Kiss it goodbye/Confidence Check

Hi all,

I have been free for nearly 4 months, in that time i had a few puffs of a cigarette, about 4 weeks ago when i was a tad tipsy. I am very glad I did, in technical stock trading it is called a kiss it goodbye move.

Basically when a stock rises in price and passes a resistance level it usually has a pullback to the resitance level and kisses it goodbye before bouncing back up higher.

I needed that kiss it goodbye retrace of a few puffs. The reason it was so good is that it wasn't nicotine that drew me to it. I had a few puffs and felt no relief, no joy. . . nothing. This psychologically triggered a realisation smoking is pointless for me now.

EVEN THOUGH I had a kiss it goodbye event and know smoking is pointless and do not physically crave cigarettes - I still for some strange reason feel I could still go back to smoking. I have not completely let it go and sometimes think about smoking - not crave it think about it. If I had cigarettes in my house I feel I would be tempted to smoke one now and then. Does anyone else feel like this...

let's get a psychological/confidence check from the 3,4,5,6+ monthers.

20 Replies

  • Anti fag im just wondering if the No Retreat No Surrender you have at the bottom of your posts is something you have gotten from a song.

  • Antifag, you have just put into words exactly how I feel. I hate cigarettes, I hate smoking - with a passion! I think it is disgusting, I hate seeing people light up, I hate walking past them. I sometimes think if they were to ban cigarettes completely, then I could get on with my life a bit easier.

    I will never to back to smoking (brave words, hope I never have to eat them!). I know a cigarette, or even a puff will never "make me feel better" and indeed, would only ever make me feel worse, but I too have this "feeling" that it maybe would be "easier" just to go back to smoking. Maddie put it so well, "I'm getting fed up with being stopped" (or something similar)

    I just look upon this feeling as my penance for ever having started smoking in the first place. Sorry to sound depressing, and if there really are any new quitters on this forum, please realise that I am sure this is not how everyone feels; I don't crave cigarettes, and the feeling is hard to explain, but it's like losing an old friend or loved one :(

    I would love for an oldie to post and tell us that he/she felt like this around the 4/5 month mark, and that it did pass

    Have a nice day, y'all !!!!

  • I would love for an oldie to post and tell us that he/she felt like this around the 4/5 month mark, and that it did pass.....

    I don’t think you’re ever free of them, you just have very long gaps between fags. This comes up quite often, I reckon we need some “stickies” on this forum.

    The longer we are quit for and the more complacent we become, the easier it is for one drunken smoke to upset the apple cart. I’m sure we’ve all done it either deliberately or when our guard was down because we thought we’d tamed the beast.

    We thought we could have just the one and many do, and get away with it, but many don’t and it creeps again.

    Don’t pretend it’s anything to do with nicotine, it’s a purely psychological phenomenon ingrained in our heads because of years of smoking.

    Early in our quits we have so much resolve that it’s easy to stay off them but as time marches on we seem to lose focus and forget why we stopped. Personally forums like this tend to reinforce my quit because seeing those at the start of the road hardens my own attitude.

    I’m nearly at 8 months and quite often I still have to talk myself out of having a smoke, the thing is, I take so little persuading these days that it’s really not a problem.


  • I agree with what has been posted so far. I can understand Maddy getting fed up with "being stopped".

    Quite honestly, there isn't a day that goes by when I don't think about smoking but then I smoked all of my adult life. What does get stronger is the resolve not to smoke again. I don't have a problem with anyone that smokes rollies (probably because my husband still does) but I could not have a cigarette smoker in my house ever again. I really loathe the smell and the smell of people outside supermarkets and pubs. If you go for a drink and someone comes back in from having a cigarette, they stink!!

    I'm quite lucky in the fact that I have been able to save (some) of my smoking money and putting it away every week makes it so worthwhile. I would advise any newbies to put just the price of one packet of cigs in a jar each week and see how quickly it mounts up. You ALWAYS found the money for cigarettes howver broke you were.

    There are several of us on this who have been quitters for over seven months now - we won't lapse now (?will we?)

  • Well, just to post from the other side...I did start again, briefly, after about 4 months.

    That was three weeks ago now and the good news is that i haven't had to go through the horror show first few weeks again.

    Someone earlier on this thread talked about a 'Kiss goodbye' smoke.

    That feels like it to me. It was like i revisited an earlier life position in the hope of somehow steching my legs further under the 'I'm relaxing and having fun' table...I found out that it didn't give me any more just relieved the associative urge to 'smoke because that's what I really want to do' put me back into an old mindset that I no longer really inhabit.

    So far I've found that stopping again has just been a matter of staying firmly in the present. I know i can't keep 'blipping'. I know that the Non-smoker position is new and will need lots of time to become deeply embedded. But at least the grip of addiction/habit has been shown to be considerably loosened by the 4 month quit and coming on here and 'fessing up has definitely helped to move back into the non-smoker life.

    Onwards and upwards all y'all..this foul and filthy malign habit CANNOT beat us unless we agree to be beaten.


  • On the 27th June I had been quit for 7 months and I forgot my "aniversary" until a couple of days ago.In the early days I would think in terms of hours quit which quite quickly progressed to days,months etc. I never installed a quit meter as I did not want to get to bogged down in stats, I just wanted to be free. Time is a great healer is a famous quote that I think applys to smoking I agree with most of the posts on this thread in as much as I still think about smoking,all be it less and less, but I KNOW i will never again smoke.:)


  • Good thread and some excellent replies, I particularly agree with austin and tomatpots.

    At almost one year quit I cant say craves bother me at all, and havent done for some time either. However, I do still think about it a lot. Just 'situationally', if that makes any sense. If a feeling of doubt ever creeps in which it does from time to time (separate from a crave), its not hard to get past it with only slight persuasion. With time, and completely letting go of the ingrained memories of smoking, these things do get much better.

  • Brilliant posts folks, I am soooo glad i am not the only person that feels like this.

    Thanks so much to everyone that replied, once again this excellent site and brilliant people have provided me with the comfort, confidence and reassurance i seek.

  • very interesting to read what people are experiencing in the longer term...I posted from vacation recently cos I was having one hell of a struggle...but now I'm back home, doesn't seem to bother me anymore... It was a suprise that I craved cigarettes but guess just goes to show that triggers can come bite you on the bum when you are least expecting it...

    when I quit, i worked on a daily basis, "i choose not to smoke today"..then as weeks progressed, moved onto "I'll quit for three months.." Today is three months...I guess i'd better set myself another goal....;)


  • Welcome Home Nicky hope you had a fab time. Congrats on your 3 months Babe. think im going on holiday soon my worde fear is that i will cave. Linda xxxx

  • hi Linda,

    hope that my experience will help you be prepared!!:)

    and hopefully your holiday will be stress-free which mine wasn't, which added to the temptation...

    have a great holiday, and if I can survive, anyone can!!!:D:D

    good luck


  • Welcome Home Nicky hope you had a fab time. Congrats on your 3 months Babe. think im going on holiday soon my worde fear is that i will cave. Linda xxxx

    Oh no you won't you have come to far for that.

    I am also going abroad with the wife and 3 kids for 2 weeks at the end of July.

    I USED to smoke loads abroad, but am looking forward to facing one of my last trigger situations.

    Have a lovely holiday just dont smoke

  • holidays and smoking go hand in hand for me very bad news, i have avoided it largely due to the fags.

    i am also now single.... breakups are stressful occasions anyway, i just keep thinking of having a cigarette and am having to try pretty hard to stop myself.

    any hot 30 something single non smoking chicks out there want a piece of the antifag?

  • I realised earlier today that last Saturday, I hit 4 months smoke-free.

    It's probably a good sign that I wasn't conscious on Saturday of the date having any particular significance to me - I am now a non-smoker and most of the time, I don't even think about having smoked on average two packs a day for the last 27 years. Smoking doesn't draw me in the way it did in the earlier stages of my quit. For a while, I'd follow in the wake of some smokers in the street and draw in their smoke desperate for a whiff. But no more.

    But nor does having people smoking around me irritate me, unlike some others. Sometimes, very rarely, I think to myself "I used to be sad and pathetic like you but I'm not any more".

    Something curious happened to me today though. I hope to have more to say about this at the weekend, but some time ago there was a thread about what we'd do with the money we've saved from not smoking. I was out and about doing some research in the local shopping centre in connection with that, and I came out of a shop into the bunch of smokers huddling together over their fags.

    I remember thinking to myself "I want a fag". It had been a long day, I was excited, just the sort of combination that used to be a trigger for me. I actually burst out laughing when I realised that my immediate thought in response to that was "a fag? You don't smoke, you stupid moo!"

    At that moment, more than any point at all in the last four months, I realised that I just might have this smoking thing licked - this just might be THE quit for me. And then I realised that I'd passed my four months mark, and thought I must come here to report.

    Which I have now done.

    I think I can safely say that things DO get easier and I really can't believe that 10 weeks ago I was having such a hard time, and having to find ways to get over each crave as it came and passed. Smoking isn't even somethign I used to do: that may as well have been a different person.

  • hey plumski

    i agree with dubbs it seemed a done deal when u stopped smoking, but well done im afraid i still have the odd drunken puff of somebody elses ciggie - but only if im with other smokers, went out sunday got totally wasted and didnt even think about a cig - i think its just because they are there and i can if i want to!

    Oh well congrats to u


  • Hi Plumski

    Well done on your 4 months and the way your feeling about your quit. Only wish i could feel the same I know its a mind thing but im having a lot of stress at home and finding it really hard to stay smoke free at the mo. Just taking it day at a time again at the mo never mind tomorrows another day. Very well done to you anyway hope you find something nice to spoil your self with. linda xxxx

  • Hi Linda

    I am sorry you are having problems in your life at the moment.

    I know you probably know this but just remember, having a fag wont help with the problems, they will still be there and you will just have added to them by smoking. You know you dont want to do that and you will feel bad within yourself for having a ciggie.

    You have been very strong with your quit so far Linda and i, for one, totally respect that, because you have mentioned your problems before, and not many people have to contend with the things that you have while they quit smoking.

    Stay as strong as you have been Linda and don't smoke. ;) :)

  • Thank you John for your kind words. Just hope things improve soon but at the moment im holding my own. thank you again.xxxx

  • Good to hear from you Plumski, glad your doing well. Havent seen you around for a while, so cheers for the update. Many congrats.

    Linda, hope things pick up for you, I really do. As you say take it a day at a time. All the best.

  • news?

    Welcome Home Nicky hope you had a fab time. Congrats on your 3 months Babe. think im going on holiday soon my worde fear is that i will cave. Linda xxxx


    lets us know how you got on on your hols, that is the time i miss smoking ....hope you have good news to tell xxx

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