Month Five but Tinged With Sadness

Free and Healing for Five Months, 23 Hours and 48 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 5 Days and 6 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1520 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £458.84.

Hi all.

Sorry I don't post on here much, I am not much use to newbie quitters as I only stop by every now and then to make the odd comment and/or (selfishly) celebrate my own milestones but there are a lot of other wonderful supportive people on here to more than make up for me :)

I am struggling at the moment as my beautiful dad passed away 10 days ago and I am truly devastated. He had bowel cancer so we knew the end was looming but it's still a shock. He was one of my best friends and I don't know how I can manage the rest of my life without him. Does it sound odd that I am a 41 year old mum of 2 boys but I still need my dad? I know everyone says this but he really was the best dad in the world, nearly 500 people attended his funeral so you can see how popular he was, not just to me but to a lot of others! I miss him so much. The temptation to smoke recently has been high but I have managed to steer clear (so far) though I am worried that as my grief kicks in so will my old habit.....

Sorry for rambling :o

5 Replies

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  • Free and Healing for Five Months, 23 Hours and 48 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 5 Days and 6 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1520 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £458.84.

    Hi all.

    Sorry I don't post on here much, I am not much use to newbie quitters as I only stop by every now and then to make the odd comment and/or (selfishly) celebrate my own milestones but there are a lot of other wonderful supportive people on here to more than make up for me :)

    I am struggling at the moment as my beautiful dad passed away 10 days ago and I am truly devastated. He had bowel cancer so we knew the end was looming but it's still a shock. He was one of my best friends and I don't know how I can manage the rest of my life without him. Does it sound odd that I am a 41 year old mum of 2 boys but I still need my dad? I know everyone says this but he really was the best dad in the world, nearly 500 people attended his funeral so you can see how popular he was, not just to me but to a lot of others! I miss him so much. The temptation to smoke recently has been high but I have managed to steer clear (so far) though I am worried that as my grief kicks in so will my old habit.....

    Sorry for rambling :o

    hi Tracceeeeee

    sorry to hear about your Dad it is a terrible loss and there is nothing wrong with wanting your Dad at any age. Dont worry he will be looking down and looking after you, live your life Traceeeee carry on talking to him if it helps i did when my parents passed, you know he will be immensely proud of you not picking up a cig as difficult as it is to resist, hang in there Traceeeeeee, i hope each passing day gets easier for you, you will never forget him, rejoice of the time you had with him fond memories that will never ever go ....good luck Traceeeeee take care hope to see you posting again soon.

  • Sorry to hear of your sad news Traceeee. I lost my Dad 4 years ago so was a year younger than you at the time & felt the same. Your parents are your parents & of course we will miss them like hell, age has no bearing on that.

    As bradders said he will be there watching over you & helping to give you the strength not to reach for that ciggie in hard moments. I have no doubt he was immensely proud of you in your quit.

    Wishing you all the best

    Gaynor xx

  • So sorry to read this Traceee, I would just like to echo both the above posts, your dad will be so proud that you have not picked up a cig, it is your legacy to him that you are a proud and happy non smoker.

    Post as often as you like and ramble at will, there will always be somebody here to listen and offer support night or day.

  • Free and Healing for Five Months, 23 Hours and 48 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 5 Days and 6 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1520 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £458.84.

    Hi all.

    Sorry I don't post on here much, I am not much use to newbie quitters as I only stop by every now and then to make the odd comment and/or (selfishly) celebrate my own milestones but there are a lot of other wonderful supportive people on here to more than make up for me :)

    I am struggling at the moment as my beautiful dad passed away 10 days ago and I am truly devastated. He had bowel cancer so we knew the end was looming but it's still a shock. He was one of my best friends and I don't know how I can manage the rest of my life without him. Does it sound odd that I am a 41 year old mum of 2 boys but I still need my dad? I know everyone says this but he really was the best dad in the world, nearly 500 people attended his funeral so you can see how popular he was, not just to me but to a lot of others! I miss him so much. The temptation to smoke recently has been high but I have managed to steer clear (so far) though I am worried that as my grief kicks in so will my old habit.....

    Sorry for rambling :o

    So sorry to hear about your dad. No one can say anything to take the pain away.

    I lost mine 7 years ago when I was 41 as well and felt the same way you do. He was a heavy smoker who had quit 10 years before his death (health problems) and he really wanted me to do it as well. At the time I made every excuse why I could not. I know today he would be very proud that I had finally managed it. The same is for you - at a time of extreme stress you are staying strong and I am sure they are both looking down and offering their strength :)

  • Really sorry that you have lost your dad. I can sympathise with the feelings, lost mine 8 years ago, and my mum 2 years before that, and felt i'd truly lost my soul mates, best friends etc. etc. I think of them always, but now I can smile when I remember things about them, and sometimes the odd tear, but always ending in a smile at their memory.

    I know you have probably been told this by many, but time does help. Cry often, hug often, talk often, and what ever you do, do not bottle up those emotions. My husband and children around me were my saving grace, use yours well and let them know how you are feeling.

    Don't even waste time thinking about smoking, you don't want to so don't worry about it, it will only make you feel more wretched and it won't help anything.

    My best wishes,

    Lorraine x

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