Reality check

Hi guys,

I have to blab now, I'm sorry, I haven't told you everything about me and my quit, not everything. A lot of verbal poo coming:- I have mental health issues: my official diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia but at the moment I just have problems with my mood and a bit of paranoia, granted. I am on meds: an antidepressant and an antipsychotic.

The reason I quit with all you cool people is because I have a date on Sunday with a girl I really like, who doesn't like smoking. I feel compelled to quit smoking, I could really do with a nice girlfriend, I haven't been out with a girl for a couple of years now. And maybe this 'reason' is useful for me to quit right now.

Don't get me wrong, everything I've said on this forum is true, I don't have a problem with honesty, just apparently with discretion.

I have quit for 6 days now, but am developing a problem I have had a years now, and it's coming back. Big time. Alcohol. I have been drinking heavily (seriously, like 8-10 pints a day since a couple of days) for days now and I don't know what to do. Part of this is linked to my perception of Gemma (my date) thinking drink is on a night out is normal, so I have to drink when I see her. She doesn't know about my problems, and I don't intend to disclose them right now (it's not important right now). I'd seriously be a teetotaller if I could, I'm really into the health thing and even Buddhism.

I don't like being into alcohol and I'm officially not really an alcoholic, just have a problem with alcohol, as regards the relevant people. It's just an extension of my other problems (a lot of 'us' have problems with drugs/alcohol).

I don't know what else to say, I just feel like crying right now :(. You people have been so great to me. I'm not going to smoke, but as you can gather by now, it maybe isn't the greatest of my issues right now.

I feel like the only thing I can glean from this mess is me not smoking for 6 days (and counting). I'm sorry if I've let you all down.

Thanks for reading my blurb.


Paul. x

19 Replies

  • What you onna'bout letting us down?? LIKE HELL you have let us down!!! You're a MMQ, it aint possible to let us down ;)

    I feel quite a div now!! cos I suppose I thought I had problems with just giving up smoking... and compared to you... I have it bloody easy!!! I think you are the bravest of all us MMQ's... you are soooo strong!! and up beat that I would never have guessed in a million years!!

    We all have things in our lives that aint Ideal.... BUT ... it's how we cope and manage with these things that make us who we are... not the problems we have ;);)

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((( BIG HUG FOR YOU ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) xx

    Now... where was we??


  • Hi Paul :)

    You have not let anyone on this forum down so get that idea right out of your head OK

    Sorry about the mental issues you have but you're on meds for that and obviously stable and you've done great with not smoking as well

    Good luck with your date and I really hope you will have a great time with Gemma

    Maybe when you've got your quit really established you'll be able to at least cut down the drinking if not stop completely as you say you don't like being into alcohol but one step at a time eh

    You're very sad just now which I totally understand but the smoking was obviously a big problem for you or you wouldn't have quit when you did

    BIG HUG on it's way from me as well


    Marg xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi P,

    Let me just start by saying your not letting anyone down ok?

    Right you've already said that your condition is under control by meds, so that is one thing you are in control of.

    You've being doing absolutly fantastic with the not smoking, thats 2 things you have under control.....see where I'm going with this?

    Your third problem, alcohol, you may not think you have too much of a problem with it, but if you need to rely on it for certain situations, hun its sounds abit like a problem to me, I know from experience.

    What I think might benefit you is getting in touch with someone who deals in that area or even your local GP, they will be able to advise you on what course of action you should take.

    Look at what you have achieved and ask yourself if this isnt something else you can tackle?

  • hi paul,i am new to forums and i havnt posted anything until now.i have been reading about everyones stories and thinking i will defo join in but didnt know what to say.that was until i read about what your going through.i was so touched i cried.i am on champix and i am feeling so down in the dumps even tho i have quit.i am on nearly wk 6.i had some bad news last night and i smoked just one today and now i feel i ve let myself down.i will do my best not to crumble again.what i am trying to say is because i read what you said,it gave me the courage to join in because of all the lovely people who where there for you.there is only so much support that family can give as they have their own probs to deal with.hope this makes sense.:(

  • AWWWWW Mojo... sorry you had bad news hun xxx

    Please, always feel like you can come here for a chat... be it a whinge a moan a grumble a laugh a funny tale... or just a " Hi, I'm still here "....... We're in this together!! We all take the rough with the smooth, but when times are bad, I find it easy to just type my name and password into this little forum than reach for the dreaded weed!! Try it, you will see i'm right ;)

  • :pYour a Mad March Quitter Paul and everyone is supporting you... One step at a time, it will all come good for you,,, Can tell by your post, you are very strong and are facing your problems..Good luck Paul Remember we are all here for you, keep up the good work:pKaz

  • Thanks for all your support, I can honestly say it's appreciated, you've all been so supportive all the way, and I thank you all from the depths of my heart. Some of your comments are really what I needed to hear.

    I'm still an MMQ, and I'll not give in! I need to get myself sorted for Gemma on Sunday. I want to give you a big hug, mojo, I really do.

    Lots of love,


  • Hi Mojo :)

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off and Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    Well done on almost 6 weeks quit that's great, but so sorry you had some bad news, so you smoked one and feel down about that as well, but it happens sometimes and you say that you won't crumble and that's good well done

    What you're saying makes sense to me. I also quit with the aid of champix but even with this as you know it takes a lot of willpower

    Post often for whatever reason a rant, a moan or just for a chat we're always here for you whenever you need us I promise

    Best Wishes


  • Hey Raddleman - that sounds more like you. Once an MMQ always an MMQ.:D

    Ah, but we have to expect that the MAQ crew will challenge for the title from now on. But hey, they are nice newbs that we're going to support and look after :D

  • yep we will support them BUT we wont cave in and then start all over again as an MAQ even if they are a nice bunch. :p

    Haha you make me giggle, you funny *hugs*. Hey get over on my new evening thread, it rocks! :p

  • yep we will support them BUT we wont cave in and then start all over again as an MAQ even if they are a nice bunch. :p

    No we can't do that... MAQ is ok... but it's not us!! we are the MMQ CREW!! see it just has a ring to it :D

  • Nice sig slinky ;););)

  • Nice sig slinky

    OH thankyou!! do you like it?? :D:D

    (( have I got toilet roll on my shoe ?? )) :D:D

  • oh thankyou!! Do you like it?? :d:d

    (( have i got toilet roll on my shoe ?? )) :d:d

    rofl !!!!!

  • Hi there to everyone and a big massive thank you to slinky and marg oh and a hug to both of you.You have made me feel so much better.I feel part of the family now and i know i am back on track to never smoke again.I will be on here everyday,its something to look forward to.Marg,o.m.god!I had a look at the links you sent me and i will be reading everything on there.The pics and stories are so sad.My nephew who is age 13 is on week 7 of quitting and i will ring him tomorrow to tell him all about this site.Hopefully he will join us.Once again,thanks for making me

  • Hi there to everyone and a big massive thank you to slinky and marg oh and a hug to both of you.

    AWWWWW... now I feel good, i'm so glad I have helped you!! xxx :D Marg is just the bee's knee's when it comes to saying the right words... ME, I just waffle!! but it must make some sense :D SOOO glad you have decided to stay with us through your quit!! and good on your nephew for getting quit now before it's too late and he has lost many years to the stuff like us!!

  • Hi Mojo :D

    Thankyou and I'm so pleased I was able to help you also thanks for the hug ah I needed that

    You're very welcome in this family of non smokers

    Please tell your nephew well done from me and he is more than welcome to join the family

    Hugs to you as well


    Marg xxxxxxx

  • i'm with u dude-i stard drinkin at 15 and if i hadnt stoppd at 33 i'd now b dead-lost my house-got devorced (i'm glad of that bit)-it cost me a job-and by the age of 33 i was well messd up-and on the edge-

    after a 100 attempts one easter sat i decided i'd go out, spend all my money on drink-then go home and watch texas chainsaw massssacre and never drink again-luckily thats wat i did-but

    for 3or 4 years i went mad on class a drugs-i was a heavy smoker and smoked pot as much as possible-i sortd the class As but sent mysel mad wi pot-a heavy smoker on weed consumes some amount of tar i can tell u! at the minute i'm teatotal but unfortubately a bit ubstable-dont worry-its okay-i'm a dab hand a bein unstable!i'm lucky enuff to hav lookd over the edge aand make it back-

    my point is this-women arnt impressd wi a man who can drink-dont substitute one thing for another-u'll overdo it from th start or at some stage-hang in ther-alcohol numbs th brain in2 thinking somethings gud wen it aint-enjoy a drink but dont use a drink-after all its only a drink-now i can take it or leave it-so i leave it-

    today's my day 4 not smokn-ther was no point in given up all my other bad habits and keep doin th one that'll kill me-i try not 2 preach but sometimes i just cant help it-

    gud luck dude-b urself!

  • Hi John :D

    Well done on day 4 you're doing great Just hang in there you can do this


    Marg xx

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