scary moment

ok this scared me

tonight i have been accused of cheating in my accounts exam last week.

some stupid pathetic sad arse with no life tried to accuse me and my friend of cheating by copying each other and complained to our course tutor. of course we were NOT cheating and our papers reflected that, neverless, as im sure you understand i was FUMING by even being asked about it!!!!

all i sat there there thinking when i was getting angrier and angrier was "i need a fag, i need a fag" and i couldnt get rid of the thought!!! whilst in the room with the tutor going on about it, there was no voice saying no you dont.

luckily i managed to reason with myself once i had left the room and ranted to my friend aka fellow accused

still fuming now and fuming that the stuation bought about those thoughts. i KNOW i dont want one, and i KNOW it wouldnt have helped but why was i so set on thinking i needed one?? bloody damn nicotine monster

no im sad and angry for being accused and sad and angry that the little monsters voice was so loud :(

5 Replies

oldestnewest
  • I fully understand how you feel, not about the accusation, but the anger about the desire to smoke. I have been there myself!

    However, you must realise that you have years of perceiving that you need a smoke to deal with that type of stress. It takes time and practice to deal with these situations and you are only weeks into the quit so don't feel bad about it, understand that it takes time to unlearn the years of smoking experience.

    The most important thing is that you did not smoke, so another situation dealt with, more experience racked up and more strength to your quit!

    Best wishes.

    Nic

  • You probably felt backed into a corner and you were so angry anyway, which wouldn't have helped when the thought of a smoke came along! Probably how you would have dealt with the accusation before your quit would have been to get out and have a fag to make you feel better (or so you thought)

    Well done for reasoning with yourself and not giving in and sorry to hear about the false accusation, that's not nice!

  • I think rather than beating yourself up for having the thought... you should be really proud that you resisted and reasoned with yourself!!!!

    The desire to smoke in times of stress is just learned behaviour..a reflex action from years of smoking and having to have a cigarette when stressed to feel normal... as we know it in fact makes us more stressed not less!!!!!

    I am pleased you passsed the test (Nicotine test that is... I am sure the accounts exam will be fine too..lol)

    Keep it up ld13.. if you crack it will be much harder for me too!!!!

  • i did pass the exam too :D

    it was horrible like there was nothing i could do to release the stress. i couldnt smoke even though i wanted to so it made me just wanna punch something! (or someone lol)

    your right though. i guess i should be pleased i didnt cave in.

  • ok this scared me

    tonight i have been accused of cheating in my accounts exam last week.

    some stupid pathetic sad arse with no life tried to accuse me and my friend of cheating by copying each other and complained to our course tutor. of course we were NOT cheating and our papers reflected that, neverless, as im sure you understand i was FUMING by even being asked about it!!!!

    all i sat there there thinking when i was getting angrier and angrier was "i need a fag, i need a fag" and i couldnt get rid of the thought!!! whilst in the room with the tutor going on about it, there was no voice saying no you dont.

    luckily i managed to reason with myself once i had left the room and ranted to my friend aka fellow accused

    still fuming now and fuming that the stuation bought about those thoughts. i KNOW i dont want one, and i KNOW it wouldnt have helped but why was i so set on thinking i needed one?? bloody damn nicotine monster

    no im sad and angry for being accused and sad and angry that the little monsters voice was so loud :(

    I see this as a really positive event.

    You were severely tested and you proved that you are stronger than an addiction.

    What matters is that no matter how strong the little voice screamed "I want a cigarette" you did not give in to that voice and reasoned with it.

    It is only natural that in situations of extreme stress (which this was for you) that you would naturally look around for your little "friend" for support.

    Without cigarettes, we can actually learn to deal with our problems there and then, just as you did.

    It must have been a horrible situation and being accused of cheating in that way must have felt awful for you. You also dealt with this in the same adult manner! Take no notice of this person, they have made an error of judgement and that is their problem not yours.

    Life will keep throwing these events at us to deal with without cigarettes and each time it does, we learn through experience that smoking does not ease the situation, it does not relax us and it does not cure the problem........in fact.......it does nothing, precisely nothing......unless you are hooked, then it relieves the craving produced from depleted nicotine levels. Anyway, I am preaching to the converted here!

    Well done, keep up that attitude - it will serve you well!

You may also like...