Day 10 on the edge

I am really not sure I can do this - or even that I want to do it any more... the cravings, sense of something missing and lack of sleep are getting too much to bear - Day 4 I had a 6 hour craving, Day 5 I went to see the Royal Philharmonic at the Royal Albert with a 500 strong choir and all I could think about was fags, Day 6 I chewed everyone at work's head off all day then went home and cried, Day 7&8 I had a throat infection (didn't want to smoke tho'), Day 9 I held it together at work but depressed and cried all evening and Day 10 - today - I can't think of a single thing except fags - and I have a pile of work for a deadline at the end of the day.

I keep trying to think of my incentives but the main one doesn't really work for me any more, I can't walk around the block because my hips are so bad at the mo, food / water doesn't help and my jaw hurts from chewing gum...

Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I don't think I even want a fag - I just want to be able to forget about the mourning and concentrate on my work (which a fag would facilitate!)...

6 Replies

  • Stanley

    I reckon if you battle through today and the weekend everything will seem OK come Monday.

    Most people say the first 10 days are the worst, on the plus side you are free of nicotine and have been for a few days, what youneed to concentrate on is re-training the mind and plugging those gaps when you would usually be smoking.

    I'm not saying it's easy, far from it, but the battle is well worth winning so stick with it.

    Good luck !

  • Thanks Karri and Horse - your kind and swift comments made me cry (not hard the state I'm in and what with the hayfever it doesn't show)... I didn't think it would be easy but I guess I really thought / hoped that the Champix was going to help me with the feeling of loss I have felt on past quits as this has always been my quitting quitting point!

    Oh well, I do hope you're right Horse - this weekend is going to be a toughie in itself - away from home and surrounded by smokers - but at least the host is one of those people who says she will never start again as quitting was so hard...

  • LOL - I make women cry every day, usually the wife, and this is achieved easily by simply coming home....

  • I don't believe a word of it Horse - not unless you are as grumpy, angry and a**y as I am ;)

  • still trying...

    Hi again

    Thanks for your support on Friday and thanks for checking in on me Karri :)

    I am ashamed to say that I caved on Friday night and lit one up... I had managed to get myself into such a state that I couldn't see past it and I was petrified of getting more deeply depressed than I already felt (my last quit I was prescribed anti-depressants but ended up smoking again instead).

    BUT I am relieved to say that it was seriously horrible - and didn't even hit the spot I wanted it to - so I only had (nearly) one and never want to do it again! The feeling of poisoning myself, coupled with the hideous smell that followed me around and a really sore throat the day after, has strengthened my resolve and I now feel like I am in control again.

    Just got back from a lovely night in the country with friends - around half smokers - and I can't say it was easy but it was easier than I was dreading and I am proud of myself :D

    I am hoping that I can call it a blip rather than have to start from day 1 again which would be seriously dispiriting (don't know what the rules are though and don't want to cheat ;) )

    I was on day 10 on Friday so I had to redo day 10 again yesterday and am safely into day 11... feeling optimistic...

  • There are no forum rules, only rules we impose on ourselves. Nobody will ever be ignored here whether they have a minor or major blip or down right fail. All 3 have happened to me in my quest for life long freedom.

    Personally, I would not say 1 (or less) ciggies means I have to start from day one. So long as it stops there...... If I was on a diet, I wouldn't think one biscuit meant I had blown my diet. Ok, maybe not a great example as most of us aren't addicted to biscuits, chocolate, cheese....... you get my meaning though.

    I don't believe there any personal attacks in this thread, just some support for someone who has, like many of us, had a blip.

    Hope you manage to carry on with your quit Stanley, we are all behind you :D

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