Don't know if I really want to go into details, but I suppose it may help.
I am back to day 1, and if I am truly honest this has been coming for sometime. I have been looking for excuses to have one for a while and last night my plan came together! I went out with a friend, had a really good night we went back to their house where their OH was smoking and not only smoking but smoking my brand so I asked if I could have one, I ended up having two and only stopped then because the packet was empty.
Some will say this was just a blip, no need to go back to the beginning, but I had my blip at New Year and what am I going to do confess to a blip once a month and just carry on? No I can't do that.
I think I know where I went wrong, I stopped reading the links, I stopped reinforcing my quit, I got fed up with the battle and thought I could do the just one or two, but today I want a fag, I have not had one and I will not have one because today is my day one.
So there you have it, I can't quite work out if I should be really proud for coming and fessing up, or if I should be really ashamed, but hey it really doesn't matter, what matters is that
TODAY I CHOOSE NOT TO SMOKE.
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You should be really proud - hope it helped to put it all down in words.
And if today is day one instead of day many - so be it, day one is better than day never. Don't be too harsh on yourself - I'm sure you'll learn from this experience and will be a successful quitter from now on.
I can't quite work out if I should be really proud for coming and fessing up, or if I should be really ashamed, but hey it really doesn't matter, what matters is that
TODAY I CHOOSE NOT TO SMOKE.
Exactly, it doesn't matter .... only the choice you make now, each moment and each day counts
Thanks for posting about it though Bev........ reading how your plan came together has made me recognise that a little almost unconscious planning in my mind has been almost forming.
Well, what more is there to say? Read, read and read more and yeah..... don't plan to do it again
Hi Bev lifes a bitch and then you have a fag, I have to be honest and say that since a week last monday after getting blood results I have been desperate for a cig and how I havent had one I do not know prob because have read every scary thing about cancer and heart disease I can find to defeat the demons, I think you are very brave to admit it and Im not sure if I slipped I would be able to come on here again oh I dont know maybe its because it is so miserable and dark and like you I am feeling Low.
I send you HUGS and an outstretched hand to pull you along.
Its not easy is it but we will all get there eventually xx
Well done bev great to see you have not gave in to them cigarettes and continued to smoke.
I know what you mean about the blips, there has to be a point when you say that was not a blip, otherwise your teling your nicotine monster without realising its ok to smoke the odd cigarettes.:eek:It happened with me last year just kept noticing my blips was getting closer and closer.Untill i realised i was smoking again:eek:
Well done its not easy to put yourself back to day 1 but i think you made the right choice. Look forward to reading your posts
You should be proud chick. It's happened to more than a few and i'm sure it will happen to more in the future. My quit before this one had me looking for an excuse to smoke after a while. I'd done allen carr and the novelty just wore off I think. You're right. It is a battle. We are all addicts and will always be addicts. The trick is to face the fear and beat it, eventually it will stick.
I am very proud you have jumped right back on. I say it all the time but that takes alot of strength. I couldn't do it.
Guys for all your words of support, I thank you. I just read the above and it reinforced in me that one of the reasons my last quit failed was the failure to keep reading, so I want to tell you, all of you, but mainly the people with a fairly long quit, please keep reading it is important not to forget that you are and allways will be an addict, and information is key to keeping smoke free.
Don't know if I really want to go into details, but I suppose it may help.
I am back to day 1, and if I am truly honest this has been coming for sometime. I have been looking for excuses to have one for a while and last night my plan came together! I went out with a friend, had a really good night we went back to their house where their OH was smoking and not only smoking but smoking my brand so I asked if I could have one, I ended up having two and only stopped then because the packet was empty.
Some will say this was just a blip, no need to go back to the beginning, but I had my blip at New Year and what am I going to do confess to a blip once a month and just carry on? No I can't do that.
I think I know where I went wrong, I stopped reading the links, I stopped reinforcing my quit, I got fed up with the battle and thought I could do the just one or two, but today I want a fag, I have not had one and I will not have one because today is my day one.
So there you have it, I can't quite work out if I should be really proud for coming and fessing up, or if I should be really ashamed, but hey it really doesn't matter, what matters is that
TODAY I CHOOSE NOT TO SMOKE.
Bevy, dont ever think you have failed,,
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts. , so carry on with the knowledge, you didnt enjoy that feeling of giving in, and that to carry on you dont need that cancer stick..
WTF :eek: You didn't!! I'm not even gonna say anything about this, Bev Sigh.... okay, back to day 1 for you.... and no cat pics :mad:
Can't believe you found it within yourself to get right back to your quit (guess you get kudos for that :rolleyes If you struggle the next couple of days ask for help okay. We're all just a few key strokes away xx
Bev, I absolutely admire your honesty and your commitment by getting straight back on with the quit.
Look ahead always, not behind, keep positive and strong and get on with the quit. You know where you fell down, happened to me after a much shorter time last year, I got complacent and thought just one would be ok, then the rest is history.
You can definitely be proud of yourself for your strength and commitment.
Oh Bev so sorry but so pleased that you have piched yourself up and started all over again. I hear exactly what you are saying about the subconscious plan forming and shall be on my guard. Take care and see you around here
Hi Bev. Been there, planned it. The only difference was that the pal I was going to scrounge a fag off had unexpectedly quit!!! If they hadn't I would've smoked one. How strange after 3 months that I should feel like that. Lucky escape as I don't think I would have been strong enough to get straight back on the wagon. Well done you for keeping on the path even after 2 fags. You're a stronger person than I am.
I'd not spotted this post earlier, wish i had i was far more awake then.
Bev, while i'm sorry to see the post, if the events are indeed as you say then the smoking was a pre-meditated thing anyway in that you knew it was going to happen, it was just a matter of when and how many you'd end up smoking
Do you go back to day 1? or do you declare it a blip and carry on while fully acknowledgeing the blip of x amount of cigs? Tough call, but easily answered.. you do what is right for you. It doesnt' matter if 70% of us on here plays the hard line of blip and back to day 1, or if 70% of us on here would say 'hey carry on it was just a blip'... what does matter is how you personally feel on the matter.
Basically, we are not judge, jury or anything that has a say in what you do with regards post-smoke actions. You are your own judge, and you've decided to return to day 1 and as such we will support you in that decision as much as we possibly can.
I respect your decision totally, but right now build from the experience you gained in previous months while you were quit.. we cannot change the events of the smoking, but you can recover from it and i'm sure you've already learned a lesson from it in that the smokes actually aint all that anyway.
I wish you well at the moment, and the determination to forge forwards again as you have done before.
Peace and respect for your honesty. Your choice to return to day one is probably what i would have personally done also Bev, and i wish you all the best from here forwards.
So there you have it, I can't quite work out if I should be really proud for coming and fessing up, or if I should be really ashamed, but hey it really doesn't matter, what matters is that
TODAY I CHOOSE NOT TO SMOKE.
Bev hun you know my saying "If at first you don't suceed destroy all evidence of trying in the first place and try again"
The fact that you smoked doesn't matter, you're trying again and it doesn't in my opinion matter how many times you try you will eventually suceed.
The important thing is you have not quit quitting OKAY!!
Bev, thank you so much for having the strength to tell us how and why it happened. I think what you've told us is so helpful - the reminder that we are all adicts and one puff away from being back on the habit.
Be proud of yourself for stopping immediately. Day 1, who cares - you're quitting smoking like all the rest of us here
Just wanted to send you some some of the PMA you have sent to me during the last few days, glad you have got straight back on the quit… showing your true Yorkshire grit! Good on ya.
O dear Bev , I did mean to tell you off bout your newyears slip, slippery slope.The thing is, your head thinks-I've done it once before, and didn't get back to it. I can just have the few odd ones here and there....You really will find anyway to justify to youself having a ciggy. You know i was stuck doing this for months and months, and i am the worlds expert in this. You can never, never have another puff......sorry, but thats the truth.:cool:
And fair play to you for being frank and honest about it.
Day 31 and a half here and this last week has been a bit of a pain to be honest and I want one. But I've promised myself and my family never again. So that's the way it has to be.
I'm typing this on an iPhone, full laptop use will be resumed soon!!!
uhm......... uhmmmmm.......Get yer arse back on the horse dang it and stay on!!!! You leave those nasty horrible, good for nothings things alone. If we were near each other I'd make ya hit my new wii with wii fit and put you too work LOL. I'm still doing well and want my quit buddie back but I have put on around 10 to 15 pounds. I figure munchies are better then smoking. You will do fine hun just get back into that place.
I have been quit for 3 Days, 2 hours, 48 minutes and 45 seconds (3 days). I have saved $23.37 by not smoking 77 cigarettes. I have saved 6 hours and 25 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 2/10/2010 6:35 AM
Apologies for delay - have only just seen this. So sorry this happened. A blip isn't a failure. Its what it is - a blip. I really admire your resolve to get back to the quit. You've got all the tools from the last time round - so I really hope it works for you this time. You seem quite pumped up with it.
Hi Bev , soooooooooooo sorry to hear that Mr N Demon tricked you into smoking again. I dont blame you, it can happen to any one of us during the quit ( IF we drop our guard )...and it has happened to me on previous quits.
I think you have done the right thing by starting again from day 1....dont be hard on yourself but learn to kick Mr N Demon in the nether regions if he ever tries to trick you again......and this time you will go ALL the way.
We will NOT forget the hard work you have already put into your quit and the benefits to your health that you have earned so far .... you are still a much healthier person for it.
Hope you are feeling good about yourself and your quit today. You did the right thing posting and well done for being up front and honest, it will help other people in similar situation.
As others have said your choice to go back to day one is a personal choice, so whatever feels right for you is right.
Could luck darling and stay strong and be proud of yourself
Dont worry, seems like yours was pretty pre mediatated, and you were going to have one, one way or the other... its probably now got it off your mind and made you realise how yukky they are, and hopefully has reinforced your quit!
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Look forward to reading your posts
Sigh.... okay, back to day 1 for you.... and no cat pics :mad:
What got you started on your quit?
