Bit desperate...

[nsd_user663_12817]

Dear all,

Apologies in advance for this rant, but I would desperately love to hear any advice, or anything from anyone who's been in a situation like mine. I've smoked for 6 years, and had cut down from about 15 a day, every day, to 5 cigarrettes 4 days a week. I was feeling good about this and reckoned I could stop. I was mostly just worried about missing my morning fag!

So last week, having had a nasty wee health problem which smoking really doesn't help crop up, I decided to stop. I had 3 up until about 2pm and then trotted off to Boots for nicotine gum. Big mistake. The next morning, I woke up, had breakfast, sat down at my computer ready to work and this massive wave of nausea washed over me. It was anxiety nausea, which always happens to me when I'm anxious. So, on my first quit day, I lasted a full hour. Well done.

Since then, things have spiralled out of control. I've gone up from my wee 5 a day to more like 20, more than I've ever smoked before. I got up at 6am on Sunday morning and walked a mile in the rain to find the only 24 hr shop open, and smoked 10 fags in one sitting. I realised this couldn't go on, and went to my doctor.

She told me I had to address my chronic anxiety before stopping smoking and now I'm on a mixture of diazepam and beta blockers. The diazepam seems to help. I don't feel spaced out, just more like "me" again, but I know I can't take it for more than a week or so, and that my anxiety will be unbearable once I'm off it. I know smoking is tied up with anxiety for me, pretty much nothing else. On the 3 days a week when I never used to smoke, I never craved it.However, if I don't have it all day, every day now, the nausea gets too much and I just crack. I've heard scare stories that people with anxiety disorders will often experience horrific anxiety relapses if they try to quit smoking, so I feel like I'm consigned to it forever, dealing with a physical/mental illness just doesn't seem to allow me to give up or even go 10 mins without one now.

I'm so sorry for the rant, but would appreciate hearing anyone else's responses. Many thanks, and good luck to all the quitters out there...

[nsd_user663_3910]

Hi Jenny, really sorry you are having such a tough one. I can relate a little to the anxiety of giving up smoking, not on such a grand scale, but it was around 3 months before I could actually think long term about not smoking. Before that I really had to mentally tell myself that it was just for today and not think about tomorrow cos I could feel the panic attack coming. You wouldn't have panicked when cutting down cos you knew that you could still have one, but it's thinking that you can't which changes the whole psychological thing.

You have to try to really tune in on what is happening today with regards to smoking and dealing with things without that cigarette for today only. Don't worry about tomorrow, it will come and you will deal with it in the same way, just one day at a time. Most of us didn't or still can't think of it long term, so that's why one day is so important. I'm not saying it's easy, but you will find ways of calming yourself, just remember, ONE day at a time, don't think about not smoking tomorrow or next week, just today.

Good luck and keep in touch.

Lorraine

[nsd_user663_5028]

Dear all,

Apologies in advance for this rant, but I would desperately love to hear any advice, or anything from anyone who's been in a situation like mine. I've smoked for 6 years, and had cut down from about 15 a day, every day, to 5 cigarrettes 4 days a week. I was feeling good about this and reckoned I could stop. I was mostly just worried about missing my morning fag!

So last week, having had a nasty wee health problem which smoking really doesn't help crop up, I decided to stop. I had 3 up until about 2pm and then trotted off to Boots for nicotine gum. Big mistake. The next morning, I woke up, had breakfast, sat down at my computer ready to work and this massive wave of nausea washed over me. It was anxiety nausea, which always happens to me when I'm anxious. So, on my first quit day, I lasted a full hour. Well done.

Since then, things have spiralled out of control. I've gone up from my wee 5 a day to more like 20, more than I've ever smoked before. I got up at 6am on Sunday morning and walked a mile in the rain to find the only 24 hr shop open, and smoked 10 fags in one sitting. I realised this couldn't go on, and went to my doctor.

She told me I had to address my chronic anxiety before stopping smoking and now I'm on a mixture of diazepam and beta blockers. The diazepam seems to help. I don't feel spaced out, just more like "me" again, but I know I can't take it for more than a week or so, and that my anxiety will be unbearable once I'm off it. I know smoking is tied up with anxiety for me, pretty much nothing else. On the 3 days a week when I never used to smoke, I never craved it.However, if I don't have it all day, every day now, the nausea gets too much and I just crack. I've heard scare stories that people with anxiety disorders will often experience horrific anxiety relapses if they try to quit smoking, so I feel like I'm consigned to it forever, dealing with a physical/mental illness just doesn't seem to allow me to give up or even go 10 mins without one now.

I'm so sorry for the rant, but would appreciate hearing anyone else's responses. Many thanks, and good luck to all the quitters out there...

Hi Jenny welcome to the board ...phew your'e having a tough time there Jen, and to be honest i am not sure what other advise i could give, you say the doctor has advised you to tackle your aniexty problems first and she prescribed diazepam and beta blockers, did she say how long you would be on these meds for ? has she offered any alternative to taking the meds, councelling anything like that to try and get to the root of the problem ?

you say you never use to smoke 3 days a week and you never craved for them either, so on them days you never had a morning fag ...Jen you coped then and you can go back to the three days till your doctor decides the next course of action, just try to relax and think to yourself... ok i want to give up smoking i know that i never smoked this much before so why am i now ... you have to tell yourself also that you are getting help from the Doctor so for the time being i will go back to my three days and in between i will be able to have that dreaded first cig that way you may calm down and cut all the smoking down to what it was before, your doctor then will help you with everything else till then i suggest you do as she advises .... i am not advocating you smoking Jenny in fact i admire you as you go through this but you need to recieve more qualified advise than i could offer ...... you can always stay here too and join in on the forum get to know people in the same boat read some of the grerat signatures memebers have and prepare yourself for all the fears, symptons, and any advise they will give ...good luck Jenny dont become a stranger we are all her to help each other one way or another ....

[nsd_user663_4786]

Hi Jenny and welcome to the forum. This is a great place to get help and support.

Firstly do not worry about ranting on here, most of us have done it many times!

I was, and still am, a lot like Lorraine, I spent the first week or two of quitting saying "today I choose not smoke" and sometime "I choose not to smoke for the next hour". I could not possibly think about not smoking for the long term.

I would suggest you read the links in mine and others signitures, also spend sometime reading others posts from the first few days/weeks, all this will hopefully help you see that you are not on your own and what you are going through is normal for you.

Post often and let us know how you are getting on, there is always someone around to offer advice or just an ear for listening.

Good luck.

[nsd_user663_10813]

Hello Jenny,

first off-so glad you have found this forum. As quit aid it is the most useful tool there is. Always someone to chat to, get support, offer support -and feel less lonely. stick with us.

I did have similar problems. and feel free to pm me if you need to talk

when you are ready -and you really need to be well equipped and calm- I would advise you use the inhalator as well as patches.

sure the doc will guide you-and this is only my own opinion -but so far it has got me down the road to 2 months afetr smoking for 36 years.

you will find that the anxiety actually decreases - honest

use the time now to read up all the info on here. excellent words in peoples signatures about why we feel as we do-what to do about it -what to expect.

especially comforting to know when anxious .I didnt know before this site that funny dreams are quite usual

take heart Jenny-you will soon be on the no smoke road alongside us.

go see doc. dont think just the gum is enough.xxx

[nsd_user663_1658]

Hi jenny

A big hug to you i too heard them horror stories a good while ago about anxiety/depression & quitting smoking........ Im telling you now, that you will be just fine on your quit xxx it will be the best & one of the most confidence boosting things you will do.

It will be a struggle,like for all of us at first. Just Keep close with your doctors ideas about your quit...You cannot lose

Glad to have met you keep on posting xxx

[nsd_user663_12817]

Dear all,

Thank you so much for your kindness, I really appreciate it and it makes me feel a lot better. Stopping smoking is something I am determined to do, for my own health, the health of the kids I want to have in future and generally because I want to lose it as my anxiety crutch. I'm glad to have addressed the anxiety problem first, as it will hopefully help me thinking about quitting from a better place.

I admire you all so much for being strong and keeping going - it is, I know, the greatest acheivement for yourself and everyone else. I will work hard to get to that place where I can be stronger. It might ot happen right away, but I will get there. Big hugs to you all...x

[nsd_user663_3910]

Jenny, I wish you every success on your mission, I am absolutely positive that you have the strength to find your way through this, and I look forward to seeing you on here. Get yourself strong in mind and body and come bouncing back, speak soon.

Lorraine