I have to blab now, I'm sorry, I haven't told you everything about me and my quit, not everything. A lot of verbal poo coming:- I have mental health issues: my official diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia but at the moment I just have problems with my mood and a bit of paranoia, granted. I am on meds: an antidepressant and an antipsychotic.
The reason I quit with all you cool people is because I have a date on Sunday with a girl I really like, who doesn't like smoking. I feel compelled to quit smoking, I could really do with a nice girlfriend, I haven't been out with a girl for a couple of years now. And maybe this 'reason' is useful for me to quit right now.
Don't get me wrong, everything I've said on this forum is true, I don't have a problem with honesty, just apparently with discretion.
I have quit for 6 days now, but am developing a problem I have had a years now, and it's coming back. Big time. Alcohol. I have been drinking heavily (seriously, like 8-10 pints a day since a couple of days) for days now and I don't know what to do. Part of this is linked to my perception of Gemma (my date) thinking drink is on a night out is normal, so I have to drink when I see her. She doesn't know about my problems, and I don't intend to disclose them right now (it's not important right now). I'd seriously be a teetotaller if I could, I'm really into the health thing and even Buddhism.
I don't like being into alcohol and I'm officially not really an alcoholic, just have a problem with alcohol, as regards the relevant people. It's just an extension of my other problems (a lot of 'us' have problems with drugs/alcohol).
I don't know what else to say, I just feel like crying right now :(. You people have been so great to me. I'm not going to smoke, but as you can gather by now, it maybe isn't the greatest of my issues right now.
I feel like the only thing I can glean from this mess is me not smoking for 6 days (and counting). I'm sorry if I've let you all down.
Thanks for reading my blurb.