oops!

well, not oops just yet, but...

well i'm toying with the idea of smoking again, the nicodemon is strong in me today. i have been visualising going down to the shop for a pack of ten for the last couple of hours, and really not doing much work (or is that the nicodemon talking)

anyway, i always promised myself i would post before smoking, so here i am, kind of despising myself for being so weak, hmmm,

have made myself a big bowl of soup just in case the craving is hunger :/ ready to try just about anything!

i'm definitely feeling some kind of emotion! but so far i can only think of the craving for a cig....

39 Replies

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  • Well you could. You could just go and smoke. If you wanted to be a smoker again, spending a fortune, smelling, destroying your health, wasting all the effort you've gone to over these weeks and weeks, admitting it to everyone, feeling like a failure....

    Or you could ride it out, like you've ridden out lots of days like this, and come through. You could wake up tomorrow morning knowing you've beaten the demons and you're a stronger person for it.

    Do NOT kid yourself. One packet of ten will lead you straight back into that prison.

    Only you can choose. But I know what I hope you do.

    (((hugs)))

  • Hi used25mol<e REMEMBER in your own words "'i will have a better day tomorrow - there is no point in smoking every time i get an emotion'

    you are so much stronger than the nicodemon so look him in the face tell him just that and send him on his way!! :)

  • Its not worth it. What would smoking one do? Would it make it better? Would you get out of bed tomorrow and be pleased with yourself that you quit the quit for a mind game??

    We have all been there. Well, I have anyway. It goes away you know. Treat it as a trigger which I am sure, if you delve around long enough, will make itself known to you and I think that by then the need to purchase and smoke will have abated.

    Well done for posting here first, its always worth getting a second opinion or two before you consider caving!

    Fi

  • NO No No! Please don't. You don't need it and I know you don't realy want it.

    Think about it, if you do smoke what will it actually be like....

    [*]You feel dizzy

    [*]It'll taste horrid

    [*]It'll make your clothes smell

    [*]It'll make you feel sick

    I could go, on but you DO KNOW this really!!

    What is your absolutely favourite food (one that you wouldn't normally eat)? Go and buy that and eat it as a present to yourself for not smoking.

  • ye, i'm gonna smell so bad :(

    food didn't help, it's an emotional thing, probably fear and dissapointment and rejection all wrapped up into a big snowball :!

    have to walk across town now, past a tobacco shop...

  • Which you're going to walk straight past. Then while you're doing that, you're going to have a chat with yourself and try to deal with whatever issues you're having at the moment. Think there must be something in the water, as quite a few seem to be stumbling at the moment.

    Take care xx

  • is it the sunshine, seen that on a lot of other posts, nicodemon says i'd be ok if it was raining...

  • It could be I suppose. It seems quite easy saying no to smoking when it's freezing outside, or pouring down with rain. We all gave up in the winter, now spring is here we've just got to work out if we want to go out in that nice clean spring fresh air and not be able to smell it properly because we want to pollute ourselves again.

  • is it the sunshine, seen that on a lot of other posts, nicodemon says i'd be ok if it was raining...

    Yes it is. I was there this morning, my boy was asleep I sat in the garden with a cup of tea and thought Ooo I could just have a smoke now (I also have PMT which always seems to make me crave for a day or two) I even wondered if the pack I left in the shed was still there. I haven't smoked and I won't I don't want to be a smoker anymore.

    Today I choose not to smoke and I will continue to make that choice.

  • if it wasnt mega sunny wen u quit then its just a trigger

    trample all over that trigger like u did all the others

    u can beat this

  • I agree... the sunshine does remind you of the 'good' smokes.

    But there's really no such thing as a good smoke. With that one comes all the other thousands and thousands.

    Hoping you walked past that tobacconists.

    xxx

  • have been good and read over some posts, it has helped, i know that is i have one puff that's it for this quit, i think that is the power of this site, and of course i'll have to go back to day 1 again, and miss out on getting to the penthouse in 5 months as well as all the bad things that come with smoking,

    but you know, if i dont smoke i'm going to HAVE to FACE UP TO REALITY!!! surely you don't want me to have to do that do you kind forum people, surely you'd prefer me to have a cig and hide away under the duvet :)

    ....

    ..

  • couple of minutes to tobaconist temptation...

  • NO No No! Please don't. You don't need it and I know you don't realy want it.

    Think about it, if you do smoke what will it actually be like....

    [*]You feel dizzy

    [*]It'll taste horrid

    [*]It'll make your clothes smell

    [*]It'll make you feel sick

    I could go, on but you DO KNOW this really!!

    What is your absolutely favourite food (one that you wouldn't normally eat)? Go and buy that and eat it as a present to yourself for not smoking.

    DivingDale...THANKYOU!!! I too have been feeling like 5mol>er all day. My OH is lucky he has a head left on him Ive been that snappy!! Just reading what you said about how havin a cig and how it would make me feel has alrready made me feel so much better. Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!!:)

  • No.... We wouldn't. Come and face up to reality with the rest of them. Me, I'm inside my own personal bubble, and it's lovely! :D

  • Walk on by!

    You know you can. You don't want to go back there, it's not a good place to be.

  • Here Here Karri, well said, see below!

    You have been quit for so long I would say this is just an off day. You have proved you can be a non smoker so you're probably wondering "OK what now".

    5mol<er - remember your words on your message thread, 'i will have a better day tomorrow'

    'there is no point in smoking every time i get an emotion'

    You can do it! All the very best

    Shaun

  • your nicodeamon is having a a desparate tantrum today everything u have said is traditional nico talk

    tell him where to go and u aint gonna feed him

  • you know i have read this so many times on your signiture

    'there is no point in smoking every time i get an emotion'

    and it has helped me so many time i have even quoted it to people wen thay ask me about quitting

  • bought ten and a box of matches - funny posting here - feels like a collape in slow motion, i hear all the voices from so many threads i've read over the last 6 months,

    it's hard to explain just how completely the desire to smoke is spread through me, all the good forces are gone and just desperation is left,

    it still feels good to post though :) it's like even if i don't make it bearing my fears in public like this may do some kind of good,

    not smoked yet,

    i'm meeting a friend at six and she will pound me into dust if i smoke :)

  • yes boo, it is good, Claire said it early in her quit and it really struck home with me and many others, and it is what is happening to me now,

    good old mantra, i'll chant it for a bit

  • shit, crying in a public place now :(

  • Just wanted to see if one of your own posts would help you out.

    hold on in there, deep breaths, sip some water, it will be real tough but think how great you will feel if you make it through to tomorrow without smoking.

    part of giving up somoking is learnig to deal with these moments without a cig, you have to make it sometime, so choose now!

    best of luck to you,

    You don't have to smoke those fags, they could just be a waste of money and not a waste of your quit if you throw them away.

    Sorry you're having a shit time of it today xx

  • Just look at those cigarettes in your hand.

    Tar, lead, cadmium and nickel, benzene, formaldehyde, ammonia, carbon monoxide, arsenic, acetone, and trace amounts of hydrogen cyanide.

    How is inhaling this sh*t going to make your life any better?

    Please don't do it xxxx

  • well i caved, so this is my last post in this part of the forum for a while, thanks for all the posts of support, but in the final ****ysis this wasn't the time for me,

    i now smell bad,

    in a couple of days the smokers cough will be back, my thinking will be clouded and chaotic, and i'll have to go through the whole process of quitting again,

    there were issues i didn't resolve through this quit and i need to face them before i can be successful, i think they are issues about self confidence,

    one of the nice things about quitting, perhaps the nicest, is facing those issues and finding ways around them,

    learning to like myself despite my flaws, learning to remember my strengths,

    you are good people, it has been a pleasure to be amongst you :)

    look out for me with the day 1 quitters some time soon, i hope to see some familiar faces in the penthouse when i get back.

    5mol<er

  • Yeah sorry to hear that. Try to remember how you feel now, use it to spur you onto your next quit. I've been trying to quit for over 2 years lost count of how many times I failed, it's like a learning curve and it is possible.

    Good luck for any of your future quits.

  • Aaaah, such a shame but good for you in how brave you were to come on here and talk to us about it, not to just disappear.

    I do hope that once things are sorted you'll come back and join us again!

    In the meantime, you'll be missed.

  • I'm sorry. Not much one can say. But PLEASE don't leave it too long. Don't give that cough time to get established! You can learn from this and use it to make the next quit your last. Get your head straight and come back SOON SOON SOON. I'll be looking out for you xxx

  • This is so sad. I hope you resolve your issues and are soon able to remember why you wanted to quit.

    Marilyn (hug)

  • The Lifeboat crew

    I have just read every post in this thread. I reckon if I can get to four months, I should be home and dry, but she 'fell' long after that! If I had been in time to post my few penn'orth, my 'lifebelt' would have been the cost of smoking - in my case over £150,000 (at today's prices) in my lifetime + damaged health + clothes + home + car + teeth + the whole wretched performance you have to go to to get a smoke these days.

    Today is now day 29 and I have thrown away the last packet of cigarettes I opened, with 16 still in it (dried up!). A month ago, I'd have jumped in the bin after 'em!

    May I just congratulate the support of "The lifeboat crew" in trying to help a mariner, lost at sea. Great effort, great shame. As a bunch, you'll do!!! :)

  • Where are you smoker?????? I hope you did not give into a bad day . Im finding it hard this week with the sun shining .As you say you cant smoke on every emotion .

  • hi jans, still here! back and posting on day one :)

  • Oh Shit 5mol<er, only just seen this.

    I am so so sorry that you found yourself unable to resist, and that i wasnt around to help you out-please forgive me.

    So what is your plan of action now?

    Are/Have you jumped back onto the wagon straight away?

    please do!! the longer you leave it, the harder ot will be to grab a hold of that wagon.

    What stops me from smoking now is not the fear that i wont be able to quit- i have already proved i can do that- but the fear of ' hw many more years is it going to take until i feel i want to quit'?

    So, you smoked- big deal! just decide that you are no longer going to smoke. learn this lesson- think of ways to deal with it next time around.

    I hit 6 months and BAM!!! all of a sudden all i wanted to do was smoke! i used to see people in the street smoking and emulate them blowing smoke out of their mouths!

    whatever you decide to do, please feel safe in the knowledge that you are welcome back here any time at all.

  • hi Claire, well strangely enough you were here to help, at least your mantra was :)

    I hit 6 months and BAM!!! all of a sudden all i wanted to do was smoke! i used to see people in the street smoking and emulate them blowing smoke out of their mouths!

    absolutely, BAM!! well there are two 3's in 6 after all!

  • That was good of you smoker to post all the way through to picking up a fag and smoking .That post will help so many people who want to cave in . Smoker you will beat this ,you know your down falls . So much good luck and see you soon on the next quit . Says me feeling like shit when the sun is out . so want a smoke .But like i say im not hiding under my duvet thats a cop out .xxxxx

  • My god 5mol<er, I can't believe I missed so much! I was away on holiday and couldn't check the forum... so sorry I wasn't here!

    This has been a massive shock for me, thanks for posting and helping us all realise that we're still vulnerable that many months in. It just takes that one trigger/thought/emotion and it all can escalate so quickly into those final moments that are almost in slow motion like you described so well. I dread ever finding myself in that position (although I know it's still a very real 'risk') and thanks for being so honest and letting us know about it.

    Gonna miss looking forward to you beating me to milestones!

  • no worries sofia, fully not intending to let this beat me! for now i'm gonna battle it out in the early days forums, but who knows maybe it it goes well i'll think about moving back in here, gonna take a while though!

  • It doesn't feel right posting in your day 3 thread as to me you're still a non smoker sitting up here in the 6 months bit so this is where i'll post! Bloody rubbish you fell off but bloody marvellous you got back on again so soon! I doff (dock? Dosh? Dot? I am not sure but you sort of flick the edge of it) my hat off to you!

    Fi x

  • Hear Hear Fi!

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