Day 4, snotty, sneezy and feeling like someone stamped on my brain. More spots on my face. Yuk. This is doing my head in. Worrying thing is I'm being videoed for the company tomorrow and I look like death warmed up. I thought quitting was supposed to make you look and feel better!!! Grrrr. Not gonna cave in but just I'm soooooo flaming angry with myself for getting myself into this in the firstplace. Wish I could go back to when I was 14 and hit myself over the head with a big chunky stick. Stupid little idiot that I was.
And I'm starting to look like a patchwork quilt. No matter how hard you scrub those little grey squares just won't come off. It is kinda handy in that you can see where not to put the next one though.
I'm compensating with coffee at the moment which is probably not a good idea although it does seem to satisfy the brain-fades quite well. Not a sensible replacement therapy I admit but I know I can kick caffeine.
Aaaaaarggghhh I feel so pants! And I have shedloads of work to do!!!! And I can't even contemplate it because I can't think!!! I don't even want a cigarette, I just want to feel better. :mad:
Rant over.
It's a beautiful sunny day though.
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Thanks John, yeah I've traded coffee for tea, not as bad for you, and I feel a load better now. I think it's that first couple of hours in the morning that really batters you.
I think I may have to borrow a bit of my Mam's foundation for tomorrow. Oh lord, never thought I'd ever see that day. :eek:
heheh NO! You certainly can not And not a word outside of this forum either! The lads really would have a field day.
Nicky - Thanks very much for that hehe, I live on coffee beans - must say, the caffeine does the job, but I guess it's not good to replace one drug with another. Pomegranete juice is my saviour, I stocked up yesterday and it's really packed with good vits.
Thanks jojo - that's really good incentive. I think stress and busy-ness is much better than having time to think about it.
Had really funny day today. Much more level after my shaky mornning - lots of cravings but at weird times. There must have been ten times I walked past the back door and suddenly realized I didn't smoke. Didn't really bother me too much though after a brief moment of panic, a couple of minutes and then focussing on something else. It's still this horrible fuzzy head that's getting on my norks. If I could just concentrate for more than 5 mins!!!!
Dreading Saturday though. Just had a call reminding me to be at a friend's birthday party on Saturday night. Can't get out of it. And I know everyone will be drinking. Pants. Sober..... party...... drunk people..... uuuuughhhhh.
go to the party - tell EVERYONE u have given up, the non smokers will love you and praise u to bits and the smokers will envy you - have a few drinks, i found it took the edge off the cravings anyway. You my even find that if people are smokin in the house it gets right up ur nose (ha) and you can make your excuses and leave, just dont offer to be nomiated driver and not drink - will really p u off if u want to leave early.
Just enjoy yourself - and dicover that you dont need a fag to do it, everyone else on here has x
Oh yes, I remmeber those initial nasty days, unable to concentrate on anything, depressed, not much energy.
Now I feel I have the strength of ten men, body, skin, smell, taste, lungs, muscles all feel great!
Keep your eye on the prize Chris. FREEDOM from cigarettes cannot be bought it must be won - you are a soldier and you are at war, nicotine is your enemy.
When you finally crush and defeat your nemesis the joy will increase daily. I am feeling better and better every day - as I use the gym I can actually notice, feel and see the benefits of non smoking, the results are startling my physical ability has improved beyond any measure i could ever have thought possible.
Cheers guys. Well, it's day 5 and a bit better today. The head fuzziness is starting to subside which is brilliant because I can actually contemplate dealing with work.
To be honest antifag, the great thing is I haven't craved a ciggy yet - not really anyway. Something's really clicked in my head this time and it's the nicotine I'm badly craving, not the actual cigarette. That make sense? Everytime I think of smoking I just equate it with coughing and smoke and that constant little nag at the back of my mind that I'm doing something which is really, really bad for me. I try to visualize myself with a tab in my hand at the back door, and the thought of it makes me shudder now, even after only 4 days. I just substitute cigarette for syringe/pipe/tin foil - whatever, just a way of getting a drug in. All of a sudden it just seems so stupid to smoke, and such an obvious choice to make to give up. And I've never had that mind shift when I've tried to quit before. It's always felt like something I had to do.
So there. Day 5 going strong, just can't wait till the cheesegrater on my brain disappears. Getting there though.
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