Why do old habits die hard???

Well today i should be on day 14 of the quit.......but no i'm back to day 1......

How come the first sign of a bit of life drama is it that i hop myself into the car straight to the nearest tobacco selling establishment and without hesitation calmly and politely ( baring in mind inside I am raging) ask the nice gentleman behind the counter for 20 silk cut purple. As soon as I get outside the shop I am trying to unwrap them as fast as I physically can light up and instantly feeingl like it has resolved the drama, when in fact it hasn't the problem is still there when i get home!!!!!

I don't get it......now i have looked at it in a non rage filled light......how can i go from being calm enough to ask for them politely......and behave like a normal human being then as soon as i leave i'm like some form of thing possessed trying to get into the packet!!!

I think i should bar myself from any shop that sell ciggies within a 20 mile radius or hope in vain that some nice gentleman behind the counter asks me for ID and because i don't carry photo ID refuses to serve me ( now that isn't likely to happen but there was always a small hope!!;))

Anyway thats my weekend events........ Hope you all had a more successful one and enjoyed the brilliant weather :)

5 Replies

  • wow that post has just nailed nicotine addiction up in one neat paragraph, it hits when you least expect it, makes even the most manic person act rational when it comes to feeding that addiction. Dont ever beat yourself up about it this will only make you come back stronger..

  • lots of insight and self awareness in your post-empathise hugely. we all probably have done it when stress strikes -only to realise of course after the first so called hit of nicotine -nowt has changed.

    I got to the point of thinking of my next one half way through the first one.:mad:

    today is nearly over -good luck tomorrow-you know you will do it .

    hope all is well and the stress has passed xx

  • Just hope that it has taken away all the problems you were dealing with, but I bet it hasnt.

    I am so sad for you and wonder are you still smoking or did they make you feel sick and gutted so you threw them away, nope I get the feeling you didnt, right if you didnt throw them away and intend to keep them I want you to do the same as I have done and that is get them and put them in a tin if you have one or leave them in the carton.

    Celetape them up well and good and then get a felt tip pen and write on them a few of the reasons why you are quitting, that done you put them high up somewehere so that you have to climb to get them, then you will have to read that before you can reopen them, this way you will be given time to think before you smoke and it will be something you have chosen as your reason to quit, other than that just dont put yourself in that situation at home.

    Walk away if you can .

  • m33et

    I feel really bad for you ....i know exactly what you mean with the shop situation asking politely but bubbling inside with anger ..dissapointment ..prob every emotion ..then getting outside & being a druggy needing a hit...Dont mean to sound like ive been there done that ...but i have quite a few times & its horrible ...I remember feeling depressed & disgusted with myself for once again failing my quit ........Well you know what ..you know now... next time you will be stronger in that situation to fight on..........unclear whether youve began ure quit again or still smoking? Keep posting let us know xxx:)

  • I got them on sat mid morning and continued to smoke until about 3pm yesterday..... so they have all gone now........I had my third visit to smoking clinic today and confessed all......have been on the patches and inhalator all day..... so i am just coming to the end of my second day one and i don't intend to revisit day one again going to think of another way to deal with drama.....not the intend to have many more dramas either...... I did feel a complete let down more so today when colleagues had asked how i got on over the weekend as they have been very supportive and i had to say that i'd broken.....and you could see in their eyes that they had some how expected it!! So i plan to prove to myself and everybody else i can and will do this. I so want to be a non smoker. Thank you all for your support and advice but you will all only hear positives from now on!

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