Day 1 again

Having tried and failed numerous times to quit this horrible habit here I am back at day 1 again.

I have had to make my mind up pretty quick as in straight away, how did I get here , well back last October I had the joy of being rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack after numerous tests and a 12 hour wait on the observation ward I was told luckily no heart attack but I would need to return for further tests.

A week later I found myself on a treadmill for 20 minutes being monitored and was told that I was pretty fit for my age. * nicotine monster saying see told I was'nt doing any harm*.

Another week goes by and the results come back inconclusive , come back and we will do a nuclear heart scan. A couple of very worrying weeks waiting for an appointment * brain saying just quit its killing you * another attempt to quit comes and goes then back to hospital again to be injected with radioactive material and scanned again.

Another wait for a month and no results coming , called my GP to be told that if there is anything more that needs to be done we will contact you so no news is good news. Good news means no need to quit says nicotine monster so on we go as before.

Now I find myself becoming short of breath with several other symptoms of early emphysema which my father in law has had for years and I don't want to go there. Also having stupidly said to my wife years ago that smoking was'nt damaging me ( idiot ) and that if it stared to I would definitely quit Here I am again DAY 1 and it has really got to be for the very last time. I have made to 6 weeks before and still stupidly gone back so I know to be on guard until then but after that I will be in unchartered territory.

18 Replies

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  • well done barry its never to late and within weeks you feel great.

    I am due to stop on sunday using chamix and seeing what i have seen in my family thorugh heavy smoking, the way my mum is now, like you i dont want be her in 30 years, with COPD, using inhalers, can hardly walk and having lungs of a 90 year old with 70 % use as the rest is pretty much useless, blocked arteries and god knows what esle. It a shocker seeing what it can do to you!

    I will be here routing for you and i know you can do it, just take one craving at a time, dont worry about tomorrow. i just hope i can follow my own advice come sunday!

    derek

  • Welcome back Barry. I'm sure everyone on the forum will be right behind you in your quit. You will see so many different methods that have been used. I have tried most of them myself. Whatever method you choose know that there is a support network here and that people will help you, even if you just need to have a bit of a rant.

    Good luck (tho I don't think you will need it)

    :D

  • Thanks Derek and best of luck not only Sunday but there after. I'm going cold turkey myself because thats what got me to 6 weeks before and thats the best I ever did.

    Barrie

  • Have you ever noticed how this habit is one of opposites,

    I think everyone will admit that everyday you smoke somewhere maybe in the back of your mind you will think about quitting, as soon as you quit you constantly think about smoking:confused:

    When you quit, for a while you feel terrible like your doing harm to yourself.

    When you smoke you feel better even though you are slowly killing yourself:confused:

  • Good Luck Barry

    Barry Hi I'm just 48 hrs in so know how you're feeling here. Have tried to quit previously but never made it past 15 hrs so this attempt looking better for me. Stay with it cravings seem to be reducing - a bit so hopefully will feel better over next 24 hrs. You're not alone out there dude.....

  • Have you ever noticed how this habit is one of opposites,

    I think everyone will admit that everyday you smoke somewhere maybe in the back of your mind you will think about quitting, as soon as you quit you constantly think about smoking:confused:

    When you quit, for a while you feel terrible like your doing harm to yourself.

    When you smoke you feel better even though you are slowly killing yourself:confused:

    And you spend your life lying to yourself that the good outweighs the potential bad.

    It's a contradiction that could keep your brain going forever lol

  • Sorry if I'm spouting a lot of rubbish . This time its not an I'd like to quit attempt for me, but a I have to quit or do serious damage one. The pressure is a lot more and somehow this is helping.

  • Well done Barrie on deciding to quit again :)

    as you know most of the people on this forum have had quite afew attempts to stop for good but normally down the road your smoking mind who will try every tactic it can to try and entice you back telling you that

    one wont hurt

    and that it will help you when your upset and stressed :(

    which it doesnt really its just feeding your addiction

    rereading your early posts will help you to remember what you went through and if you really really want to smoke again just keep telling yourself

    if i still want one tomorrow i will smoke and then say the same tomorrow

    as you know the craves do ease of but every now and again you will get a strong one which you just have to distract yourself and saying i will smoke one tomorrow

    just focus on one day at a time and come post and read on here everytime you get a crave coming on which will help to distract

    onwards and upwards is the way forward

    i look forward to reading your posts :)

    regards

    Carol

  • Katrina

    Hi :)

    Today I've second day without cigarette :) I am using Champix (6 days)

    I am happy that I feel better :D

    Good luck to everyone !!!

  • Carol you were a star back in October and you still are now nice to see your still helping us poor bloody sufferers. To be honest its all about fear I think not so much the when will the cravings go away fear, but the I've tried this loads of times and never made it can I ever really get free fear:( and how much is it going to hurt getting there.

  • ahh thanks Barrie :o

    of course its a scary thought of stopping but the way round that is not to think too far ahead into the future just concentrate on one day at a time

    and ask yourself this

    do you really want to let a white posionous expensive stick be in control of your life every waking second of every day :eek:

    controlling your every move and action

    you can stop this but it will take time and the further along you go the easier it will become

    coming back on here was the first step

  • have a read through this what hellsbells wrote

    hope it helps

    forum.nosmokingday.org.uk/s...

  • Interesting read thank you :)

    I think patience is going to be a key for me ( I'm not very good at that ) also it's going to be really weird not knowing where your goal is, when you've reached it and then what next :confused:

  • See I am trying to talk myself out of it again :confused:

  • well just start by taking each day as it comes along and keeping count of of the hours you have stopped smoking untill those hours turn into days and then before you know it

    you wilbe counting in weeks :)

    there are some good apps out there that are free to download to your computer and phone which will help to keep you focused on each day

    writing down your reasons for quitting is also a good reminder to bring you back into the quit

    the link in my signature is full of some really good tips

    :)

  • Hmm ok well I have been thinking about what always brings me back to smoking and why I always fail to quit.

    What I suppose is that when I was younger I used to like a beer out with the lads, nothing like boarding on alcoholic but it was a vice I suppose. Stopped that as I grew up and priorities changed.

    Used to go to the football and play a fair bit of golf, that stopped once the kids came along could no longer afford it so the fags I have always seen as my only vice, so when I tried before it was like " giving up my only pleasure " I guess we have all used that excuse at sometime.

    Now however I dont see it as a pleasure but an affliction that I really want rid of

    so maybe just maybe :)

  • Thats it

    Right lets be accurate, I think I will need to look back at this.

    Wednesday 15th August 2012 10.50am last fag put out, packet and only ashtray in the house thrown in the bin.

    I begin.

    1st benefit already no achievement but an early bonus :-)

    Your blood pressure and heart rate will return to normal. This immediately lowers your risk of having a heart attack. Your circulation will also improve, bringing fresh blood to your fingers and toes, so they may start to tingle.

  • Hey Barrie! Congrats on becoming a non smoker, it only gets easier from here! :)

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