than that is good enough.

    Gemma love,the book WILL help a lot.it ought to give you the impetus to make the final moves, I have always been convinced that a successful quit depends upon getting your head right,if you always feel needy or feel that you are missing out on something you loved,or need some crutch out of smoking or from a drug then you will never quit in your mind. You HAVE to get the right angle on this.I believe the book is capable of doing this for us-it did it for me.I have quit.I will never smoke again,and I believe that.:cool:

    Thought you'd approve Max!!

    Am planning to be off all kinds of nicotine as soon as possible - just depends how quick (or not) that is.

    On one hand, I know that without the e-cig I'd probably have started smoking real ones again, on the other I'm addicted to it and don't want to be.

    I don't smoke, I won't smoke, now it's tying up the loose ends.

    Hiya Gemma-Lou,

    You sound a lot like me when I first quit, I was using patches and each time I tried to cut down or stop using them I found it incredibly difficult and either smoked or put a higher dose nicotine patch on. I just felt miserable using NRT and just felt I would never be rid of nicotine. It was a wonderful member of this forum (Mrs T) which said to me that maybe if it's not working for you then you have to move on and try something different. Sooooo I thought I should try CT. My friend had lent me Allen Carr's book and luckily for me it clicked staright away and I haven't smoked since.

    I think your idea of going CT is a really good one as NRT is doing your nut in. It worked for me and really the idea of CT is much, much worse than the reality. Yeah you get cravings, restlessness, etc but to be honest I had that with NRT anyway so why not just get it out your system and be done with it. I'm not saying CT is the only way to achieve a successful quit but if something ain't working then it's time to look at something else like you're doing. Good luck, post on the forum (I had many rants and hissy fits LOL!), let it all out but you WILL feel great when you've done it and quit for good.

    All the best

    Lisa x

    Hi Lisa :)

    Thanks for that, it's great to know that someone else has done it this way too and what you said makes a lot of sense!!

  • Staying positive

    Remind yourself of the times I have posted over the last four weeks, in relation to NRT. It has confused me so much!

    I couldn't ever decide if I was cheating, or if this would just lead to worse things. I found it pointless, because I was just using another form to feed my addiction. Finally, at the same time as "that book" landed on my doorstep, I had decided that I wasn't helping myself any more. I was only making my life harder and why would we want to do that out of choice?

    I believe that NRT can work for so many people. Like you said, you couldn't have quit without it and the knowledge that you have something to help can make such a huge difference. But I think that most smokers, determined to stop, would eventually have to realise (just as we have) that they haven't quite finished with the little devil yet. That nicotine replacement can only last so long (unless you decide to rely on it for the rest of your life) and, eventually, your own positive thinking and can do attitude will tie up those loose ends.

    xxx

  • Remind yourself of the times I have posted over the last four weeks, in relation to NRT. It has confused me so much!

    I couldn't ever decide if I was cheating, or if this would just lead to worse things. I found it pointless, because I was just using another form to feed my addiction. Finally, at the same time as "that book" landed on my doorstep, I had decided that I wasn't helping myself any more. I was only making my life harder and why would we want to do that out of choice?

    It is confusing!!

    Half of me is just so pleased to be a non-smoker and this is the first quit I've done that's only been about me, not 'cos I was nagged into it or guilt-tripped into it like my other ones were. That's fab and I'm loving it - especially the little things like being able to wear the skirt I am now without worrying about burning holes through the top layer (I was a bit clumsy) and not getting "wine head" after a few glasses.

    But the other half of me is thinking that while I don't smoke it's only half the battle - I don't care how long it takes me to get off NRT, from my first to last fag including my social smoking time was 15 years so I'm going to have a lot of adjusting to do, but I have to feel I'm getting there - and right now I don't. Also, it does feel sort of cheaty - not good :eek:

    I believe that NRT can work for so many people. Like you said, you couldn't have quit without it and the knowledge that you have something to help can make such a huge difference. But I think that most smokers, determined to stop, would eventually have to realise (just as we have) that they haven't quite finished with the little devil yet. That nicotine replacement can only last so long (unless you decide to rely on it for the rest of your life) and, eventually, your own positive thinking and can do attitude will tie up those loose ends.

    xxx

    It is just tying up the loose ends, hopefully it'll be painless and if not at least i can rant here :p

    I am feeling heaps better now, thank you!! xxx

  • Like we have said before,the main thing is that you dont smoke real fags any more. :D

    That is an AMAZING achievement.Most people who try to quit,fail. You didnt fail-you did it :D Go Gemma Lou!

    The NRT thing will go in the end.You may need to push it,to get rid of it.It might decay over time,there is no urgency to end it but what matters is that you remain immensely proud of having quit real fags,cos we are all immensely proud of you :cool:

    Thanks Max, that's really nice!!

    Have tried to quit before and failed, too many times really, but this *feels* different :D

    Am hoping that between the book, this place and getting weaker ends for my e-cig it will go pretty easily.

    One thing though - I'm going to keep the e-cig stuff when I'm off it because I lost my last quit after getting craves and ended up buying "just one" packet of fags (thought it wouldn't hurt after being quit 18-odd months) and don't want to make that mistake again!!

  • Like we have said before,the main thing is that you dont smoke real fags any more. :D

    That is an AMAZING achievement.Most people who try to quit,fail. You didnt fail-you did it :D Go Gemma Lou!

    The NRT thing will go in the end.You may need to push it,to get rid of it.It might decay over time,there is no urgency to end it but what matters is that you remain immensely proud of having quit real fags,cos we are all immensely proud of you :cool:

    Awww, Max, you're a softie really :)

  • Gems

    One line - you said 'this quit feels different'. (I know that feeling!) Take that as a 'Good Sign'

    And you know, because you feel this way, this quit is definitely going to be 'the one'

    Fi x

  • Gems

    One line - you said 'this quit feels different'. (I know that feeling!) Take that as a 'Good Sign'

    And you know, because you feel this way, this quit is definitely going to be 'the one'

    Fi x

    Aww thanks Fi xx

  • Rambly post that might possibly make no sense alert!

    Have been thinking about this quite a lot!!

    Basically, I'm delighted I don't smoke any more. That is fab, and am so proud of myself for having got through all the times when I'd nearly kill for a fag without actually getting close to buying any. There have been times when I was "relaxed" where the craves were very strong, but my friends helped me through!!

    I don't want to put myself through quitting again - it was a tough time, I probably wasn't exactly a nice person in the early stages and am not going to go there again, which means I can't ever smoke again.

    Am finally happy with the thought that I can't ever have another fag as long as I live. Have fallen into the "just a few won't hurt" trap before and they most definitely *do* hurt. While I used to be able to smoke a few then not touch them for weeks or months at a time, those days are gone 'cos I'm an addict and will always be one :(

    Max asked me to promise a week or so back to never smoke again, and i wouldn't. Now I am - never again will I smoke a fag!!

    I am using my e-cig, some days more than others. It definitely *has* stopped me from lighting up, which is fab.

    Do want to get off all types of nicotine as soon as I can - how soon doesn't really matter to me as long as 1) I don't smoke and 2) I make definite progress towards that.

    Talking of which, my thinking is definitely changing. Until recently, I had to force myself to hate smoking or I was afraid I'd start back up again - unlike my previous quits, this time I have genuinely found smoking and the smell of smokers really nasty - but there's still been the tiny part of my mind that wants to smoke - like I was missing out which was absurd, but that's addict thinking for you. That part is well on the way to dying off now, only realised it this afternoon but it is!!

    Am hoping "the book" will help me with that, it might take a few reads, or it might be one read and *snap*, don't know yet but we'll see. In the mean time, I'm not damaging my health, spending ridiculous amounts of money and making myself smell which is good :D

    So, my next steps are to read the book when it comes, and to go down a strength on the e-cig.

    Oh yes, and to stop going to sleep on the flipping sofa!!

    A huge thank you to everyone who posted on this and helped me - I couldn't have done it without you :) xx

    (And if you read this you deserve a flipping medal)

  • Gemma

    How can you fail :D

    It's just lovely the way you express yourself. It isn't appropriate (what the Hell) but I feel I just want to give you a big hug because you have done so utterly brilliantly,and yet you feel bad about the NRT :rolleyes:

    Gem don't worry about the NRT darling the time will come when you will not need it.That could be 2 weeks or 6 months or a year..Do not put yourself under any pressure.The hard bit is DONE.;)The Book will be a massive help for the continuance of the quit and to remove the nicotine dependence thing.You may,like me need to read it a few times to get the penny to drop.:D

    Max X

    Thanks Max!!

    Lol, nothing wrong with hugs!!

    It's ironic that I've been telling Sarah Lou not to beat herself up about using NRT while I was doing the same thing myself, but I'm feeling lots better now!! x

  • Aww sweetpea, that's a ramble that makes perfect sense! Only you could decide to beat yourself up about using some NRT when you've been off the foul cancer sticks for such a long time - hon you've DONE the thing you wanted to do, YOU'VE QUIT SMOKING!!! And coming off the NRT is just the next challenge.

    There's no hard and fast rules about when that must be or how fast it should happen so don't feel any pressure because the only one who is putting pressure on that is yourself - probably because you are an achieving kind of person who sets high standards and goals for herself. This is not a bad thing in the ordinary way of things but in this case you need to give yourself a break.

    All good things come to he who waits, that book will be here soon, you're going to have a nice block of time off work thanks to the bank holiday weekend to give you time to read and ponder and read again and I truly believe it will make all the difference. So please don't fret petal, it's going to be just fine and you WILL triumph because hey - YOU'VE QUIT SMOKING which is the big battle, the actual pull of nicotine in itself is a tiny opponent in comparison and I KNOW you can do this!

    I'm glad it made sense!!

    Thanks Kat, that's lovely and I'm feeling lots better for getting all that out, and having a good think too has helped heaps :D

    I feel fab for having stopped smoking, thinking about the time a couple of years ago when I was crying 'cos I was hooked *again* but still smoking - flipping stupid, but that's not me any more!!

    I will get off the NRT - hopefully with Allen Carr's help but the huge thing is that I'm a non-smoker and don't want to smoke :D

  • Yippee :d

    15 weeks NOW, in Cornwall a very sad girl was stubbing out her last fag!!

    Did I think I'd be able to say all this time later I'm still not smoking? Nope

    But heck I felt much different about this quit even then.

    [http://i1130.photobucket.com/albums/m524/fairygemma/445A4B06-5CCB-415B-9B0A-98BC31960A4E-1158-000000F801B956A7_zps028e9bde.jpg

    All those fags (that's a pretty conservative estimate too, got to be quite a bit higher than that) all that money and all that extra life I've got by ditching the nasty fags!!

    *Celebration dance*

  • You have smashed this!!!:D

    So proud of you!

    All that time ago eh,I was looking at my first posts from January,seems like ages ago but I realised early on that Gemma Lou was one to watch and you are here still blazing like a comet across the sky ;)

    Thanks Max :D

    Honestly, it seems like years and years ago - almost a totally different woman altogether (probably sounds mad) but now I can hardly remember what smoking feels like!! Don't want to remind myself either :eek:

    What I *can* remember is the pitying look on my dad's face when I smoked my last fag (and knowing he didn't think I'd make it) and all the times I'd try to hide my smoking from people. No way am I going back to that!!

    You're doing fab too, and you've helped loads of people on here - especially me - I'll wedge the door open for you in here!!

  • Thanks Max :D

    Honestly, it seems like years and years ago - almost a totally different woman altogether (probably sounds mad) but now I can hardly remember what smoking feels like!! Don't want to remind myself either :eek:

    What I *can* remember is the pitying look on my dad's face when I smoked my last fag (and knowing he didn't think I'd make it) and all the times I'd try to hide my smoking from people. No way am I going back to that!!

    You're doing fab too, and you've helped loads of people on here - especially me - I'll wedge the door open for you in here!!

    Wooooo! Well done Gemma :D:) xxx

  • Wooooo! Well done Gemma :D:) xxx

    Thanks Sarah!!

    And a huge thank you for helping me yesterday :cool: xxx

  • Thanks Sarah!!

    And a huge thank you for helping me yesterday :cool: xxx

    You're always more than welcome. Who would I be if I didn't offer words of advice to my musketeers?!

    Especially considering the amount of words I've received from you guys!! x

  • You're always more than welcome. Who would I be if I didn't offer words of advice to my musketeers?!

    Especially considering the amount of words I've received from you guys!! x

    Kat's right, that's what's so lovely about this place and the regulars on here :D

    You've all really helped me, and I hope I've helped you too!! :cool:

    Am liking the sound of Charlies Angles too!! xx

  • That's what's so great about this place - when we're on the up we can offer a helping hand to someone who's struggling and when we're down there's someone to offer us the same! And I think us four automatically watch out for each other which is great - perhaps given that we're three girls and one guy we should become Charlie and his Angels instead!:D

    Hmmmm ... I think max would enjoy that too much :rolleyes:

  • Charlie's Angels

    Okay, Charlie's Angels it is :)

    Though, Max, don't think I won't get my sword and frying pan out for back up when needed! ;)

  • Though, Max, don't think I won't get my sword and frying pan out for back up when needed! ;)

    That should definitely see him off :D

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