feeling sorry for myself

Had a bad couple of days, Its my mothers memorial tomorrow and im realy having a struggle today. It seems worse than last year, i think i prepared myself more last time it was the first year, I Keep going over her last few days and crying and wanting a cig. I know it wont make it better, but feel like it would help. Ohhhhh! be so glad when wednesday if over with. staying off them seems not so important today. I wont give in though im sure it will pass ,Realy sorry for wingeing folks, but geting it wrote down is a help. xxx :(

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  • There's nothing wrong with feeling sad and sorry. You only have one mother. I know - I miss mine like anything. But on the positive side, wouldn't she have been proud at your achievement in not smoking? I know mine would have been.

    Anyway, here's a hug :)

  • If you want to whinge then you whinge hun. This must be a really difficult time for you and it's no wonder you're looking to the old support systems for comfort. But you know that it wouldn't actually help.

    Make sure you look after yourself, especially these next few days.

    I'm sure your mum would be really chuffed with you not smoking. xx

  • Awww thankyou friends. I just dont know why its worse this time around, maybe i thought it was worst over the first year. I had real issues with my mother, I pushed her around in her wheelchair for 15 years, worked till 10pm at night, so i could take her to hospital appointments foot clinic hairdresser etc, she was crippled with athritis but wow what a strong personality. we fought like hell to be honest but oh God how i miss her. i will be ok. its just so nice to get that off my chest. a huge thankyou mates. xxx :)

  • Dossydo.. sorry you're feeling so cr*p.. I'm not really the right person to talk about mothers for a variety of complex reasons but I do know that you are doing so well, you're so positive and so in touch with others' needs - now it's a moment for you to be in touch with your own and not worry about 'wingeing'. We are allowed to be sad and we're also allowed to share that with others. I hope you're feeling better, back to your old self, very soon and meanwhile, we're all here for you..

    Thinking of you...:)

  • Babe Thinking of you and I know how you feel Was very close to my mum and miss her very very much. But smoking will not make you feel any better and you will be so pleased after 2moro that you didnt give in. xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Thanks Steve, i realy wasnt prepared for the way its affected me these couple of days. Ive had a nice lunch and treat myself to a cream cake yum. so at least my tummys happy eh? It has meant such a lot to have listeners on here. a huge sincere thankyou to all my dear friends. You have put it into perspective and stoped me going and buying a not so nice old friend or should i say fiend. Thanks xxx

  • Cream cake - good choice. I'm really glad this place is helping. You know yourself how annoyed you'd be if you smoked now, so it's great to have that bit of extra support to back you up.

    Big hugs xx

  • *Big Squeezy hugs*

    Dossy x x x my mum died when I was 8 and I still get low and sad around that time of year, people go but are never forgotten.

    Feeling sad for your mum and crying for her is so natural and you should go along with that x x x x Smoking isn't really part of it, it is a snuggle blanket! I light a candle for my mum or dad when I feel sad. It's on the window sill and i watch it flicker.

    Remember your mum and rejoyce her life tomorrow x x x x x x x x

    catholicconvert.files.wordp...

    ~Buffy x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

  • Sorry you are feeling down xxx

  • Oh Dossy, here's a hug honey. I got a tear in my eyes just reading your post, yours is a true sorrow that a fake support wouldn't take away, it's only natural you're feeling this way, she was your Mom and you loved her so much. Hope you feel better soon xxx

  • fake support

    Thats it! nail on the head x x x x That is all a cigarette is!!

  • Sorry double post but ...............

    Fake support vs Real support

    It has meant such a lot to have listeners on here. a huge sincere thankyou to all my dear friends. You have put it into perspective and stoped me going and buying a not so nice old friend or should i say fiend. Thanks xxx

    Thats what really matters eh??

    *biggest hugs* again x x x x

    ~Buffy x x

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