1st day and struggling so much

Hello everyone,

I've had a couple false starts this week but this is my proper first day with no cigarettes. I am finding this SO hard. I suffer with anxiety and depression anyway (am on antidepressants) and cutting out cigarettes is making me feel very vulnerable right now. I've been in tears all night. I don't want to live this way, bit I don't want to die of lung cancer either.

I have an electronic cigarette with no nicotine which I am using when it gets rough. I have been prescribed the gum and patches by my nurse, but I'm too afraid to take them. Will they really make that big a difference?

I'm reading all these things about how the anxiety and feeling low can go on for WEEKS. I don't know if I can take this, I am honestly scared of my anxiety spiralling out of control again.

I AM SO SCARED, PLEASE HELP.

22 Replies

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  • Hiya mum29....I suffer slightly from anxiety and a sense of panic sometimes....I've also had depression a few times since a teenager. I must say the first 3 days going cold turkey were a bit surreal and I did feel anxious and jittery. It sounds like you suffer anxiety a bit worse than I do so I would probably suggest having something to help you quit like NRT. Where you can slowly lower your dose over time and then change your behaviour whilst doing so and start to loose your associations with smoking. I know a few on here would say go CT anyway....but having done both I would recommend NRT as the way to go if your person suffering from anxiety. DOn't be scared to use NRT as it's way better for you than smoking, nicotine with out the shit.

    Good luck.....maybe the fags aren't doing you any favours concerning your anxiety...I feel much calmer and less stressed now than I was smoking, just a thought.

    Lisa x

  • gaining strength.

    Hello there Mum 29,

    Read your post and hope you're feeling better.

    Firstly well done for deciding to quit and the very best of luck. Like everyone on this forum we have all be chained to this horrible addiction for so long and it's a damn hard nut to crack. I would imagine it's even more difficult if you experience depression and anxiety as your triggers will probable be multiple, but you can do this and I feel you believe in yourself!. I am finding the early days dragging in , but like Craig said you will find yourself developing strategies to divert yourself from smoking.

    I find its helpful not to think about what I are giving up , but what I will be gaining in the longerterm.... better health , more money , fresh breath the list goes on.

    I have tried NRT in the past and failed miserably and I have now decided to take the champix route. I think certain methods suit different people and sometimes its a matter of trial and error for some people. Please if you are scared talk to the nurse about the NRT and what happens to your body when you take them . I'm sure s/he will be helpful and understanding.

    Keep posting. I find the forum very helpful for sharing my feelings and everyone really understands what we are going through.. we are in the same boat.

    Best

    Pammie.

  • Hi Mum29- I'm no expert but give the NRT a go- what have you got to lose?

    Its there to help you reduce the nicotine intake while breaking free from the habit.

    If it doesn't suit you there are plenty more options out there to try.

    Is there a New Leaf programme where you live? the support is great and you can get the NRT on prescription - alot cheaper than over the counter :)

    Keep at it and don't be afraid to try -got to be better than a fag eh? :)

  • This is almost the end of day one. When will this anxiety lift a bit?

    I'll be honest, I feel like if I quit, I'll most likely be increasing my antidepressant dose. It feels like a no win situation right now. I'm in tears.

    It has taken me six months to get my anxiety under control (partly through medicine, partly through my faith, etc) and now I feel as though the rug has been pulled out from under me. I feel like I'm back at square one.

  • Hang on in there mum29, tomorrow is another day...I spent the first day in tears....crying and crying. I just sat in the conservatory away from everyone sobbing at a shitty feel good movie geesh. ANyway, I felt better the next day and bloody proud I'd got through day 1. Day 2 and three were better, I felt anxious, jittery, had cold sweats, "cotton-wool"/muggy head.....well withdrawal basically!!! If you can get past the first day that's brilliant...and then the following two then really the anxious feeling subsided. Maybe if you could set those 3 days as your goal and then reassess from there.....Honestly you'll feel on top of the world when you've achieved it and maybe that new confidence will spur you on to make your next goal a whole week. you can only try it....use the NRT as a last resort maybe rather than reaching for the fags.

    We've all gone through this/going through it.

    Good luck LIsa x

  • I cracked. I have been putting myself under SO much pressure about this. I am going to put on a patch first thing tomorrow and see how it goes.

  • Hey no worries....we've all done it, and we all learn more about ourselves along the way. Good luck for tomorrow, you are doing the right thing mum29...and I promise you, you will become a stronger person going through this quitting m'larkey. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, it'll only make it harder to quit

    Lisa x

  • It's so frustrating because I've quit when I was pregnant. Cold turkey and I honestly can't remember any withdrawl symptoms. This time, I've tried to do it properly, clinically (going to nurse) and I think I've frightened myself reading about all the symptoms people experience (ie anxiety, feeling low) and it's become a self fulfilling prophecy...

  • Sometimes "winging it" is the only way :D

    I only felt anxious/jittery on the first 3 days of not smoking and then it wasn't that bad....I s'pose it's like self-diagnosing yourself on the internet.....proper scary and 99/100 times you just scare yourself silly. Chillax. Good luck for tomoz.

    Lisa x

  • Good luck with your patches today. I've used them before and they definitely take the edge off. I know everyone is different, but I was extremely over emotional for the first 4 days, very tearful and a bit paranoid, but after that it seems to have lifted. I also gave up twice when I was pregnant with no apparent symptoms. I'm sure it's because it wasn't about giving up for myself, it was all about my babies. My head seems to have cleared too after the first few days of feeling a bit dizzy. I didn't actually mind that though, it was a sort of altered sense of reality lol.

    I hope today is a better day :)

  • give it a few days to get through the emotions and change

    you have spent alot of your life training yourself to smoking with every emotion and every situation now you have to retrain your brain

    i have suffered depression and anxiety alot in the past and smoking infact makes depression and anxiety worse since quitting i am no longer on antidepressants and i have not had any episodes of really low moods

    obviously you get the odd day or two of feeling abit down [usually hormonal] but it doesnt get to that point of being out of control and needing medication it passes and gets better on its own [i could never feel better on my own before wen i smoked]

    i spent i good few days crying at the start but it gets better bit by bit you just have to pull yourself through the tough times to get to the good times

    since qutting my mental health has definately turned around and is very positive

    boo

  • i have suffered depression and anxiety alot in the past and smoking infact makes depression and anxiety worse since quitting i am no longer on antidepressants and i have not had any episodes of really low moods

    obviously you get the odd day or two of feeling abit down [usually hormonal] but it doesnt get to that point of being out of control and needing medication it passes and gets better on its own [i could never feel better on my own before wen i smoked]

    i spent i good few days crying at the start but it gets better bit by bit you just have to pull yourself through the tough times to get to the good times

    since qutting my mental health has definately turned around and is very positive

    boo

    Totally agree with your comments, Boo, and in fact there is ample evidence that Smoking can cause Depression.

    But then we can also increase the depression when we actually are quitting. It's possible that chatting this over with ones GP can provide some extra help or slight alteration in medication as suggested here

    Reading informationabout what is ahead doesn't necessarily need to be scary. There are also solutions and one would hope that the more we look the more solutions we could find. Don't forget that there is helpful information to be had that makes the journey less arduous...less of a trial.

    A good friend I've made on these boards has the following Shakesperean quote in her sig: "Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so." Easy to say but we can rethink the way we view issues and make attempts not to be as frightened of the future.

    Best wishes with your journey, Mum29...and as others have stated, do get involved on the Forum.

    Karri, I suspect you confuse the read/education concerns with your propensity to make excuses. We can all rationalise our behaviour by making excuses for not doing what we ought/want to.

  • I guess you found quitting easier when you were pregnant as it was just something you felt you had to do whatever so you didn't think of the downside as it wasn't relevant.

    Things are different now but don't worry that it will be too hard - I know people who have found it incredibly easy and even those who find it really tough - well, it hasn't all been unrelenting misery there are ups too and plenty of them :)

    Read about the addiction, especially relevant to you why smoking "seems" to help stress (it doesn't, it makes it worse). Read Allen Carr which can help you see smoking in a different way.

    Good luck :)

  • I love the way you try to belittle me Cav without even knowing if I am smoking or not :rolleyes:

    This being Mum29's thread about her concerns it may be more advisable to start a new one and not derailing her's. Possibly marking your new quit. I and many others would be very pleased to see you quitting :)

  • Yes it is someone's thread but you made your comment first and I responded!

    Actually not quite right...

    Some people here couldnt understand because I dared to say ignorance is bliss.

    Now, how about that issue re not derailing?

  • It's so frustrating because I've quit when I was pregnant. Cold turkey and I honestly can't remember any withdrawl symptoms. This time, I've tried to do it properly, clinically (going to nurse) and I think I've frightened myself reading about all the symptoms people experience (ie anxiety, feeling low) and it's become a self fulfilling prophecy...

    It's very common for pregnant women to quit with ease because the subconscious 'moves the goal-posts' sometimes to the point of becoming disgusted with smoking.

    It's also amazingly common for these same women to start puffing away again nine months later.

    A 'proper' quit, (nurse, planning, prescription etc) statistically is no better than an improper quit.

    Once you understand why you smoke makes it pretty hard to continue the habit though. Surely getting your head in a 'pregnant' mood is your goal? ;)

  • It's so frustrating because I've quit when I was pregnant. Cold turkey and I honestly can't remember any withdrawl symptoms.

    I'd imagine there's some benign hormonal effect that kicks in when a woman is pregnant that helps with quitting.

    This time, I've tried to do it properly, clinically (going to nurse) and I think I've frightened myself reading about all the symptoms people experience (ie anxiety, feeling low) and it's become a self fulfilling prophecy...

    Yup, I've read many of your posts throughout the year charting your many attempts. The thing is you don't need to focus upon the aspects that scare you and discount read/education/knowledge process out of hand. As I mentioned above and possibly is worthwhile repeating, "Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so."

  • That isn't my post. I was pointing out what mumi had written and explaining I hadnt derailed the thread talking about knowledge, I was replying to mumi bringing it up

    Oh...somewhat confusing. Suffice to say that the other part of your post wasn't really worth commenting upon.

    Yup, I've read many of your posts throughout the year charting your many attempts. The thing is you don't need to focus upon the aspects that scare you and discount read/education/knowledge process out of hand. As I mentioned above and possibly is worthwhile repeating, "Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so."

    Possibly you could focus upon this part being a supportive post aimed at you :)

  • personally from someone who has suffered depression i wanted to know how i would feel and gather all the information i could

    the unknown was far to scary for the depressive mindset i could be in sometimes

    i think if you find some of my early posts i would plan my day before i got out of bed and if anything threw that plan in anyway i was in a complete panic and someone suggested to make two plans so if the first one didnt work i had a plan b to fall back on and it worked

    so wat i am trying to say for me wen i had depression i had to know what was going on and wat was going to happen so i could prepare mentally for it and so i would be strong enough to cope wen or if it did happen

    this is why i always advise knowledge is power cause it worked for me and many others gave me that advise at the start

    mum29 imagine a life without depression and tablets i myself never in a million years would have believed smoking contributed so heavily towards how i used to be since quitting and getting through the tough times i never be so relaxed , not stressed, no anxiety, touch wood no depression, no medication, i am like a naturally happy person these days

    we are all here to support you through it all

    boo

  • Day 2

    I had hypnosis yesterday morning and haven't smoked since. I spent the evening last night in tears because i couldn't have a fag. Im finding it very hard as its the weekend. Im not sure if the hypnosis has worked as i feel like im doing this 100% cold turkey. I didnt sleep very well last night and the thought of a life without fags is frightening but the rest of my life with fags is more frightening so its keeping me going. Im grateful to have found this forum and seeing other people going through it with me. All my friends smoke so going out is going to be a real test. I gave up for 4 months two years ago with champix and i must admit it was a great deal easier than this time around. Im trying to look at people smoking as people that just have to go through what we are going through eventually, rather than be jealous that they can have a fag. good luck everyone x

  • I would suggest you go back to your hypnotherapist with these questions?

    You shouldn't be in such an angst ridden state following a successful session.

  • ......................... and back to Mum29

    I hope you're feeling better today and are going to give NRT a try - we all need a helping hand sometimes :) It's designed to help you manage your cravings and may make the idea of quitting a little less scary for you.

    Quitting does make you feel vunerable as you're giving up the thing you've used as a coping strategy for years. It's worth reading up a little on how you may feel and what you can do to help but try and read up on some of the positives too - when you focus on the negative stuff that's all you'll see. There's plenty on here who feel so much better since quitting - me included :)

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