My confusion with non smokers who smoke!

OK, I'm a bit miffed............

Decided to spend some of the $$'s Ive saved not smoking and booked in with my beautician for some waxing (PS more painful as a non smoker, must be the nerve endings) he he. Anyway I dont see her much but when I do its chat chat chat, Ive always been paranoid in the past about her smelling smoke on me and have sucked mints, sprayed perfume etc, because I was certain she couldnt be a smoker, shes 40, attractive with amazing skin, curvy, professional husband, 2 kids and one has asthma, very clean living, I know you should never make assumptions, but you just do.

Well she was chatting about wanting to cut down on alcohol and she was on a diet, I then told her I was able to afford this treat as I'd quit smoking, she seemed a bit coy and I said 'I suppose you've never smoked?', OOOh yes she said, smoked for many years......even in early pregnancy, then managed to quit 8 years ago as she felt too bad about it and her hubby was anti smoking. Well I thought I'd found an ally, I opened up about it all, how hard it was but rewarding etc, she agreed, then dropped the bombshell............But when I meet up with certain friends I'll just chainsmoke all night and it doesnt affect me!!!!!.........I'd heard enough at this point but then she elaborated......I just loved smoking, I miss it, it was so great when I smoked! I could have flaming cried, I politely told her she shouldn't do it as it's just plain daft, then left feeling deflated!!

Seems social smoking is sooooo in fashion, my neighbour does it, she's been quit 6 years but still sparks up when she's blind drunk, she once asked me for one (when I smoked) and I wondered was there any point quitting just to be reduced to this even after 6 years?

How can I avoid these potential pitfalls? I want to be a strong ex-smoker, smoking socially or when drunk to me is weakness surely?

One of my goals is to amend my life insurance which costs us £70 a month as smokers, this will go down to £24 after 12 months of no tobacco use. But surely if these occasional smokers were to die and they had non-smoking life insurance, would they be covered? I'm really interested in that question as I am 'clean' and they are not!!

Hey social smokers, either quit or dont, just stop screwing with my head ha ha ha !!

Rant over, my quit is going lovely, thanks for allowing me to let off steam no smoking day xx

9 Replies

  • Oh God - I hate these folk who say they can go out and smoke , have fun then leave it.

    Sorry - but i think they are lying Shelly.I know - and you know -just one will send us back.

    was out in garden today -so much rubbish to clear and I so wanted a cig to sit back with and admire my handiwork. just thought though -I woudnt have have had the energy two weeks ago -so enjoy your cuppa stupid woman:D:D

    know what you mean about insurance companies though. Think I read somewhere recently that smokers are going to get better deals because they know we will die sooner.

    big wake up call eh?

    your quit is fab -love it xx

  • Thanks Sky you're a diamond, always there with your support, and obviously hanging in there too, great aren't we?? :D

    You are right, I'd never tempt social smoking, seems pathetic that you can rid yourself of this gruesome substance, then indulge in it again to be social!? No thanks, I'm well aware of the dangers of alcohol, I wont be fooled promise. A charming friend told me she preferred me when i smoked, I was more fun.......I am actually 100 times more fun since i quit, smokers can be quite transparent in their denial!!

    Well done on your gardening, you may have seen my other posts, my biggest trigger was the garden, I'm proud to say I have a gorgeous country garden which I adore, but I smoked in it constantly, so I've not seen much of it for 10 weeks & I was dreading gardening, especially at the weekend if we had a beer, so ive avoided it, however the weeds grew 4ft high so past 2 afternoons I've tackled it, no real craves, just wonder what to do when I need to rest my achy back for 5 mins, had a cuppa just like you!!

    Dont think I would get any deals on the life insurance, it is afterall paid out upon death, and thats why the premium is £70. Cant wait to inform them we are both tobacco free, thats another £50 saved per month.

    Shelly xx

  • Hi Shelly ,

    Insurance companies I have given up on!! but with youngsters I empathise . You need it - and I just get mad -at the people who lie and push our premiums up - and also the stupid folk who drive their cars too fast etc.

    rant over . I know we shoudnt smoke - but hey - there are lots of people out there who are toxic to the human race far more than we were.

    love gardening . I mean shopping , planning and reading Gardeners world.

    but I now feel energy to put some stuff into action.:D:D

    Will think of you when supping cuppa with a face like a bulldog

    keep going my love eh ? xx

  • I appreciate your input hussy, but I will re-iterate that smoking IS the hardest thing I have ever done! On a physical and emotional level, it is an addiction.

    I appreciate that I am lucky that I will hopefully not be saying goodbye to family members any time soon, but i have lost loved ones, and know that is a different type of pain.

    I am not torturing myself with cigarettes as you put it, but trying to recover from an addiction. And I would never be critical to anyone who was possibly dying from a smoking illness, I just wish they could have found the help that we are lucky to have found!

    Thank you

  • Hi Shelly, I agree with most of the comments on this thread, but would like to say that I do not think there are in reality any social smokers only, my father in law gave up 5 years ago, I don’t think so, he has lead all except a few of us to believe he no longer is a puffer but does smoke and more than he lets on.

    I also have a friend who used to try and kid me she only smoked at weekends and until I quit I believed her, so why did she lie to me.

    When I finally quit I said to her you stink of fags, she then had to admit that she was more than just a weekend smoker, it starts with them convincing there selves they can do the social smoke, but then they slip back to full timers.

    What is the point , I will not risk one puff that would take me back to how I was before I quit, oh so never never, 1 hours smoking a day in exchange for this I don’t think so do you, I value my new found health and quality of life too much to do that x

  • I have a friend who smokes at work on a Monday and Tuesday, and smokes on girls night outs, but never with her family, partner, at home, on holiday or anywhere else. I find it so weird that she can be a smoker for 2 days a week but at no other time:confused:

    She is a very good friend and we go on holiday with our families together every year, so I know she is telling the truth as in the 5 years we have been away she never once asked me for a cigarette, and she had plenty of opportunity. She just says that she doesn't think about it at all any other time. And yet she was a regular smoker until about 3 years ago, gave up for a year, and then started doing this.

    There's nowt as funny as folk:D

  • The one thing that worries me is that they think if they only smoke now and then they are risk free, they are not, they are still at risk of all the smoke related diseases, and they will still die younger than they should.

    And the heart is effected greater as it keeps getting blast of carbon monoxide through the arteries.

    I can scare myself into never smoking again :LOL

  • I totally agree Angie, why would we ever risk it? I know when I get a bit merry I drop my guard so I will approach every social occasion warily, but I dont get why people would want to make themselves stink just to be social. Personally I have nothing but contempt for cigarettes now, they will never have control over me again .

    Vicstar it reminds me of Allen Carrs book, he helped people who smoked socially, even people who allowed themselves 1 cigarette a day rather than quit. All I can say is that these people must have amazing self control, but rather as Carr says they suffer craving and withdrawal the same as a normal smoker, just on a longer and worse scale. Imagine smoking on monday and tuesday then going without the rest of the week, that must be hellish!

    I'm sticking to a good old fashioned 100% quit, no puffs, NOWT............maybe a sly sniff of a passerby smoking he he

    Skylark I am still imagining you with a face like a bulldog in your garden, it doesn't sound pretty, stick a big smile on your face , you'll soon feel better xx

  • this is an interesting thread . I never smoked during the day for years -but fell on them like someone possessed when I got home in the evening.

    the thought of a cig never crossed my mind -even at break times.

    however I lit up at weekends all day. somehow in my mind I associated smoking with reward .

    this is my big struggle now. but I will never take another puff -know it will have me back big time if I do.

    Shelly-I am a smiling bulldog now. hubby is going to hire me out at Halloween to scare the local children:D:D


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