Quitting For Good

I have brought forward my quit date to tomorrow night :eek:

I'm sure there's a little bit of doubt out there as to whether I really mean it but life has changed a little in the last 24 hours.

Have been hit with the usual winter flu and as always it has gone to my chest. I did think about quitting on Thursday night but decided my last cigarettes were going to be enjoyable and chose to wait. If you were going to give up beer you would want that last glass to be the best, it wouldnt be the same if it was flat and tasted of fish.

So I went to the doctors yesterday and got some anti biotics. To cut a long story short I have got to back after the new year and have a spirometry test over 3 days. When I think back to that hill I couldn't climb I know deep down I will have COPD. I watched my mum for years suffer with this so I know my symptoms are a mirror image of hers.

You all probably think I'm mad smoking knowing that i probably have this but I have to start my quit on my terms or it wont last.

I don't want to say I am quitting for my health or that I don't have a choice now. I do have a choice, I can carry on smoking if I really want to but I don't. I want to choose life :D

19 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hey Karri,

    I'm sorry to hear the news Karri. I sincerely hope u will be ok.

    I'm behind u 100%. Do this on your terms and success will come to u.

    I'm all smiles for u and will check in to see what is new on the updates!

    Steve

  • Hey Karri,

    I'm glad to hear you have brought your quit forward to tomorrow, but I hope you won't spend all your time over Christmas worrying about COPD. You don't know that you definitely have it until you have your tests, and even if you do the progress of it will be arrested if you stop smoking. Meanwhile, if you quit tomorrow, you will be over the worst of the nicotine withdrawals in time for a very large, well-deserved Christmas dinner :D

    And I will make a pact with you. You know I am travelling up to my mums tomorrow and am worried about the train journey, but I won't run off to buy fags when I change trains if you get your first day done. Deal? :p I don't know what time I will be able to get on here tomorrow night, (have to kick my mums boyfriend off the 'puta first :rolleyes:) but I will think of you in your day 1, and you can think of me trying to climb out of the train window :eek:

    Meanwhile, pop into the December Quitters room and say hello. I will send ChrisM out for more booze and cookies, and we will party and start Christmas early.

    Wishing you all the best for tomorrow Karri,

    Zoe xxxx

  • Mmmm

    I've got to say it, Karri. You really scare me. :(

    I did think about quitting on Thursday night but decided my last cigarettes were going to be enjoyable and chose to wait. If you were going to give up beer you would want that last glass to be the best, it wouldnt be the same if it was flat and tasted of fish.

    You all probably think I'm mad smoking knowing that i probably have this but I have to start my quit on my terms or it wont last.

    I don't want to say I am quitting for my health or that I don't have a choice now. I do have a choice, I can carry on smoking if I really want to but I don't. I want to choose life :D

    I've been on this forum for long enough to understand that we are all very different, and what works for one person may not do it for another. As a rule, I try to encourage other people on here, and not judge their approach or tell them how to do it. But right or wrong, I'm going to break that rule in your case.

    My last fags were absolutely crap. Partly because the Champix had kicked in, and partly because it was hurting me to breathe, never mind inhale my Camels. Personally, I saw this as a good thing. Anything that stopped me remembering cigarrettes through rose tinted specs would reinforce my quit. Why would I want to romanticise them when I knew that they were killing me?

    I understand you need to quit on your terms - but to be honest, reading what you have said and how you have said it sounds like you have already printed out that licence to start again. :confused: We have all watched you try this so many times - it is heartbreaking every time we see that date removed again.

    I know you want to stop Karri, but I guess the question I am asking you is how are you going to make this time different?

    I don't want to sound harsh - believe me, I was in a very similar frame of mind for the six years between my last quit and this one. I am only challenging you because I want to see you succeed this time. Honest. :o

  • Karri we all know how hard it is, no need to explain. Many of us have continued to smoke for years despite advice to the contrary. I had part of my cervix removed at the age of 22 due to pre cancerous cells. They told me to stop smoking then as that is a primary cause of cervical cancer. Here I am at 38 only a mere 16 years later wondering how I have got away with it for so long :eek:

    Think I carried on smoking on a wing and a prayer all these years, going every 12 mths for my pap smear, worrying myself to death until the results came back clear. I still wanted to cling onto my beloved fags and up until now I've gambled and won. I have made myself face up to it this year as I always said I will smoke up until I reach 40 and then that's it, I have to stop. It's still not a done deal for me though, the thought of a smoke is still appealing despite what I know, how on earth can I think that way?? Because my addiction to nicotine is stronger than my fear of cancer. I know wanting to smoke is madness, it's common sense, just wish my nicotine addled brain would realise this.

    Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I understand in some small way the struggle you are having, but it can be done, you know it can ;)

  • Please understand that I was not dismissing your quit - I was attempting to strengthen it.

    I could have easily done a quick "you can do it", as I have done in the past, and will do in the future. I just felt moved to stick my neck out a bit because I am worried about you.

    No hard feelings, I hope.

  • Hi Karri,

    I hope when you have your spirometry test it comes back as you not have COPD but if it does you know it is in your hands to halt the progress of that disease as it was in mine. I can tell you that my lung function has improved greatly since I quit :D

    You know that I have struggled and struggled to stay on a quit but this time I feel different about it so I am sure that this is the turning point for me.

    You will find yours also, just keep trying and I sincerely hope that this time will be YOUR quit too.

    Gaynor x

  • :)Hi Karri, Just wanted to say All the very best in you quit, and we are all here for you as you have been here for me many a time. Keep posting too.

    Jacqui

    Quit: 14.11.11

    Proud member of the November N.O.P.E group.

    Live long and prosper.

  • All quitters have their reasons but as you say as addicts we think we can cheat the inevitable.

    What a great insight Karri and it's so true. Haven't thought much about all that stuff recently but after I wrote that post, I found my mind wandering and thought what a d*ck I have been for trying to cheat the inevitable for so long. I'm not generally the gambling type either :eek:

  • Tis very true, it's easier to help others than yourself sometimes, but in doing so you can inadvertantly find a light is suddenly shone on your own problems :)

  • Karri

    I really want to wish you the very best for your quit. You've been an asolute treasure in supporting me, and I so happy that I'm now at the end of day 2 and can look forward to you joining me. We CAN do this together.

    Quitting smoking is the best thing you can do to help. If I get a cold, I always end up with severe bronchitis. When I was a kid, I often struggled to breath during these times and I couldn't sleep unless I sat upright. It happens now -- if I get any sort of cold or flu. Although mine isn't caused by smoking, I'm sure that my habbit has made it a lot worse. What I will say, however, is that there are still many ways you can improve the condition. I managed to win several competitions in my younger days as an international athlete in between bouts of illness. Also, exersise can help improve your lungs -- I'm not talking about a three-hour gym workout, but just some moderate routines.

    Feel free to PM me if you ever feel the need to -- and I'd be honnored if you would accept the invitation to be my quit buddy! :D

  • there was a piece i read somewhere in these post [sorry been at work all night to tired to look, red it yesterday before i started work]

    anyways when u say u wanted to enjoy your last fag i had a similar thing me and my OH quit together at about 2 ish in the morning we had our last fag together but i had saved one for after he had gone to bed i wanted to have my last cigarette on my own and really take in how i felt, i remember thinking i am only breathing in and blowing out smoke at the end of the day its no big deal, i smoked that fag down to the very end and burnt my fingers but i knew i would never smoke again when i put that fag out

    i in no way romantisized it i dont think i kinda had to say goodbye to my last fag on my own with no distractions

    i wish u all the best karri

  • i knew me and OH were quitting for a good six weeks ish and i did tend to panic smoke in that time especially when i sat and thought about it

    looking back my mindset has changed so much from when i smoked you go through so many stages along the way

    last night at work i was sat on the sofas at break which are near the exit door and everyone was shivering and commenting that it was sooo cold to go and have a fag and i was saying 'dont go then' and the replys were 'i need one' 'i fancy a fag' 'i cant live without my fag' 'its worth getting cold for' etc etc it made me realise how far i had come and how truely trapped these people are and how trapped i was back then, it defied logic to go and sit in sub zero tempertures to suck on a fag

    stay strong karri u gotta get through the bad to get to the good and feel the freedom but my god it worth it

  • Anything that stopped me remembering cigarrettes through rose tinted specs would reinforce my quit. Why would I want to romanticise them when I knew that they were killing me?

    I understand you need to quit on your terms - but to be honest, reading what you have said and how you have said it sounds like you have already printed out that licence to start again.

    Karri, I wish you the best of course! Please don't dismiss the solid advice of the lovely Mrs T. Keeping fond memories of smoking, thinking of your smoking history as anything but negative (because there really is nothing positive about being addicted to a toxic substance) will be detrimental to your quit. You can have the best of intentions, be super motivated, and embrace your quit happily but within days the inner voice will challenge you like crazy and it will be so hard to keep up. You need to tell yourself over and over what evil you are getting away from. When you look at how horridly this addiction has affected your life, it will be much easier you stick with your quit. If there is even just one tiny thought that is positive of nature in regard to smoking you most likely will return to smoking as that thought will grow to a gigantic size in the midst of craves.... see craves are really not that bad but our thoughts make them enormous. So don't dismiss Mrs T and think about her advice (and mine) :)

  • Hi Karri - I can't let this thread pass without sending huge GOOD LUCK wishes. I haven't posted for ages (sounds odd maybe, but although I log in most days, all my energy is going into keeping my quit going ..).

    So tonight's the night of your last cigarette - I remember doing the same, and rationing out the last few. By the time I smoked the last one I was quite glad to be jumping off that metaphorical cliff rather than just standing there worrying about it.

    You are well prepared Karri and you can DEFINITELY do this. Shall be thinking of your Day 1 tomorrow - just take it a step at a time.

    And keep us posted - it helped me so much during the early days that I really should start 'giving back' to this site a bit more.

    Thinking of you,

    Sue

  • Karri,

    This is YOUR quit, you are doing it for you, and the way you go about it and think about it is up to you and nobody else. We ALL get pre-quit nerves, it is perfectly natural and normal. And I am going to stick MY neck out now, too. Don't let ANYBODY on this forum make you question yourself and your decisions, and tell you how you should or shouldn't think. We are all individuals.

    I want to quit, I want to succeed and I want to live a long life.

    What better reasons for quitting could there be than those you have stated? You can do this, we all can. Don't try and do it on your own, you don't need to and you don't have to. And remember that you have helped others on here too. You helped me last night, because, quite frankly, I was in such a stew about getting on a bloody train today for five long hours, I could have quite cheerfully smoked for England, but I remembered I had struck a deal with you and wanted to play fair, so I didn't. So thank you for that :D And now I expect you to stick to your part of the deal and I want to be able to read your Day 1 post soon. And don't disappear from the December group or I will eat all the cookies and start drawing on the walls again :p

    So chin up, and be strong, you CAN do this. And now I'm off to bed cos I'm cream crackered. Take care of yourself Karri.

    TC,

    Zoe xxxx

  • I'm cheering you on Karri

    I was the 'worst' smoker going. I could not, WOULD not quit. Every time I tried it was for the wrong reasons, the wrong time... it never felt right. I protected my addiction even when 'quitting'. I still had ashtrays in the house. I'd get very angry when my OH spoke of a quit. I didn't want to thnk about it, hear about it...

    This time was different - somehow I knew I'd be ready Monday morning of the 5th. I simply wanted, NEEDED what you've expressed... some quiet time the day/evening before to ENJOY my last few smokes. Now, that might sound counterintuitive but here was my reasoning.

    The thought of quitting, of standing on the edge of that cliff was already making me sad & anxious. The week before my Quit Date, I was already twitchy & grumpy, somewhat impatient & short tempered. I KNEW the first few Quit Days were going to be right nasty & I wanted some mental space, some emotional PEACE first.

    So the Sunday or rather the Saturday, I let my friends & family know that unless someone had died, I wanted no visits, no calls. I had a lie in. I took a relaxing bubble bath with book, (& my cigarettes!), then climbed right back into my nightgown. My better half was quitting Monday as well & he basically did the same thing. We spent the day on the couch watching TV. I played on the computer & read. I took a walk. I smoked. I relaxed & didn't THINk about quitting. I tried to think about nothing at all.

    It worked. By the time I went to bed I felt mentally charged up enough to make my Quit happen. I woke up Monday, didn't light that first one & haven't smoked since. I NEEDED that Prep Day. Until today, I've barely had 5 minute emotional peace. I only got my first proper night's sleep last night & over the past 2 weeks, had enough physical withdrawl issues to make a heroin addict cringe - for me it's literally been that bad. I'm past the worst now; physically & I'm well aware it's not nearly that bad, (physically) for most... I was simply that badly addicted to cigarettes.

    We probably all have somewhat unique ways of approaching a successful Quit. CT would be a nightmare for me - it never worked before. NOTHING worked before. This time, for reasons I haven't yet sorted out in my own mind - I knew it was time. I had the attitude, Champix, support at home & among extended family & I insisted on MY day of preparation - no matter what anyone else thought of it. After all, it was MY Quit.

    And that's my long winded way of saying that to you - yhis is YOUR Quit. YOU know you best. If you're convinced that's what will give you the best chance of success - that's what you do. There are plenty of right ways & wrong ways to quit. As far as I'm concerned, the right way for anyone is what works for them... no matter what addiction they're trying to quit.

    You go girl & I'll think strong, supportive thoughts for you all day tomorrow. I have a day at hospital getting boring baseline tests - nothing to worry about but I'll have 4 hours to kill. I plan to walk the lakeshore & think of all my fellow Quitters here - all the wonderful things we're doing for ourselves.

  • Don't let ANYBODY on this forum make you question yourself and your decisions, and tell you how you should or shouldn't think.

    You got to be kidding me. No one was doing the above. Good grief :rolleyes:

    Not even going to feed into this....... Karri, I wish you the best and you know that I want you to succeed which ever way you chose to go about it. All I want you to think is this.... if you were to face a bear that was about to rip you apart you would run the other way.... no doubt, no questioning, no thinking 'oh the bear is kinda cute, maybe he would give me a big cuddle'.... no you would run and when you got far away and were safe you would be grateful to still live and live happily. That's what I want you to think of when you quit.... you're getting away from something that controls every part of your life and when you get back your control you will be so happy. There will be nothing to miss. Then only reason you think you will miss it is because of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of not coping, etc.... but fear is only there if you look at it all the wrong way, nothing to fear when you have everything to gain. hugs, shoot me a pm sometime bella xx

  • karri as always i wish you the very best and always hope that you will quit!

    as you can see on this forum it is so possible and everyone is different and goes about their quitting differently but one thing is the same with all successful quitters...their desire to quit is as strong as steel, otherwise they would still be smoking!!

    i have faith in you karri, please choose life...ya gotta get through the bad to make it to the good....and the good is so worth it!! take care hun:)

  • thanks karri :D

    keep trying ---you gotta know you are worth it and you really gotta want it--like you said--you need the desire and no matter how hard it gets your desire to better your life will keep you from lighting up and then all of a sudden it gets easier as you make it through lifes challenges without a cig...in the begining it sounds scary--i know but after a while the thought of lighting up again is way scarier!! all the best!!

    :)

    there is a better life waiting --just for you!!

You may also like...