Hi all, I'm back again.
I didn't expect to quit again so soon, but after being smoke free for almost a month and going back, I feel sick with myself.
I admit, the smoking quenched my thirst for nicotine, but at the expense of my health and I've felt the effects immediately. I find it difficult to cycle again, I feel exhausted after swimming, I can no longer stay up all night.... and the other day I felt appauled
On saturday I went to my emergency first response course, which was a day-long course with very few breaks (often only toilet breaks, 2 or 3 minutes) and most just remained in the class.. while I (as the only smoker) popped outside for a quick craft ciggy which I inhaled like there was no tommorow... I felt so ashamed to walk back in the room and have people look at me.
I'm going to go Fu......Bloody mad, giving up again no doubt... But unlike my last quit attempt, theres no way my mind can justify smoking again, my body may say otherwise but my mind will prevail this time... I refuse to be socially stigmatized in front of people that should be looking up to me (other scubadivers) instead of looking at me with contempt.
I go to do my rescue diver course in october, and many of those in my EFR course from saturday will be there to attend... It'll be a long 8 hour physically intensive roleplaying session in the lake practicing rescue scenarios and situation prevent scenarios, I won't have the time to smoke, and I don't want to find excuses to go do it... I will go there, and the same people who looked upon me with disgust and shame on saturday will look at me as a self-respecting human.
BRING ON THE QUIT!
