Diary of 4 months Quit (PART 1)

[CamperPete]

Not sure what area of the forum i should have put this but seeing as it may help others then here it is.

From day 1 of my quit i've kept an online diary, the 1st month on a daily basis and monthly there after.

It helps me when i'm feeling a bit low to read back on this to see what i've gone through to get where i am and why i don't ever want to go back :mad:

Please remember this is MY personal journey and all symptoms may not be as intense (or for as long) as your personal quit so newbies do NOT be disheartened........ it gets better

At 12,000 characters then it's too large for 1 post (10,000 is the limit) so i've split it across 2 posts.........

Day 1 (1st Jan 2011) -

Hung over from the celebrations from the night before and the thought of a family meal later that day in a pub didn't help my resolve but i managed to get through my first full day with no cigarettes in over 30 years.

Day 2 -

Coped better than i thought i would. Think i was still on a high from achieving first day with no ciggies from yesterday. Had In-laws round for a meal. Was worried about drinking whilst stopping smoking but found the merriment of the drink actually took the edge of the cravings.

Only using one Inhalator cartridge per day.

Day 3 -

Struggled a bit more today, a lot of disturbed sleep and didn't realise Inhalator doesn't work well in low temperatures (3c today but i should have read the supplied leaflet better).

Day 4 -

First day back at work after 10 days of festive hols. Really struggling. Informed all colleagues of my plight and to forewarn them that i may be a bit ratty for the next week or two.... or three!!

Day 5 -

Another disturbed night sleep, only had 3 hours sleep. Woke to find dog had opened side garage door and strewn contents of the paper recycling bag all over back garden, had to take him for walk before work in the pouring rain, had slight disagreement with the wife before leaving for work. Really irritated today, hope no-one upsets me!

Day 6 -

Last night was by far my worse, disturbed sleep again, when i did sleep had nightmares, when i woke (which was often) i wanted a ciggie........... which i never did when i did smoke .Drove to work this morning and all i could think about was 'just one little puff' (so to speak ). Me thinks today is gonna be a real tester for me

Day 7 -

Another sleepness night (when will this end!!!). Almost completed my first full week without a ciggie but that damn "Nicodemon" keeps gnawing at me like a virus with teeth. Had a couple of puffs of my Nicorette Inhalator already. It's a hard day for me today as i'm on my own at home, can't go out until lunch so no one to talk to except the dog. I'm sooooooo irritable, poor dog got a shouting at for just wanting to play (have apologised to him and gave him a cuddle). The only thing that's saved me so far is the guys on the "Stop Smoking Day Stop Smoking Forum. You get all the encouragement you need from people giving up to at varying levels of success......... they're stars!!!.

Day 8 -

Yet another sleepless night, been awake since 2:30am. Grumpy as hell, don't want to speak to anyone

Day 9 -

Got 7 hrs sleep last night but think that's only because of the lack of sleep i've been getting. Struggling today, cravings don't seem to want to go away

Day 10 -

Back to disturbed sleep again, been awake on and off since 1:30am Cravings less today but feel sort of empty inside

Day 11 -

Cravings still here (along with the disturbed sleep) but not as intense as last few days. Ate like a pig last night to try and stem off boredom and some cravings.Joined Nicorette's "Activestop" prorgam from their website. It emails and texts you daily and you have to keep a bit of an online diary...... not overly impressed with it so far.

Day 12 -

Another bad nights sleep. Tina has now relegated me to spare room indefinitely as keeping her awake also. Feel a lot better about myself today, cravings not as intense (although the blighters are there). Treated myself to new Harmonica and Learn to play book as it'll give something to do with my hands and i've always wanted to play............. just need to remember not to play it late at night when i can't sleep!!!

Day 13 -

Still not sleeping. Cravings bad this morning. Tina's birthday so booked a meal with plenty of alchohol for tonight, i know i'll be fine with the cravings.

Day 14 - Slept better but could be due to alchohol. Wow, 2 weeks into being a non-smoker, feels good, no cravings this mornings until around 11am but still wouldn't want a ciggie if someone offered.

Day 15 -

Yep, you guessed it, another crap nights sleep!. Hardly had any cravings yesterday but they've started early today, seem to be handling them better though. Out on the alchohol tonight so we'll see how that goes.

Day 16 -

Not even going to mention the sleep aspect. Moody as hell today (partly due to hang over). Cravings quite bad this evening.

Day 17 -

Shattered now, need sleep, face feels like it's been hit in the face with a shovel. Cravings bad this morning. Broke tooth on one of the many sweets i've been eating......that's gonna be expensive to fix.

Day 18 -

Damn, this is hard work, thought it would get better. Cravings bad again today, i'm not a happy bunny once again.

Day 19 -

Oooh i need to sleep, no problems getting to sleep but staying that way for more than 2hrs would be so nice. I'm so tired that it brings me down and i can feel it wearing away at my resolve to quit.

Day 20 -

Slept better last night but knew i would through lack of sleep the previous night. Feel a lot better today and seem to be dismissing the cravings a bit more easily. Can't believe it'll be 3 weeks tomorrow, it's gone so fast.

Day 21 -

Well it's here at last, 3 weeks wow!. Struggled with cravings last night and a bit edgy this morning (probably due to disturbed sleep again). I'm learning to shrug the cravings off but sometimes they can be very intense and you really have to have a mental fight with yourself. Cancelled "Nicorette's Activestop" program yesterday as it's not for me. I get all the help i need from the No Smoking Day (NSD) forum, I'm now at the position where i can help others who are going through the first few days and weeks of quitting which really helps and motivates me.

Day 22 -

Just lost my santity. Having some friends round tonight with a fire in the garden (no intention of burning them...... yet) and was trying set up some sort of shelter but was having some issues when i could feel myself getting a mass craving and in turn getting more stressed and stressed and stressed when BANG i lost it, I was screaming in the garden F'ing and Geffing and kicking the shit out of the shed....... wife went inside (and took the dog), neighbours hid behind curtains. I ended up facing a corner with my head against the wall taking deep breaths to try and calm myself. Anyway, i'm calm now, not had a ciggie thank god

continued on the "Diary of 4 months Quit (PART 2)" thread ......forum.nosmokingday.org.uk/s...