Guess I'm back here now :( I slipped last night and had a few a cigs. My bad. I went out for a couple of hours and one of those I was out with is a smoker & I battled with myself for half hour before caving. Not happy. However, I'm gonna beat this damn thing and it hasn't deterred me but I'm feeling rather weak in my resolve. It's like a battle that will never be truly won because I feel like I'm always going to be fighting this thing forever :(

Pls tell me that one day the fight becomes easier and it won't seem such a battle anymore. I'm trying so hard to keep determined but at this precise moment in time I feel it's just easier to resign myself as a smoker and not keep fighting it. I wish to God I'd never started.

9 Replies

  • It will happen

    Hi maddy110

    The fight will get easier - it will happen. You will not be fighting the fight forever. Every time we slip up on our quit we learn something - it is never a complete failure.

    It's like anything which involves the self-conscious - all of a sudden everything fits into place and it becomes easier - learning to drive springs to mind. The important thing is not to give up.:)

  • The fact that you're back is a good start.

    What you're feeling is quite normal which is why, for many, quitting is a bit of a struggle.

    Luckily it doesn't have to be and that's crucial. Even better, you only have to discover that once!

    Quitting is a road of discovery. There are many moments of "FFS did I really used to do that?"

    Quitting is not some long slow easing of pain it's a dawning of realisation.

    Good to see you back on the wagon once again. :)

  • Thanks Austin, max and non. I really do want to quit and I know I'm going to do this thing. Yesterday, I was beginning to feel quite good about myself. Even so far as to say quite 'high'. Of course, I was still getting pangs quite often but I also felt as if I was really getting somewhere.

    I have another stop smoking aptmt with the nurse this week and I think I will carry on with these for now. The carbon monoxide test results should surely be better than last week (30!) and this will be a good incentive for me to carry on as I was quite upset with the high reading lol by Wednesday, my reading should be much better.

    Anyway thanks again and good luck to all you other quitters. Time for some zumba baby!

  • Thanks kat. Your words give me hope! I've quit before also and lasted a couple of years. Like you, I thought I'd just have one for the hell of it when I was out thinking one won't hurt. Pah. Wasn't long before I was a full on smoker again. Wishing you all the best for your quit and may it last a lifetime this time round. We need to keep strong even when e have shaky moments and remind ourselves the hard stage won't last forever. Good luck.

  • HI Maddy,Im back too...........for good this time:)

  • Dear God!

    Maddy! - That's a name from the past - I think (well I KNOW) you were here my first time round.

    I'm really sorry you slipped too - but nice to know I'm not on my own.

    Keep on keeping on - we'll have no more blipping from you young lady!!! ;)

  • It says so much about this forum that people come back to try again after slipping up.

    I've never been able to quit for more than a couple of days in the past and I felt disappointed and embarrassed, it took me months/years to get the courage up to try again.

    Well done to all of you for coming back,it takes balls to admit that you didn't make it....and even bigger ones to try again!

    I'm sure you already know that you'll get all the help and encouragement you need :D

    Best of luck to all of you, if you keep trying you'll win eventually

  • Feel your pain

    I know how your feeling. I think this is my 3rd serious quit attempt and my longest yet. It feels like every day you just want one. Just one. The cravings just fuel more cravings. A familiar smell triggers a craving. Windows down in the car flying down the road with a favorite song..."for f@$*ks sake I'd murder for a cig right now." And of course the infamous friends-night-out-with-friends-that-smoke-night night. "If they can smoke why can't I?!" But the trick is to always know that it's a lie and an illusion. It seems when you want it to be easier it never seems harder, but then there will be that day when you go to sleep without a single thought or craving for a smoke. In fact you probably won't even realize this particular accomplishment just like you won't realize the weeks passing by being smoke free. Next thing you know you'll be months down the road and suddenly you'll get what it feels like to be free from the nico-chains. One day at a time and never take your eyes off the finish line; no more smoke in your lungs ever again period.

    I really wish you the best.

  • Welcome back Maddy,

    Long time no see! Good luck with the quit, make it a forever one! Rooting in your corner!


You may also like...