Feeling Blue :(

Had a bad day yesterday and today seems even worse.

Nobody could do anything right yesterday. I was a b**ch. Can't say I was really craving a smoke, just I bit everyone's head off. OH went out for a few hours out of the way and then I started on him when he came back for being out so long. Had a two hour battle with son all over a spider. He wanted to catch it and put it outside and I wanted him to leave it. Stupid I know. He then went to a friends and has gone camping for a few days with them.

This morning got up, and all I want to do is cry. Feel like today is going to be worse than yesterday. I was up at 8, OH and daughter stayed in bed until dinner time so I spent the first 4 hours of my birthday on my own, opening my cards all by myself. To make it worse, OH didn't buy me a pressie as he said he did not know what to get me, so he got me NOTHING!!!! So we not speaking and he has just gone off to his Mum's for dinner, again to get out of the way I think. He didn't even say sorry (but to be honest if he did, I would have said sorry wasn't good enough).

Kids got me a pressie, but not what I wanted. I know this may sound selfish but they asked me weeks ago what I would like and I told them, only to not get what I really wanted.

We are supposed to be going to the pub for drinks this afternoon and I just want to sit here, cry and feel sorry for myself, cos nobody loves me.

I know I'm being a cow but just feel so down. Not going to reach for a cigarette though as I know it won't help, I just needed to put the way I'm feeling down somewhere.

Not sure if its quitting effects or just me. Anybody know how I can cheer myself up in the next hour?

10 Replies

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  • Hi Trisha :D

    Many Happy returns of the day

    Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday and today looks like another bad one for you

    Feeling blue is normal I'm afraid for some of us at times and we always take it out on those we love best

    Also feeling weepy is normal as well just now

    Sorry you had to spend the first 4 hrs of your birthday alone though and your OH is very naughty if he didn't know what to get he could have got some chocolates or sweets or anything just to show he remembered

    I think the way you feel is down to the quit and hope you feel a little better for writing it down on here to get it out of your system that's far better than brooding about which would only make it worse

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxx

  • Trisha,

    I was there on week 3, i know the low days that i had then only too well. I was unreasonable, grouchy, and well outside of the person i wished to be, i knew it, i saw it, i retreated to regather my thoughts, and came back calmer from it.

    To cheer myself up a bit i went on some mad youtube searches on topics that usually amuse me, comedians, cats doing funny things, bloopers on films. you name it, i searched for it.

    It helped me.. but non so much as getting words of encouragement when i most needed it, thats very important. Also sometimes i found just acknowledging to folk that you know your being unreasonable and moody helps sometimes too, then at least they know that you are aware of it.

    Its a tough time, but even though you think its bad at the moment, its still the illusion manifesting itself in your life. the addiction is stronger than we realise, and once we tame the addiction to a more manageable level, it gets so much easier. If i could swap where i am now for where you are now, i would swap.. you know i would, and i'm only a little under 2 weeks further into my quit, but if you could see the difference you would be able to cope in the here and now knowing how much it gets better.

    Peace to you Trish, and a big hug too. ((((Trish))))

  • Oops, i missed out the important bit..

    Happy Birthday to yoooooo...

    Happy Birthday to yoooooooooooooo.

    You look like an none-smoker...

    and you smell like one too.

    Well done for coming this far :)

    Happy birthday :) hope you don't mind my butchered happy birthday song but its so very relevant :)

  • Trish, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Hope you have many more smoke free ones! I know where your coming from about the presents. The only thing I ever wanted for my birthday is a bakery birthday cake and do you think anyone gets me one ---NO. Well, after many years of them asking and me telling them that's what I wanted and not gettting one, I decided to just go get one for myself. So every year I go get my own present and I'm happy. No disappointments. Everyone else just tells me Happy Birthday and usually gets me a card and what they want to get me and we are all happy.

  • Happy Birthday, Trisha!! Don't worry.... most of us agree that week 3 can be awful (just ask Bev!!).... the fact your birthday fell into week 3 double sucks..... BUT it's important to know that this will NOT last...... so take this time and allow yourself briefly to feel sorry for yourself, have a good cry, and then cheer up again ;)

    PS - I quit ON my birthday so believe me, mine sucked major as well :D

    Big Hug..... and again

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY

  • Great words from the others - don't be so hard on yourself Trisha. I really hope you are felling better - and...

    ~~~~~Happy Birthday!~~~~~

  • Hi Guys.

    Think my head has been in the "nether" regions for the past few days.

    Went out yesterday, still with a "strop on" but had a fantastic day in the end. Didn't come home at 7 like planned, ended up being midnight. Got told a few home truths as the night went on though. Daughter told me that I have been a nightmare for the past few weeks and stupid me thought, apart from the last two days, I had been doing really well- calm, etc. Obviously not! Said apologies to everyone and asked that they bear with me and support me, which they have agreed to do. Came home a bit worse for wear but not too bad this morning. One revelation that came to me this morning was that I only just realised, that I had not once wanted a cig while I was out, even when other people were going out, it didn't enter my head! Wow, that is pretty good I think.

    Had a bad day today as well, not in the moody sense, just everything gone wrong, all things out of my control as well. Main one, car broke down. :mad: When I was sat waiting for the AA, said to a colleague "if I smoked, I would be smoking now thinking it would make me calm, but i now know that it wouldn't have helped as it wouldn't have fixed my car, would it". Instead it is at the garage, waiting to be fixed. Good job I don't smoke now, couldn't afford to get it repaired otherwise. LOL

    Thanks for all your words yesterday and not judging me as being a spoilt ...... It wasn't me, think the demons thought I'd been having it too good and wanted to spoil the party! But I am still here and going strong thanks to being able to rant/rave/cry on here.

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Just remembered something else. Been to the dentist today for a check up and have booked myself in for a polish. It will be worth it now that I know they not going to get stained anymore through smoking. So will have no excuse not to smile then. :D I will look just like this smiley.

  • Great to hear you have talked things through - and even better that you asked for support rather than giving in - that shows just how far you have come. Well done you! :D

  • Hi Trisha :)

    Sorry you've been feeling blue the last few days

    I hope you feel better soon

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxx

  • Trisha,You know? talk to the family more.. if this went 2 weeks with them seeing what you only noticed the last couple of days then perhaps you just need to lean on them for the close support a bit more?

    I have been very upfront and honest all the way this quit with my fiancé, i've let her know when i'm feeling a bit down, or a crave has come on, and now if she hears me drop a heavy 'sigh', she asks how i am, rather than just lets me sit with it.

    So its good that the family have agreed to bear with you and support you more, but be more open with them and describe how its making you feel in a calm manner and you may be surprised to find them receptive and responsive to you changing mood if you having a tough day. Family are important, and no matter what, they love you for who you are, and you are doing something admirable by not smoking, and that sense of pride they must have will outweigh any reaction they might have to a moody :)

    Bad news about the car for now, thing about cars, they know when you have some spare money, but once its sorted, its sorted. Put it out your mind, you've at least taken it to a garage. good for you. Good move regards the dentist too, yep we put our bodies through hell and don't always consider our teeth too... won't be too long you'll have a colgate smile again :)

    Just know that things will improve, it may take a little time, but be patient with it and you'll look back on these last few days as 'gawd remember that time when....' and u may even smile about it.

    ;)

    Best wishes.

    jase.

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