Having tried and failed numerous times to quit this horrible habit here I am back at day 1 again.
I have had to make my mind up pretty quick as in straight away, how did I get here , well back last October I had the joy of being rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack after numerous tests and a 12 hour wait on the observation ward I was told luckily no heart attack but I would need to return for further tests.
A week later I found myself on a treadmill for 20 minutes being monitored and was told that I was pretty fit for my age. * nicotine monster saying see told I was'nt doing any harm*.
Another week goes by and the results come back inconclusive , come back and we will do a nuclear heart scan. A couple of very worrying weeks waiting for an appointment * brain saying just quit its killing you * another attempt to quit comes and goes then back to hospital again to be injected with radioactive material and scanned again.
Another wait for a month and no results coming , called my GP to be told that if there is anything more that needs to be done we will contact you so no news is good news. Good news means no need to quit says nicotine monster so on we go as before.
Now I find myself becoming short of breath with several other symptoms of early emphysema which my father in law has had for years and I don't want to go there. Also having stupidly said to my wife years ago that smoking was'nt damaging me ( idiot ) and that if it stared to I would definitely quit Here I am again DAY 1 and it has really got to be for the very last time. I have made to 6 weeks before and still stupidly gone back so I know to be on guard until then but after that I will be in unchartered territory.