A very good reason

Hello Everyone.

Alan here.

First of all can I say it's great to be here, so glad I've found a place like this.

After 20+ years of smoking I've finally had enough and want to pack it in.

Health, the cost and a sense of achievement are just some of the reasons why I want to quit but my main reason is my 16 year old daughter.

The other day I caught her smoking and after initially going bananas I calmed down and we chatted about it, I was horrified to learn that she's been smoking for a few months now - inhaling and everything :(

I partly blame myself and so I really want to show her that she doesn't need cigarettes in her life.

I'm sure you'll be hearing from me quite a lot over the next few weeks.

All the best guys.

Alan.

P.S. We're just coming to the end of a surprisingly warm summer here and I'm looking forward to the Autumn months ahead, hope the weather is nice where you are.

14 Replies

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  • Hi Alan.....

    ..... & well done on your decision to quit. It is & will be one of the best things you ever do & a fantastic example to your daughter.

    Both my sons sadly smoked, the youngest stopped almost five years ago when he had my grandaughter but my eldest struggles just like his MUm :rolleyes:

    Good luck & watch for the pride in your daughters eyes as you do this :)

    Love Gaynor xx

  • Indeed, the very best of luck. Lets hope you can get your daughter to stop too.. kids and peer pressure at that age are a law unto themselves.

    I quit 6 and a bit weeks back and one of my main reasons for quitting is i don't want my daughter (she's only 2 atm), thinking that smoking is a normal thing .. i'll educate her across the years if she asks too. Its a thing you do for your kids and you know that only too well, so nice one for doing this that you do.

  • ..... & well done on your decision to quit. It is & will be one of the best things you ever do & a fantastic example to your daughter.

    Both my sons sadly smoked, the youngest stopped almost five years ago when he had my grandaughter but my eldest struggles just like his MUm :rolleyes:

    Good luck & watch for the pride in your daughters eyes as you do this :)

    Love Gaynor xx

    Hello Gaynor

    Thanks for those kind words.

    How did you get your youngest son to stop, or did he do it on his own?

    Alan x

  • Indeed, the very best of luck. Lets hope you can get your daughter to stop too.. kids and peer pressure at that age are a law unto themselves.

    I quit 6 and a bit weeks back and one of my main reasons for quitting is i don't want my daughter (she's only 2 atm), thinking that smoking is a normal thing .. i'll educate her across the years if she asks too. Its a thing you do for your kids and you know that only too well, so nice one for doing this that you do.

    Hello Jase.

    Yes one of the reasons my daughter says she started is because all her friends were doing it and she felt she was 'missing out'.

    6 weeks, well done, how is that going for you??

    Alan

  • At this moment in time, i am doing really well, i'm not getting any horrible feelings, no regrets, no sadness.. just hope, and a good feeling of well being.

    I wish i could bottle this feeling now and sell it to folk just starting out, but i guess all i can really do is let folk know who are just starting out that with the perseverence and determination that despite any bad days you have, just do not smoke, not even a single drag.. get through those rough days, and keep on going.. get to this point and you'll see what i mean.. its so much better.

    So yeah.. really good, i don't even think about smoking.. i do get the odd after dinner 'pang' but its not linking my thought to smoking, its just a queezy feeling that passes. lasts about 8 mins total, for me, so i just deep breathe, and find something to occupy my mind a bit and its done :)

    Just stick at it.. and definitely on your part work on your daughter to get her to leave smoking behind.. she doesn't need to smoke to be accepted by her friends, they should enjoy being friends for any other reason but in truth.

    Jase.

  • Hello Gaynor

    Thanks for those kind words.

    How did you get your youngest son to stop, or did he do it on his own?

    Alan x

    Hi Alan,

    How's it going today?

    My son & Daughter in law both stopped together when they had their daughter almost 5 years ago now. I can't remmebr if he used patches or not but if he did he didn't use them for long. Toni stopped while she was pregnant, started for a short while then they both quit. All the incentive they needed was that little bundle in their arms.

    Peer pressure has a lot to answer for doesn't it but hopefully when your daughter sees you quitting it will give her the incentive to stop as well. Just tell her what your gonna do with all the money you've saved for starters!!

    I wish you well & really hope your daughetr quits to.

    Love Gaynor xx

  • Gaynor and Jase

    Thanks to both of you for your words of encouragement.

    I should perhaps point out that as yet I have not actually given up smoking completely.

    I never smoke in front of my daughter anymore since I caught her smoking and she has asked if I have given them up due to the fact that she hasn't seen me light up for a while now. I know that I will never smoke in front of her again that's for sure.

    This will really be my first ever attempt at giving them up so I want to do some research first on the best methods etc.

    Gaynor you say that your son might have used patches - it's something I've been considering doing also.

    I guess becoming preganant is out of the question for me so I'll have to start somewhere :-)

    Jase - thanks for your advice also, how long have you been smoking by the way?

    I tend to do my smoking mostly at work now and I have a date set in my mind one month from now when I intend to give them up for good.

  • I had smoked for 15 years prior to deciding enough was enough I quit twice for 6 month then 8 month, then had a false start of 4 days which was probably my least planned quit ever :).. and then came this attempt..

    patch slapped on a sunday morning after a good night of wine and dvd's the night before.. didn't plan the exact day it would happen, but i did buy the patches in ready should that night ever just happen soon. it was always going to happen, and it just made perfect sense to quit during a night drinking good wine as i slept like a baby that night and woke up to quitting them.

    I'm seeing it as a for good thing too. I shattered all the reasons i thought i liked a smoke, and then negated all my positive reasons with reality and indeed good reading done in the early early days.

    I've tried not to read too much since, just when i feel a bit of re-inforcement needed, but not much more. My mind is made up, and it would take me to be force fed them against my will now to even let one sit on my lip again.

  • Wow!! you say you quit for 8 months and then started again!!

    What made you decide to start again after that length of time??

  • I'll tell you exactly alan, I broke the golden rule..

    Christmas was fast approaching, and i somehow managed to convince myself, and my fiancé that i could have a 'treat' of a little mini cigar (café creme) on christmas day after dinner. Oh it'll only be the one i told her.

    I really believed it at the time, just the one.. no problem.. won't be any more than that.

    Well christmas eve, i went out to the off license to buy some last minute drink in, and there they were, the mini-cigar's.. so i bought a tin for the following day.

    Christmas day went well, and christmas dinner came and went, and after washing the dishes, I took that tin of mini-cigars and got one out...went outside as i never did smoke ever in the house.

    Smokes it, nearly choked in the process.. so harsh it was.. but i still even despite the coughing and half-gagging, i still finished it.. and stubbed out the brown butt on the flagstones.

    I cannot say at all if i enjoyed any part of it whatsoever, in fact, no i really didn't in honesty.. but.. and this is the critical part.. inside the house.. on the shelf was the other 9 mini-cigars.. so i threw them in the bin and made sure my fiancé knew i'd done so (right move you might think!!)

    Wrong!!!!!

    You see the bin didn't make them disappear, they were still in the house.. and after we'd gone to bed that night, would you believe i actually sneaked downstairs.. to have yet another one?

    Well the following day on boxing day, i made a number of excuses to go to the shops, or.. for a walk.. or i'd say .. just popping my car... and all of them were for.. another cigar.

    Within 1 day... and a lack of self-control.. i'd rewoken the very demon i'd been nurturing for 15 years (prior to being quit for 8 months succesfully).. that one single treat on christmas day i'd convinced myself was ok.. turned out to be the catalyst for a further 8 more months of smoking 20 a day again.

    So there you go.. and now i live and breath the expression that i've seen other folk putting.. never take another puff, and never assume you can rewrite the laws of addiction either. You just can't. once you choose to smoke 1.. you choose to be back on your old 'habit/addiction level'.. almost by point of contract with your demon.

    Hope this helps

  • Hi Alan :)

    Well done on the decision to quit

    Below is my standard wlecome and advice post which I try and sned all new members

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK

    Love

    Marg

  • I'll tell you exactly alan, I broke the golden rule..

    Christmas was fast approaching, and i somehow managed to convince myself, and my fiancé that i could have a 'treat' of a little mini cigar (café creme) on christmas day after dinner. Oh it'll only be the one i told her.

    I really believed it at the time, just the one.. no problem.. won't be any more than that.

    Well christmas eve, i went out to the off license to buy some last minute drink in, and there they were, the mini-cigar's.. so i bought a tin for the following day.

    Christmas day went well, and christmas dinner came and went, and after washing the dishes, I took that tin of mini-cigars and got one out...went outside as i never did smoke ever in the house.

    Smokes it, nearly choked in the process.. so harsh it was.. but i still even despite the coughing and half-gagging, i still finished it.. and stubbed out the brown butt on the flagstones.

    I cannot say at all if i enjoyed any part of it whatsoever, in fact, no i really didn't in honesty.. but.. and this is the critical part.. inside the house.. on the shelf was the other 9 mini-cigars.. so i threw them in the bin and made sure my fiancé knew i'd done so (right move you might think!!)

    Wrong!!!!!

    You see the bin didn't make them disappear, they were still in the house.. and after we'd gone to bed that night, would you believe i actually sneaked downstairs.. to have yet another one?

    Well the following day on boxing day, i made a number of excuses to go to the shops, or.. for a walk.. or i'd say .. just popping my car... and all of them were for.. another cigar.

    Within 1 day... and a lack of self-control.. i'd rewoken the very demon i'd been nurturing for 15 years (prior to being quit for 8 months succesfully).. that one single treat on christmas day i'd convinced myself was ok.. turned out to be the catalyst for a further 8 more months of smoking 20 a day again.

    So there you go.. and now i live and breath the expression that i've seen other folk putting.. never take another puff, and never assume you can rewrite the laws of addiction either. You just can't. once you choose to smoke 1.. you choose to be back on your old 'habit/addiction level'.. almost by point of contract with your demon.

    Hope this helps

    Oh God!! Cafe Creme!!

    I get them through the post regularly for free - dunno why, must've signed up for something.

    They are absolutely awful.

    Mind you, I was reading something the other day about smoking advice, it was a snippet from a book called 'The Easy Way' by Alan Carr which I believe from reading some posts on here, that most people are familiar with.

    To get back to the point, this piece in the book basically said that smokers don't really enjoy smoking at all, in fact it takes effort to actually learn to put up with cigarettes at first.

    When I read this I thought my God that's so true - they are bloody awful :-)

    It's quite ridiculous when you think about it really, think I might read the whole book now.

  • Hi Alan :)

    Well done on the decision to quit

    Below is my standard wlecome and advice post which I try and sned all new members

    Love

    Marg

    Hello Marg

    Thanks so much for the warm welcome.

    I'm so glad I've found this place and everyone is so nice and welcoming.

    Those links you provided were excellent, I have bookmarked them in my browser favourites and am in the process of going through all the information - great stuff.

    Thank you :-) x

  • Hi Alan :D

    You're very welcome glad you're finding them helpful I also have them in my favourites

    Love

    Marg

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