I have, in the last month, had 3 cigarettes. One on Monday 10th and two on Wednesday 12th.
The one on Monday was in the early hours, after a very stressful shift. The worst thing was, I got through the shift. I was at home where I convinced myself I needed a ciggie, because of the stress I was caused. But I had got through it.
The next two on the Wednesday. My husband is dealing with a problem with the tax credit office. He was talking to them. I convinced myself I was annoyed and needed a ciggie to calm down. The next, was at work when I admitting to a friend what happened. Another colleague, smugly said she knew I would fail. I was hurt by the remark, and promptly proved her right.
It was here that I realised what I was doing. I wanted an excuse to break my quit. I was looking for it. I had to make a decision. I am either a smoker or a non smoker. What is it I wanted to be?
I am here. I am cheating slightly because of the 3, but I am a non smoker.